EQ 4 U

2009-01-23T13:04:00.000-08:00

Please go to my new blog site.

Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Romance & Happy Marriage Myths

2006-04-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

ROMANCE AND HAPPY MARRIAGE MYTHS

This is such a nice little article. What goes around comes around!
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The institution of marriage is surrounded by a number of myths,stories and advice freely offered by people on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, many people listen to and believe these pieces of so-called wisdom to the point where it doesn't help their marriage and it only hinders its growth.

Many of the myths regarding relationships are incredibly damaging and it is unfortunate that they are such common beliefs. Once you understand why certain bits of advice or information can be regarded as myths, you can break through what could be blocking the growth of your marriage.

In fact, you may actually learn to appreciate your spouse and your role in your marriage even more.

Sensationalist television, magazines and talk radio have been key players when it comes to fueling any belief that there is a battle between the sexes happening.

While there are definitively some physical and psychological differences, they are not enough to earn the term 'battle' as a description.

When you allow yourself to consider any kind of battle between the sexes, you risk grouping all men or all women into a certain category and that leads to Stereotyping.

Once you recognize that your partner is a unique individual with a number of positive attributes, you can shed the thought that there should be any type of conflict between the two of you.

Any thought of battle or conflict only leads to lack of communication, misunderstandings and discourages growth in any relationship.

Nice guys finish last is one of the worst possible sayings floating around today.

Whoever thought of that and actually uttered those words must have been feeling truly low and full of self-pity because there simply cannot be any other explanation. Nice guys never finish last.

They may have a longer and harder road sometimes, but it isn't often that you see the bullies and jerks finishing first. If they aren't, who is? It's the nice guys, but they are so nice and gracious you don't hear them bragging about it.

It is also important to note that the word 'nice' doesn't mean 'weak' or ' effeminate' in any way. Nice means socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous and not at all negative in any way.

Nice is not another word for push over or spineless. Nice is as close to a 'perfect' man as you can come and they always end up first in line.

Romance is all you need in order to save your relationship is a wonderfully optimistic thought, but not quite accurate.

If simple romance were enough to save a marriage, it would be running wonderfully rampant throughout the world today. Unfortunately, it takes more than simple romance.

If you truly feel love for your spouse and you are expressing it through romance, then it will save your marriage. If you are trying to use romance to buy some time or to placate your spouse, then you are only buying time or placating your spouse.

Your time as a married couple is most likely limited and should be attended to immediately by a professional.

About The Author: How to Easily Transform a Miserable, Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With Love, Happiness, and Excitement - Just Visit:
marriage-problems.
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"What you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream."

What can you do to enhance your marriage and your life? Look better and feel better with emotional intelligence and ARBONNE products. They have pure, natural ingredients. Nutraceuticals, cosmetics, anti-aging skincare, sunscreen, baby products (NO mineral oil), weight loss (NO ephedra)and more. Learn more about EQ here.

2006-02-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

FROM SUSAN DUNN, WELLNESS & EQ COACH

You can have your own home business and product line as a Wellness and EQ Coach. Let me train and certify you. Get some muscle in your Internet business, and attract new, long-term customers with the total preventive healthcare approach of coaching. For information, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc

Get ready for Valentine's Day with a New Look. Check here for total MAKEOVER cosmetics, nutraceuticals and anti-aging skincare products.

TREAT AGING AND DRY SKIN

The pace of modern life takes its toll on our bodies and our skin in myriad ways. More and more we find that we are succumbing to the effects that our polluted atmosphere is having on our skin. Dirt, smoke, grime, and excessive exposure to the
sun all have a serious impact on the health of our skin.

Health and beauty experts the world over, understand the need for effective treatments for aging and dry skin. The treatment of aging and dry skin is not limited to those of us who have reached middle age, when the signs of aging skin are most apparent, but in fact, the treatment of aging and dry skin should be a regular part of everyone's health & beauty regime.

Everyone wants to be healthy and strong; as we age, our continued health and strength is closely related to how we treat our bodies as well as the foods that we eat. Adopting a healthy lifestyle and fitness regime while we are young is easier than trying to switch to healthy living later in life.

Young people are not always aware that their early food choices may affect their health for their entire life. Many American teens live on a steady diet of junk foods; like pizza, ice cream, hash browns, cheeseburgers, candy, sodas and other
unhealthy food. These foods appeal to the taste buds but slowly deplete the body of nutrients and vitamins.

Foods like pizza and soda are harmful to the body because they have a tendency to increase the quantity of fat in the body, but they are also harmful to the overall health of the skin. Sodas in particular and foods with large quantities of fat induce acne, pimples, and patchy skin.

Pimples can seem to a teenager like their worse nightmare. Apart from how they affect the appearance, pimples also increase the likelihood of permanent scarring to the skin. The treatment for aging and dry skin should effectively begin while you are still in your 20's. If viewed from a preventative perspective, the early treatment of aging and dry skin can save one years of anguish later. [See full line of acne products HERE. Used as a system, the effect is synergistic.]

The major reasons for aging of the skin are both internal, as in the genes we inherit from our parents as well as external, from exposure to the sun and other environmental causes. Aging from internal factors begins when we are still in our mid 20's. The signs are not obvious then, but they are present.

As the collagen in our skin starts to deplete, the skin loses elastin, the substance that allows the skin to spring back into place. Dead skin is also not as quickly replaced and new skin cell turnover declines. All of these factors are genetically controlled and must be considered when deciding a treatment method for aging and dry skin.

External factors, such as exposure to the sun leaves the skin vulnerable to heat, radiation and ultraviolet rays. Ultraviolet rays harm the skin and may also be a factor in the development of skin cancer. Over the years, just a few minutes' worth of exposure to the sun daily without protection can result in wrinkles, age spots, freckles, and patchy, rough skin.

Prevention is key in treating aging and dry skin. Although you cannot erase the process of aging and turn it around, you can protect your skin and help it stay younger by following a few simple rules:

- Avoid going into the sun between 10:00am to 4:00pm when the sun is at its strongest.
- Wear a hat to protect your eyes, face and hair from the sun's rays.
- Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Drink plenty of water

All of these measures are beneficial for the skin. However if you feel that your skin needs more comprehensive treatment you should consider consulting a professional dermatologist who will advise you about the various skin treatments available. Some options may include lasers, radio frequency, chemical fillers,
botox injections, and microdermabrasion.

There are also consumer products on the market that are extremely effective in combating the signs of aging. Skin care specialists are making use of emerging scientific information about how to keep skin looking its best.

A product called RejuvinolT from www.BODeStore.com can be a powerful weapon in the fight against aging says its makers. RejuvinolT is enhanced with advanced anti-oxidants and vitamins, which reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and leaves skin firmer, younger-looking, more vibrant and healthier. Hyaluronic Acid, is included in the formula. It is a naturally occurring substance in the body, and one of the most effective moisturizing agents available.

RESOURCE BOX: Visit http://www.HealthandFitnessVitality.com for the latest in Timeless Health and Fitness Tips for 2006. Discover the newest trends at the Fit After Forty Blog. Find them at... Http://www.healthandfitnessvitality.com/blogs/fitnessblog.htm Article courtesy of Kamau Austin, © Copyright 2006

This article is for general information purposes only. Before undertaking any exercise or treatment program always check first with your doctor and health professionals.

Why Become a Coach

2006-02-11T21:06:00.000-08:00

WHY YOU SHOULD BECOME A CERTIFIED COACH (think about it!!)

KEYWORDS: network marketing, marketing, Arbonne, health, coach, coach certification, EQ coach, wellness, wellness coach, certified coach, success, entrepreneur, music, stress, mobbing, bullying, changing beliefs, psychology, money, internet marketing, nutraceuticals, wellness products, business

SUMMARY: It isn’t as easy to make money at network marketing as they’d like you to believe. You need to position yourself uniquely, and build a marketing strategy around a synergistic package as a certified Wellness/EQ coach. From this platform, you can launch!

“Network Marketing Business Going Down the Tubes?”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ & Wellness Coach

Let’s face it, building an Internet business isn’t easy. How do you get customers? How do you keep them? What’s the hook besides just being another person selling another something, like everyone else trying to get rich quick on the Internet.

The trick it to position your product around something greater and more sustaining, and there’s a field specifically designed to make this possible. It’s called coaching! It adds the synergy that can get you launched.

Become a certified professional coach and you immediately stand out from the crowd. You give yourself credibility with your customers, and hugely increase your influence-base. You immediately operationalize your product. The person can see it as part of their life. You become someone who meets needs, not someone who just sells a widget.

Coaching developed because it was needed. It’s a source for people who want to make positive changes in their lives. The typical profile of a coaching client is someone motivated, educated, above the mean in income. Coaching is Internet-driven, conducted mostly by phone, so you have people already Internet savvy, ready and willing to buy.

Becoming a certified Wellness/EQ Coach is a simple process. It’s fresh, it’s new, and EQ is so hot. It’s an investment in your business that will allow you to get more customers and clients, keep them longer, and recruit more sellers under you. The major goals are getting your clients on auto-ship and getting others to sell for you. Being a coach attracts more qualified people your way. You can swing a much wider net.

As a certified Health Coach and EQ Coach you become a person who can meet many needs that are inter-related in ways that makes sense to your clients and customers and have a powerful synergy.

Here’s an example. We know that emotions effect the immune system, and that the immune system is, quite literally our health. We have antibiotics for infections, but there is nothing for a virus like flu or Bird flu. Your immune system is your FIRST line of defense against a bacteria, and your ONLY line of defense against a virus. But don’t take my word for it, I’m not a doctor, ask your own doctor about viruses.

Now here’s how it works.

If I’m coaching someone who’s stressed, or looking for a more balanced lifestyle, of course they are going to need to look at all the parts of their life – emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. (These folks trying to get on the bandwagon with “SQ” and things like that are missing the boat – it’s all in EQ.) Once I assess their situation, I can recommend many things. I can offer coaching on EQ after they take The EQ-Map and we find out where the deficits are. My ebook, “About Changing Beliefs, Self-limiting Thoughts and What to Accept,”. A good dietary supplement like DefenseBuilder from Arbonne. Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, for stress relief. I think we all intuitively know that one answer, like “get a daytimer” or “exercise more” isn’t going to do it. You want to have a smorgasbord for your potential customers and clients.

If they’re stressed at work or want to advance, they might need EQ coaching, my ebook, “How to Build Your Career with Emotional Intelligence", or “Mobbing and Bullying”, new cosmetics and a makeover, and the StrengthsFinder Profile from “Now Discover Your Strengths”.

Or let’s say they’re single and looking for a great guy. I can offer “Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women,” membership in MillionaireMatch or eHarmony, individual coaching, cosmetics and a makeover, and individual coaching in EQ, because that’s what drives successful relationships.

You can see how when you’re a certified Wellness/EQ Coach, you’re positioned uniquely, and you’re a one-stop shopping center. You can plan a strategy of quality services and products, offering your clients and customers what they intuitively know works.

The formula for successful network marketing: Take a look at your product. Get certified as a coach. Then father other passive revenue streams around it, and promote it all, as a synergistic package, from your website, articles on the Internet, and blog. Don’t forget to ping your blog.

Susan Dunn. I train and certify coaches, provide individual coaching and business programs, ebooks, Internet courses, and am an Arbonne consultant. Visit my website to learn more.

Become a certified EQ/Wellness coach and watch your network marketing take off.

Become an Arbonne consultant and affiliate with the best. I screen every affiliate, as my reputation depends upon it. I choose only the best. Arbonne products include baby products, weight loss, anti-aging skincare, hormone replacement, shaving cream, and nutraceuticals.

Let me help you build a synergistic package as a certified coach that positions you uniquely and adds many strategies for promoting your products and services and adding more passive revenue streams that strengthen your credibility and selling power. Everyone wants to be financially independent. Let me help you reach your dream.

Humiliation

2006-01-30T18:49:00.000-08:00

HUMILIATION

Yes, they say you choose being angry or not, and you can choose who can embarass you, and who can demean or humilitate you. It's true, but it's also an ideal. It's the reaction you can choose, with age, and with practice. The emotions are what they are. Part of living in a society is having a conscience, and along with this comes "shame". It's also part of learning ... at first you can't do it, then you start learning and get it right some of the time. For some people, making a mistake, or doing it wrong, or having egg on your face is very shaming, and for others not so much, for we all have our moments.

I heard one story today about a boy who humiliated by a teacher in front of his middle school class, and then observed another situation where a middle-aged employee was humiliated in front of her co-workers.

I don't like it. For them -- for you -- for all of us --

"The horror of that moment," the King went on,
"I shall never, never forget!"
"You will, though," the Queen said,
"if you don't make a memorandum of it."
~ Lewis Carroll

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To all the bullies out there: Hey Mister Bigshot. Learn some EQ and quit picking on other people because you feel so inadequate yourself!

Read Susan's latest ebook, "Mobbing and Bullying: What It Is, What You Can Do About It"

Fortify yourself with Arbonne's Defense Builder. In this ole world we need all the help we can get.

Ray Garrett, Jr., former chairman of the SEC

2006-01-28T09:54:00.000-08:00

IN MEMORIAM: RAY GARRETT, JR., FORMER CHAIRMAN OF THE SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION
August 1920 - February 1980

The 26th Annual Ray Garrett Jr. Corporate and Securities Law Institute will take place May 4-5, 2006, in Chicago.

The Institute was established in memory of Ray Garrett Jr., Chairman of the SEC, member of the faculty of Northwestern University School of Law, and partner in the Chicago office of Gardner Carton & Douglas LLP.

A graduate of Yale, and Harvard Law School, Garrett served as an artillery officer in World War II, taking part in the Battle of the Bulge, and in the 50s worked for the SEC as the head of the Corporate Regulation Division. He was the beloved father of four. He died of cancer in February, 1980.

The Ray Garrett Jr. Corporate and Securities Law Institute is "designed to provide private practitioners and corporate counsel with a timely analysis of current and critical securities and corporate law issues, and developments confronting publicly and privately held corporations."

Known for his charisma and genius, solid understanding of the law, and ability to build consensus, he took the reins of the SEC at a difficult time, overseeing the deregulation of stock commissions. In his short lifetime he achieved much and his legacy continues.

Bullying in the UK? In the Office of the Deputy PM??

2006-01-26T20:06:00.000-08:00

BULLYING IS SUCH AN UGLY THING.

Le mobbing est un poison lent
Mobbing ist ein leises Gift Zuletzt geändert
The Germans and the French call it "the slow poison."

“Mobbing can be understood as the stressor to beat all stressors,” says Dr. Kenneth Westhaus, U. of Waterloo, author of “Eliminating Professors.” According to him, the typical mob victim is a good-to-high achiever personally invested in a formally secure job who somehow threatens or shames co--workers or managers who then decide to get rid of him or her.

However, bullying is complex, and there are other reasons.

I coach clients on mobbing and bullying, both the abused, and the managers who are trying to identify it early and get rid of it. In my experience, it is often the best workers, serious people, introverts, just plain nice people. When it rears its ugly head, it upsets other workers, demoralizes, demeans, lowers productivity, causes lack of focus, raises stress, and causes increased illness, absenteeism and "presenteeism."

At the human level, it's wrong, wrong to treat people that way. At the corporate level, it can lead to exposure, and if the reputation is established cause current good employees to leave (wouldn't you?) and drive good applicants away. Word gets around, you know. As I was explaining to an HR manager the other day, "No, it is not a 'just get over it' kind of thing."

Has it happened to you? Is it happening to you now? Why does it happen? Read my article, Mobbing & Bullying in the Workplace: Has This Happened to You?

We believe, along with bullying.org that "Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsiblity to respect others."

Read my ebook: "Mobbing, Bullying and What to Do About It"

Today from BBC -- MPs on the committee which covers the work of the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister (OPDM) in the UK are demanding action after Deputy PM John Prescott's department was accused of bullying, with one in 10 workers claiming to have been victimised in the past year. We are shocked and saddened.

22% say they've witness unfair behavior.

FROM THE ARTICLE:

"The survey results were revealed in the annual report and accounts of the ODPM, which covers housing, planning, local government and the regions.

"The department should take steps immediately to reinforce the message that bullying and intimidation is unacceptable

"ODPM COMMITTEE REPORT

"The survey found 10% of staff felt they had been bullied in the past year, 8% had experienced discrimination and 6% reported harassment.

"Some 22% of staff had witnessed unfair treatment and a larger proportion of black or black British staff (14%) had experienced discrimination than other staff.

"The survey also found disabled people were more likely to have suffered discrimination and revealed that a third of staff did not know how to report unfair treatment."

The UK and European Union are definitely ahead in the area of bullying and mobbing. There is even a clinic in German that deals exclusively with victims of mobbing and bullying.

To read the whole article go here.

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If this is happening to you and you would like some coaching, please give me a call at 210-496-0678 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . When someone's being mobbed or bullied, you can't think straight - that's part of the strategy. It helps to have an objective person to help give clarification and strategy, someone who's in your corner.

Resources & Information:

jfo.org.uk

Stop Bullying Now
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Feeling stressed? Take extra care of yourself with healthy, pure natural products and nutraceuticals from ARBONNE. Our emotions effect our immune systems. Try the DefenseBuilder from Arbonne, technologically advanced formula, scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. (Your immune system is your only defense against viruses, like flu, and Bird flu. We study EQ because emotions effect the immune system, and we want to keep it as healthy as possible. )

It's About Your Health

2006-01-25T18:26:00.000-08:00

ARE YOU WEARING BLINDERS??

ARBONNE & EQ - It's all about your health.

A balanced life includes mental, physical and emotional nutrition.
Now you can shop with me safely online for nutraceuticals, anti-aging skincare, cosmetics, natural hormone replacements, shaving cream. All pure, natural ingredients that don't add more toxins to your environment. Viruses (like flu, and bird flu) can't be treated with antibiotics; your health depends on the health of your immune system. Take a look at Arbonne's DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement.

These are the laws of the natural universe:

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the
reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet

EQ: It's All About Your Health

2006-01-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

EQ is about TOTAL WELLNESS

I think there's some good folk wisdom in this article, about what you eat and how you eat it, what you put on your body and in your body.

Did you know that what you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream? We recommend Arbonne nutraceuticals and skin care products because they have pure, natural ingredients. Check it out HERE.

Studying Emotional Intelligence is like the Qi-gong and Meditation he talks about. It encompasses many things that can help your total wellness. For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Enjoy today's article about total health.

"An African Bush Doctor's Prescription For Better Health,"
by Christopher Ricardo Scipio

Bush Medicine is traditional herbal medicine - the oldest system of healing in the world. Bush medicine started in Africa about 30,000 years ago. In the African-Caribbean culture plants are referred to as "Bush" such as "fever bush" or "toothache bush and are revered for their healing and spiritual properties".

Every culture in world practiced and still practices bush medicine to treat the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual problems of the people. Today 70% of the world's population still uses traditional herbal medicine (bush medicine) as it's
primary source of health care.

For the past 75 years medical doctors and drug companies have tried to discredit traditional herbal medicine while at the same time sending ethnobotanists all around the world to acquire the knowledge of local plants from bush doctors in order to make new pharmaceutical drugs. Often once a drug company has appropriated local plant knowledge- usually without compensating the locals in any way, they patent the plants and pressure the governments into banning the local population from having access to the plants they have depended on for millennia. Fortunately there is now a worldwide effort underway to protect local plant knowledge from unethical exploitation. People are returning to their traditional herbalists because of the
failure of pharmaceutical drugs to treat chronic health problems safely and effectively.

I am from a long line of African bush doctors. My family has practiced traditional herbal medicine for many generations. My grandmother was a prominent bush doctor in Trinidad, the country of my birth. The African-Caribbean culture is a largely intact culture where we have retained much of the knowledge of our bush doctors. Here are some simple tips for improving your health from me, Christopher Scipio- your friendly neighbourhood bush doctor.

1. Eat less. Unless you are very physically active you are probably eating a third more calories than you need. Excessive caloric intake is one of the biggest factors in reducing life expectancy.

2. Don't eat alone. People eat too quickly, chew their food less, and tend to consume less nutritional meals when they are eating alone. Having company provides many health benefits and is much better for your mental and emotional well-being.

2A. Pay attention to your eating environment. Loud noises, lack of a comfortable sitting position, too many distractions and a less than peaceful environment can all contribute to digestive problems and may cascade into other health issues. Eating in a relaxed quiet environment with good company is a great habit to get into.

3. Along the theme of eating less- use smaller plates and cutlery and consider using chop sticks or your fingers to eat with. The oversized cutlery just promotes the wolfing down of food. I love using chopsticks for lots of different kinds of meals and there is much sensual pleasure with eating with your fingers the way we Africans do.

4. Reduce your carbs, especially bread and pasta. Obesity and many of the health problems that go with it like diabetes were virtually unknown until we started consuming such large quantities of bread, pasta and baked goods. I recommend not eating bread or pasta more than 3-4 times per week and substituting beans and dishes like hummous as a replacement.

5. Get and use a juicer. The juice you buy in a store is dead. Many juice enzymes die within an hour of extraction. Most juices have been pasteurized to further deplete their nutritional value. Making your own juice is a joy. I like starting the day with a blend of carrot, apple, Hawaiian ginger and beet juice, but there are so many juices to discover. I recommend the book on healing juices by Heinermann.

6, Cook your own food. It is more than worth the time. I know you are busy but you can work cooking into any schedule. Consider getting a slow cooker. Consider cooking large batches on your days off and keeping them ready in the freezer. Cooking your own food is the only way of knowing what actually is put into your food, plus it sends the right message to your body that you care.

6A. Don't assume restaurant food is healthy. Many restaurants are fond of using iceberg lettuce which is very cheap and is usually grown in high-tech hydroponic factories but has virtually no nutritional value and don't even ask about the
chemicals used to keep lettuce looking "fresh". Most restaurants don't use organic ingredients and many restaurants use microwaves to heat their meals. Just take a tour of the kitchen of your favourite restaurants and you may be horrified.

7. Bless your food and remember where it comes from. This modern life is a very disconnected from reality kind of life. Often there is little though given to where food comes from, how it was harvested and processed and by whom? Do you know where you food came from? If not you better bless it and bless it well before you take it and all the vibes that go along with it into your sensitive body.

8. Balance yourself daily with yoga, tai-chi or Qi- gong. 20 minutes a day in your own home of one of these practices and I'll personally guarantee your health will improve no matter how healthy you were before-hand. You can go to classes as well
but what I recommend is that you empower yourself by learning how to do simple routines at home so you are not dependant on a class.

9. Get and give a massage at least once per month. Weekly is even better. Give and receive this vital practice as often as possible. Even a mediocre massage is better than none at all so recruit your partner or a friend if you cannot access a
professional and don't be reluctant to lay your hands on others as well.

10. Love More. Love is the ultimate healing. Love your partner, love children, love your neighbours, love your community, love the environment, love your God, love your life, love yourself.

11. Don't forget to laugh. Laughter is great medicine. Give yourself permission to be silly, don't be so serious and you'll have a longer and happy life.

12. Just say no to drugs. Ronald and Nancy Regan were worried about recreational drugs and I agree that recreational drugs are harmful to your health but the drugs that I see devastating the community's health the most are coffee, alcohol and cigarettes- in that order. Don't believe the self-serving propaganda from the Starbucks lobby about the possible benefits of drinking coffee. There are no net benefits to drinking coffee and it is particularly devastating to women's health as is heavy alcohol consumption and cigarettes.

13. Eat like an adult not a child. You a big boy/girl now so eat like one. Don't be a slave to cravings and food addictions. Eat for nutritional value and not strictly for taste or as an emotional panacea. On my hot list of non-nutritional foods are chocolate, ice cream, sodas, white bread, white rice, and white pasta.

14. Eat soft foods. Eat wet foods. Softer foods are much easier for your body to digest and are much more likely to have a high water content. Wet foods are also easier to digest and help provide the water you need. Your body is mostly water, the earth is mostly water, so try to limit dry, hard, dead foods like crackers, bread, and cereals and embrace soft wet foods like soups, purees (I love hummous and baba ganoush), fruit, steamed vegetables, smoothies, organic plain yoghurt, etc.

The human body is a wondrous miracle of engineering and grace. Treat your body well and it will reward you with many years of health and happiness. Neglect or abuse your body at your own peril.

Christopher Scipio
Homeopath/Herbalist
African Bush Doctor

About The Author: Coming from a long-line of African-Caribbean traditional healers who have never forgotten the power and importance of plant medicine, Christopher Scipio has 15 years of experience in treating herpes, cervical dysplasia, menopause
and peri-menopuase, pain management, anxiety, digestive disorders, and other conditions.http://www.natropractica.com .

Life Coach, Another Trend?

2006-01-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

COACHING WORKS

I thought you might enjoy this article today. It's a fair summary. I'd add that you need a certified coach. I'm very proud of the coaches I certify. Also that the best way is to test out the fit. Email with a coach, read his or her ezine, have the free introductory session, so you can see how it feels. How it feels - that's intuition and an EQ competency. Education, credentials and AGE are also important, as well as length of time in related fields. It's one of those fields where you just have to have had a lot of life experience, and likewise, to work with people in this way can only be learned through experience. It starts with book learning and certification. It goes on from there by actual client-hour contact.

Remember that joke. The good news: Your doctor graduated first in her class. The bad news: It was last year.

One thing we want to know is that it isn't a "fad." I think that's what she meant to say instead of "trend." It's obviously a trend that we're on the upside of the curve for. New coaches popping up all the time, coverage in the media, articles on the Internet, and people beginning to see it's what's been missing all along (psychology has such a negative focus, and therapy is good for what it's good for - and not for what COACHING IS GOOD FOR.

I also favor a generalist. Yes, if you specifically want to know how to organize a day, a daytimer and a very narrow coach might fit the bill. (Or just a daytimer). But for most things brought for coaching, it requires a broad base of knowledge, education and experience, because ... as good certified coaches know ... it's all intertwined. There's no such thing as "just a career issue."
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Guest article by Devlyn:
IS LIFE COACHING ANOTHER TREND?
"Go-Go-Go" Is life coaching another American New Age fad, delivering yet another empty promise of helping us live better lives?

Whether we want to lose weight, get a new job, succeed in business, more education, relationship help, financial relief, smoking, drugs or alcohol cessation, help with depression, overall happiness and countless others, everyone has changes we'd like to see made in our lives.

We are forever setting goals and hoping for changes. New Years is a famous time, but rarely do we find success. Certain seasons and events in our lives push our buttons and we try over and over but rigid patterns of behavior prevent us from making the changes we want.

To make sweeping changes in our lives is difficult and we tend to feel stuck and helpless when we fail to do so. We often blame ourselves and become resigned to the idea that we are who we are and that change is impossible, repeating our patterns in
an endless cycle of frustration. As Freud put it, "We tend to recreate in our lives that which we have not worked through."

There are many professional approaches to assist in learning about ourselves and changing our patterns of behavior. Some approaches are better than others and sometimes one approach can have amazing effects on one individual and yield less than
satisfactory results with another.

Life coaching is a relatively new approach to improving one's overall condition and as such, some may feel unsure about its robustness. But consider that much of what is mainstream today was once viewed as new and cutting edge, even controversial is
some cases, such as the notion of a round earth. People once held the strong conviction that the earth was flat until it was proved otherwise. Life coaching is becoming more mainstream because it is proactive and delivers positive results.

As its popularity grows, more people are starting to ask, "What is life coaching?" Think of life coaching as much like coaching sports. In sports the goals are clear and the techniques to accomplish them are learned by those playing them. Coaches
review these techniques with players, making sure they practice the right steps to accomplish the desired results. During a game, a coach is watching to see if the proper techniques are applied, pushing and motivating the players to perform them.

Certain goals may seem too ambitious to confront or even know where to begin. As daunting as these goals may be, specific methods do exist to accomplish them. A qualified life coach can break down your goals so that you know where to start and what specific steps to take to ultimately accomplish them. However, just knowing what to do is often not enough because we get in our own way. We tell ourselves that we lack the time or the money; we'll get to it later; we'll start tomorrow; this one
time is ok; I'll have a last piece of cake, cigarette or drink; or it's not my fault I don't feel good. These fixed ideas are what prevent us from the changes we want.

Once goals are broken down into manageable steps, a life coach will be there to assess progress and motivate the individual toward consistent behavior patterns that produce results. Not only will permanent successful routines be established, but
they will bring about new actions that achieve even higher levels of success. There won't be any cheerleaders there to shout as you score, but you will certainly be smiling all the same as you are finally making the changes you want and enjoying new winning patterns and results in your life.

But don't get too excited yet. Simply dialing your local life coach won't guarantee success. As with all professions, there are varying degrees of expertise and ability. Life coaching also lacks conformity to a universal approach; however, as the
practice continues to take hold, a standard methodology will become more defined.

To insure that you will obtain the results you want, find out if anyone you know has used a life coach before deciding on one. If not, ask the perspective coach for references and a clear picture of their overall approach. Also make sure you are
comfortable with the person.

If you are ready to get into action and start living your life with new results, look into finding a qualified life coach and remember that we each do have the ability to change and create the lives we want.

About The Author: About Tools To Life Developed by Life Coach Devlyn Steele, Tools To Life is a revolution in self- development, a 77-day program in which thousands have implemented successful changes in their lives. Devlyn Steele is a public consultant, a private counselor, a radio host and an author. visit: http://www.lifecoachadvice.com/

Supreme Court Upholds Oregon Assisted-Suicide

2006-01-17T16:07:00.000-08:00

Read the full article here
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NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

What if you were in terrible pain, unable to move, or maybe to think, and the doctors gave you 0% chance of recovery. Would you want to continue living under those conditions? Would you want to decide your fate, or would you want to leave it up to a doctor, a friend, your husband, or your grown kid?

FROM TODAY'S MAILBAG, from a reader: "I'm not sure if this is an EQ topic, but it's certainly an emotional one, the supreme court ruling on physician-assisted suicide. On the msn.com website, there's a protester with a sign that says "You would do it for your dog, wouldn't you?" What's the difference between euthanizing your dog or euthanizing your wife if they were terminally ill and suffering? I've watched both my parents die slowly from cancer, and when my dog got cancer, I was heart-broken, but I thought, at least I can put Sugar out of her pain when the time comes. Signed, Reader in Paradise Cove.

Dear Reader in Paradise Cove: I'm not sure there's a question in this email, sir. It's all about EQ, however. Issues such as these, we feel deeply about, and some of us think deeply about. Some tend to think more, some to feel more. Here are some of the reactions around me today:

I was interested to see the federal court bow to the state court.

Now there will be a medical specialty for doctors who specialize in telling people how to kill themselves, and providing the means, and they'll get rich. WOnder what it will be called. Maybe a PA ... it isn't nearly as hard to kill someone as it is to keep them alive. Or something like a Midwife. Endlife?

Why do you need a doctor to kill yourself?

The Hippocratic Oath says "first do no harm." Now, are you doing harm by helping the person die, or by continuing for them to be in terrible pain for instance.

I think it's a slippery slope. Look at all the in compus mentis (?) law suits, like when Granny is rich and old and suddenly gets s boyfriend and disinherits her family. They could get the money that much sooner if they could get her suicided.

I've seen the courts made some bad calls about who is in sound mind and who isn't.

My grandfather, he was in a nursing home and too weak to even feed himself. I mean he couldn't lift his arms. He said he wanted to kill himself. They called in a psychiatrist who got 6 weeks of therapy billed to the government on the basis that he might kill himself. That's just plain crazy.

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I took part in Medical Ethics Seminars some years ago. One of the facts that came out was that something like 90% of the citizens in the US would not be able to say what their father would want (say like if he's paralyzed from the waist down, has Alzheimers, is in chronic pain from osteoarthritis) as opposed to what they, themselv would want. This is like when your kids are young and they buy you a present, it's something they would want for themselves, like a doll or a toy train. A little bit farther down the line they move to where they would get you something YOU like, like some perfume. Ultimately they may even notice what your favorite brand of perfume is, and get you that. (Some husbands never make it that far!)

This is about the EQ competency of empathy.

At any rate, the poll on msn.com is currently running
77% think it's absolutely correct, an individual should be allowed to say, not the government.
9% think it sounds right, the states should decide for themselves.
3% think it's a bit much, and federal regulations should step in.
10% think it is absolutely wrong, that law must protect human life always, at all costs.
1% say they don't know.

As to these results, please be sure and read this great article on how to interpret at poll and what msn thinks about this very one.

Well, it's for sure it's a landmark decision. I have many thoughts and feelings about it myself. If it were on me to cast the deciding vote, I would have to give it a bit more thought.
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ARBONNE for your health. Get well and stay with with Arbonne nutraceuticals.

Military Wisdom

2006-01-14T07:38:00.000-08:00

"The best defense is a good offense." Get started today with Arbonne's DefenseBuilder, for your health.

THIS IS SO EQ.

"You, you, and you ... panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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Making the rounds of the Internet, called Military Wisdom. Notice it's not called Military Intelligence. "Wisdom" is in the realm of emotional intelligence. Knowing the enemy is within range is intelligence. Knowing that means you are as well, is Emotional Intelligence.

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Marine Corps training manual
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Pilot training manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal
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"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance officer
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
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Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once."
- Anonymous
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base, Kadena, Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
--From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left
to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where the hell are we?" and "Oh Shit!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
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"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."
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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?". The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
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Learn how to stay in the middle of the air during your day, with the EQ Alive! Program. It's all about positioning yourself - - emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
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Are you an MLM? Position yourself as a certified Preventive Healthcare Coach. Add clout to what you recommend, and enhance your ability to attract and keep customers. Encompass an enormous range of products under your umbrella. Email me for information on the coach training and certification program. sdunn@susandunn.cc or call 210-496-0678.

Here in the Allergy Capital of the US

2006-01-11T22:18:00.000-08:00

OVERWHELMED? Stress can make you sick. Try a prescription of emotional intelligence and nutraceuticals!

San Antonio, where I live, is currently one of the allergy hotspots in the nation. Many people are coming down with bronchitis, and even pneumonia. I stay well with Arbonne NUTRACEUTICALS. I recommend DefenseBuilder.
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"WHEN PURE SINCERITY FORMS WITHIN, IT IS OUTWARDLY REALIZED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HEARTS." -Lao Tzu

We know we attract what we put out there. If you want to change your WORLD, change YOU.

I hear this from clients all the time after they've taken the EQ Alive! Program - -"My whole life has changed."

If you're looking for a new you in the new year, how about coaching? It will speed up your progress.

If you've been putting the same things on your list of resolutions each year, or if you've already broken this year's, isn't that a clue that you need something different. Try coaching! That's what coaching is for.

A new you can start with your makeup. Take a look HERE for the help you need. Arbonne has makeup that can enhance your appearance on the outside as you change on the inside. Arbonne products have pure, natural ingredients, and this is crucial because what you put on your skin is absorbed into your blood stream.

Arbonne also offers a full Figure 8 Weight Loss System

And don't forget those all important nutraceuticals while you're getting in shape. We study EQ for Whole-Health - - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Our emotions effect our immune system, and our immune system is our health. Arbonne's nutraceuticals will help you get well and stay well.

Q: Why do angels play harps? A: Read on.

2006-01-09T09:31:00.001-08:00

To join CLub Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, go here (or copy and paste: http://www.susandunn.cc/vivoperlei.htm)

QUESTION: Why is it an archetype that in heaven there are angels playing harps?

ANSWER: Read on.

In Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, one of our EQ outreach and educational project (free to all subscribers), we realize the soothing and healing powers of music.

As one listener wrote to AllClassical.org, which is FR** and we highly recommend it: "I've been hearing you and the other announcers talk about listening at work. I agree that classical music helps me keep psychologically and emotionally more even keel while I work as a freelance journalist.

"Today I was on an espcially tight deadline and couldn't mess around. Having classical music playing at my desk and in my car helps keep in check my natural tendency to stress out. Keep up the good work on 89.9 FM."

We direct you today to an article on msn entitled, "Harp has power to soothe, but can it heal? Instrument shows potential to synchronize irregular heartbeats."

Jennifer MacKinnon, a physician with a degree in music played the harp for a patient under sedation while doctors observed the effects on heart rhythm in what was aptly described as "some weird sci-fi melding of heaven and high-tech Earth." The
patient had afibrillation, irregular heart-beat.

Interest was whetted when Dr. Ary Goldberger of Harvard Medical School proposed the theory that varied rhythms created by healthy hearts are similar to note patterns in classical music. This impelled Kocheril and MacKinnon to research the notion that music can alleviate some of the mental and physical symptoms of disease.

Bravo! At Club Vivo, we know for sure a tonic of classical music adheres to the first dictum of medicine, the Hoppocratic Oath: "First of all, do no harm."

“People know that music relaxes you. We’re just trying to get more medical validation,” said Dr. MacKinnon... She took up harp-playing at age 10 and as a child, used to play for patients of her father, also a physician."

We discuss in Club Vivo, the common association of healing and music, represented by the archetype of Apollo, the Greek god of Medicine and Music. What's being discussed now was known centuries ago. That's what an archetype is all about, similar to the depiction of angels in heaven playing harps.

Some believe the harp has special propensity for healing because the resonant vibrations from live harp music may be particularly effective at regulating
quivering heart rhythms. [Note it says "live" harp music."] Other musical instruments and recorded music might offer similar benefits, Kocheril said, making a “music prescription” easier to follow. "Potentially, there could be a prescription for music five days a week ... to keep the heart healthy in general and specifically to keep rhythm disorders under control."

There is at least one music therapist who offers her clients an hour of her own live harp playing. She uses it to relieve chronic pain, such as that from osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia.

Bizarre to me, a doctor speculates against the inclusion in the operating room of "the elegant but unwieldy harp" when the room is already accommodating a rash of unwieldy and not elegant equipment.

And being of the right brain sort, well whole-brained, I immediately jump to the hypothesis (which is simply a learning-based speculation which research must go on to "prve") that, knowing doctors as I do, and their affinity for music, the presence of harp playing in the operating room would definitely help the physicians and what helps your doctor helps you, as they are, like it not, known to be a factor in your healing. Not just their hands, but their personalities, their presence. (We recommend and offer a version of the EQ Alive! Program for physicians. Please refer this information.)
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THE REPLAY STORE - - for your music needs

Our Replay store endeavors to make music appreciation accessible to everyone, regardless of your pocketboook.

Please check with me before you order, because I can't seem to keep these in stock, the demand has been so high. Currently I have only one of the "Understanding Opera," which I offer for a bargain price of $77.00

It is our goal to offer you dramatic savings on one of the best experiences you can buy -- tapes and CDs from The Teaching Company.

You'll have an opportunity to learn with the teachers who teach at the schools where a college education costs $100k, and is worth 10 times that. Our gently-used collection gives you the opportunity to enjoy these at incredible savings.

The more you're comfortable with music, the more it can help. Common sense (EQ) would advise that, if you're puzzling about the Italian in "Ave Maria" or "Va'Pensiero" two of the most soothing/inspiring works there are, you won't be relaxed. Learn more. The more you know ... the more you know.
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Now, the Celtic harp music has long enchanted me, and we know that the Irish claim the kingdom of lullabies, which is a heaven unto itself. And what is a lullaby, but the soothing of the most distraught person there is - - a newborn trying to adjust to living on dry land. The Irish have no contenders in the realm of lullabies. My favorite it The Garten Mother's Lullaby.

We recommend My Gentle Harp: Celtic Favorites. Listen to "The Harp that Once Through Tara's Halls." To order, go HERE or copy and paste: http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=zglqxrbab.0.0.ym9zae57.0&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fexec%2Fobidos%2Fredirect%3Ftag%3Dsusandunnmome-20%26creative%3D373653%26camp%3D210949%26link_code%3Dst1%26adid%3D1YG5YPP9EJV5NYQJAHE4%26path%3DASIN%2FB00000IMU8.

In Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, we're learning more about music and EQ and we invite you to join us today. It's free. My gift to you!

Club Vivo Per Lei is dedicated to a physician, Dr. John J. Alifano, Jr., who practises in Massachusetts, and is an accomplished pianist. His favorite composer is Rachmaninoff, which he plays beautifully. Many may not claim Rachmaninoff to be not necessarily be their "favorite" (Beethoven is the King!), but many consider it the most healing. On Club Vivo you will find an article written by a physician about a patient's experience with Rachmaninoff (also spelled Rachmaninov.)

ON ARKIV MUSIC YOU CAN PICK UP AN AFFORDABLE CD OF RACHMANINOV AND GIVE IT A TRY. (Or copy and paste: http://www.arkivmusic.com/classical/100.jsp?AID=10277616&PID=1814374).

P.S. If Beethoven's not your favorite, and even if he is, let us know. Take the Music Survey. Your opinion counts.
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ARBONNE's Nutraceuticals and anti-aging skin care products, cosmetics with pure natural ingredients - - for your health. For a NEW YOU in the NEW YEAR>

How not to succeed with those new year's resolutions

2006-01-07T10:46:00.000-08:00

ABOUT THOSE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: It's always good to look at what doesn't work!

"7 Habits Of Spectacularly Unsuccessful People," by author Rene Graeber

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yes. They see problems in EVERY opportunity.

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions.

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes.

They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.

NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.
They move based on instinct or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They don't think about the future. What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequences. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes.

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.

NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.

NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.

NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off.

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.

About The Author: Do you believe that you can attain anything your heart desires? I'm telling you, you can! Rene Graeber uses and teaches will power and mind control for more than 10 years. Visit his website and learn how to unleash your full potential of your mind - just visit http://www.will-power-mind-control.com
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I am a Life Coach. If you'd like to work on your resolutions, goals and plans, give me a call at 210-496-0678, or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . I work with people on a wide variety of issues involving career, success, relationships, leadership, life skills and emotional intelligence.

Bird Flu Kills Boys in Turkey

2006-01-05T00:30:00.000-08:00

BIRD FLU KILLS BOY IN TURKEY

According to the BBC today, a Turkish boy has died of the bird flu in human form, a sister is seriously ill, and a third brother has symptoms. The boys work on a chicken farm. They ate infected poultry they kept at the house.

This is the first time the H5N1 strain has been detected outside east Asia, where it has killed at least 70 people.

Your immune system is your first line of defense against bacteria, and your ONLY line of defense against viruses. There are no cures for viruses (such as bird flu). Check this out with your doctor.

It's best to start building up your immune system now. You can find two products at Arbonne, "Get Well Now" and "Defense Builder". Ask me for more information if you'd like and shop conveniently with me at www.susandunn.myarbonne.com .

Says BBC: "So far the disease appears only to have infected people who live or work closely with birds, but health experts fear it could mutate and spread among human populations as easily as common influenza."

I have been taking DefenseBuilder for some time now. Every year in late December when the cedar pollinates in south Texas, I get a sinus infection (me and a lot of other people). For many, it goes into bronchitis, and pneumonia.

This year was no exception. I was in the doctor's office Christmas Eve day. I got the same medication I always do, but instead of having it linger on, get worse, last a long time, by Christmas Day I felt great and was able to enjoy my holidays. Within two days I was virtually symptom-free.

This is what a good immune system ("good health") can do for you. You will be able to fight many things off. Then, if you do get sick, which still happens, you are more likely to recover fast, and completely.

Did You Gain Weight over the Holidays?

2006-01-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

READY FOR DETOX?

The holidays bring excesses of food, alcohol, sugar, emotions, and loafing.

If you've gained a few pounds over the holidays and let your exercise routine slide, NOW is the time to regain control of your life. One of the best things you can model for your children is when to start and when to stop. So you ate too much over the holidays? One key to a sustaining lifestyle is to be able to stop immediately, and get that weight off.

In light of emotional intelligence, which is facilitated by optimism, we know that the essence of this beneficial outlook is not the "up" side, it's the ability to stop the downward spiral. See how this works with weight gain?

Studies show that being overweight or obese during childhood can lead to physical and mental health problems in later life, such as heart disease, diabetes, osteoarthritis, back pain, low self-esteem and depression.

So give yourself - - and your kids - - a break. Start immediately to change your diet and exercise regime. Your kids are watching.

Use Arbonne weight loss products to help with discipline, focus and natural products for balanced nutrition.

Here's a tip. When dieting, always take a great multi-vitamin like Arbonne's.

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And in case you need a little inspiration, did you read the article in the Washington Post by Susan Levine?

It started with a study by the Irish that found that many patient's rear ends were too fat for regular-length needles to reach their target. Over on this side of the pond, one of our every three Americans is fat.

The article goes on to talk about all the changes that are going to have to be made to accommodate obese people. The most sobering thing about the article is that it talks entirely of changes in the medical world, in the doctor's office, which is where you are likely to be a lot if you're overweight.

Some examples: "...blood-pressure cuffs now come in 'large adult X long' for arms that don't fit smaller circumferences. Patient gowns can be ordered in size 5X, providing 'comfortable, comprehensive coverage,' according to the ad for one product. There are wheelchairs with seats up to four feet wide, scales that measure many hundreds of pounds [up to 600!] and hospital beds built sturdy enough to handle excessive loads...."

In addition, physicians are starting to install loveseats in their waiting rooms for patients who cannot sit in regular chairs with arms.

The article talks about how humiliating it is. Need it be said that it's also limiting to your health, and dangerous to your health?

GET ON THIS NOW, with ARBONNE.

Help for your #1 Resolution - Lose Weight

2006-01-01T00:33:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THE #1 RESOLUTION IN THE U.S. IS "LOSE WEIGHT". It's particularly important when you're single and dating, because the #1 request of men on the Internet dating sights is "no extra pounds."

So here's how we do it.

WEIGHT LOSS TIP: DON'T GO HUNGRY,
by guest writer Kathy Burns Millyard

If you're planning to work harder on losing weight in the new year, it will help tremendously if you can figure out how to avoid the most common problem: Hunger.

Many people make the mistake of starting a diet that restricts their food intake, or restricts certain kinds of foods. And many of these diet plans just make you hungry... and that makes weight loss even harder.

This may be hard for you to believe, but certain foods actually make you hungrier. If you can avoid these, you'll go a lot farther with reaching your weight loss goals and resolutions this year.

1. Sugar - Yes, it makes you hungrier. It's sly though... when you first down a can of sugary soda, or grab a doughnut on your way out the door, it seems to kill the hunger almost immediately. This happens though, because it spikes your blood sugar (glucose) levels. Within an hour or two of having that dose of sugar, your glucose levels start dropping drastically again and you start feeling ravenous again.

2. Simple Starches - Pasta, white bread, white rice, and other simple starches are just another form of sugar to your body. They spike your glucose levels quickly, then when your body starts crashing you find yourself hunting through the fridge or visiting the vending machines again.

3. Low Fat - This is one people don't like to hear... but I've tested it personally myself and with my family, plus I've researched it quite a bit. In short, keeping your fat intake too low will cause you to eat more, because it doesn't satiate you. If instead, you increase your fat intake even slightly - with "good" fats of course - you'll find yourself feeling full faster, and staying satiated longer. [Here we recommend you use Arbonne's NutriMin Fatty Acid Supplement. For me, it cuts out all craving for potato chips, mayonnaise and butter AND makes my hair shine!]

In addition to adding a little fat to your eating habits [and the Arbonne's NutriMin Fatty Acid Supplement], one other excellent resource for feeling full longer is fiber. Now, it's not easy to add more fiber to your diet - particularly if you eat from boxes, or use a lot of frozen or microwave meals. Even the "high fiber" cereals you find these days have just 2 or 3 grams of fiber per serving. That's definitely better than the high sugar cereals, but it's not enough. Try eating raw veggies and fruits, and try buying some of the specialized foods that have recently come on the market with additional fiber in them. Quaker Oatmeal for instance, recently released a version of their product which has 6 or 8 grams of fiber per serving, and there are a few other cereals out with as much as 10 grams of fiber per serving.

If you still need help getting additional fiber in your daily eating schedule, try a high quality fiber supplement like ProFibe [or Arbonne's Fiber supplement].

© 2005, Kathy Burns-Millyard - Kathy is a professional published writer who covers a variety of popular topics such as health, fitness, decorating, and gardening. Find more HREF="http://www.ScaleTippers.com">weight loss tips and resources
at ScaleTippers.com
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BEFORE
AFTER

The hardest part of the diet is the last 10 lbs., when you've been dieting for a while, and are close to your desired weight. Victor Holtreman did it in just 9 weeks, and in his ebook he tells you how.

"The Last 10 Lbs." is an extremely helpful ebook written by someone who figured out how to do it and tells you how. ORDER WEIGHT LOSS EBOOK HERE, just $12.95.

What you'll find in "The Last 10 Pounds":

· Continual fat loss: How you can keep your body from adapting.
· Setting your goals. How do you figure out what's realistic?
· The best exercises to lose weight quickly.
· What kind of results to expect in what timeframe.
· Determining your baseline.
· You'll learn what to eat.
· You'll learn to determine how much to eat.
· How to lose fat and still enjoy your favorite foods.
· The absolutely critical thing that most people never do.
· How to keep yourself absolutely on track.
· What types of workouts you should be doing.
· How often to work out.

What you will not find:

· This is not a plan that crosses your favorite foods off your list forever.
· This does not involve the use of supplements to boost your metabolism.
· This is not a "lose 10 pounds (of water weight) in 2 days" diet.
· ...or any other kind of "lose fat while you sleep" or whatever else nonsense.

ORDER HERE

If you order, in addition to the eBook you will also receive the following:

--Access to a message board where I will answer your questions, help you with your progress, and where you can discuss the techniques in "The Last 10 Pounds" with others.

--A custom spreadsheet I've developed for tracking your overall weight and body fat loss progress with just two easy measurements done once a week.

--Links to cutting edge fitness resources on the web.

ORDER THE LAST 10 LBS. HERE

To guard your health during the process, order Arbonne supplements and Figure 8 HERE. It's crucial when dieting to make sure you take a good nutraceutical so you'll stay healthy, and DefenseBuilder for your immune system. It's just as important when you're not dieting because we no longer get the nutrition we need from our food.

Will There Be a Flu Pandemic?

2005-12-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

WHAT'S A PANDEMIC OF AVIAN FLU GOT TO DO WITH EQ?

Everything!
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“Worrying about a Pandemic of the Flu?”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Q: Could there by a pandemic?
A: My physician says we’re overdue for one.

Q: Should you panic?
A: Panicking doesn’t help anything.

Q: What IS a flu pandemic?
A: An influenza virus that adapts to humans and since it’s new, humans have no immunity to it.

There are some things we can count on when there’s something that could effect a lot of people in a bad way, thereby increasing the odds it could happen to YOU. One is that there will be panic. Emotions can overtake thinking clearly, gathering facts, considering the source of rumors (reality-testing), coping intelligently with the risk, and making good decisions.

Another is that opportunists will capitalize on the panic to get you to buy something that will “cure” it which they will “guarantee” will keep you safe. Remember all the hype at the millennium?

Lastly, politicians and activists will capitalize on the situation as well, leveraging fear and hatred to attack opponents and polarize groups, and agitating to influence people to support or vote for them. We need only consider the recent flooding in New Orleans to get a look at this.

AS IF THE FLU WEREN'T ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT.

How does this work? I heard not long ago, via blog and friends, that flu vaccine would be in short supply, in one case that the government was stockpiling it, and in another case that “they” were hoarding it so only “[one ethnic group] could have it or so that [another ethnic group] couldn’t have it.

Imagine my surprise when I wandered into a neighborhood clinic on Christmas Eve (with a sick relative) and saw a huge sign on the door: FLU SHOTS AVAILABLE HERE - $25.

Not only was it “in supply,” so much so they were advertising, but it was affordable to most pocket books

This flu thing is an excellent example of how Emotional Intelligence can benefit you: It’s a good time to THINK about a very EMOTIONAL issue.

People who want to sell us something, get elected, get us to support a cause, or are just plain hate-mongers will prey on our emotions any way they can.

It's Marketing 101 that you can get someone to buy something by scaring them about what will happen if they don’t buy it, and/or making it scarce (or appear to be scarce). That's called "urgency." It’s “hype” - - from “hyperbole,” an extravagant exaggeration. We can also get carried away by our own fears, when what is needed is information - - facts, not rumors.

To deal with "the flu" intelligently you need to unemotionally gather information from reliable sources, and then analyze it. Someone’s blog, what your neighbor says, or information garnered from someone who has something to gain are not necessarily reliable. Panicking never helps anything, except people who use your panic against you.

Here’s some information for you to consider, but don’t take my word for it, do your own research. Talk to your doctor. Check out resources. Verify. THINK.

THIS IS NOT LIKE THE BLACK DEATH OR THE PLAGUE

”The Plague” or “Black Death” that swept Europe in the 1300s was bacterial, carried by rodents and spread to humans via infected fleas. In 5 years it killed 25 million people, 1/3rd of the people in Europe. Why? The conditions of the times made it unstoppable - - poor nutrition, poor sanitation, ignorance, superstition, and rudimentary medicine. The germ theory had not yet been conceptualized and cause-and-effect were not understood, i.e., the Plague would subside in the winter and return again in the spring, but nobody knew why. The reason was that fleas are dormant in the winter.

All 3 types of plague - Bubonic, which effects the lymph glands; Septicemia, which effects the blood; and pneumonic, which infects the lungs – can be treated with antibiotics if caught in time and supplies are ample. Antibiotics work optimally in a body that's healthy and well nourished with a strong immune system.

THE FLU ("INFLUENZA") IS VIRAL.

There is no known cure for a virus. Vaccinations help because they raise our immunity, the only way we can fight it off. Therefore, whatever bolsters your Ommune system can help you fight off a virus, or recover from one.

Shopping for a good nutriceutical requires thinking. Consider a product such as Arbonne’s Defense Builder. Look for products with pure safe ingredients that have the scientific research backing their claims. [See resources for evaluation below.]

Flu pandemics are rare, but recurring. The World Health Organization (WHO) notes 3 in the previous century: “Spanish influenza” in 1918, “Asian influenza” in 1957, and “Hong Kong influenza” in 1968. The 1918 pandemic was by far the worst, killing 40–50 million people worldwide.

Previous pandemics circled the globe in 6-9 months, when global travel was by ship. Today, with air travel, this could probably happen in less than 3 months.

As to pandemic preparedness planning, WHO currently classifies Avian flu (H5N1) as phase 3, i.e., “a virus new to humans is causing infections, but does not spread easily from one person to another.” If H5N1 evolves to a form as contagious as normal influenza, a pandemic could begin.

Influenzas are transmitted the same way as the common cold, a virus - - by coughing, sneezing (airborne droplets), or by contact with an infected person’s saliva.

THEREFORE, TAKE THE USUAL HEALTH PRECAUTIONS:

1. Get your immune system up-to-speed. Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, manage stress, and use a nutraceutical that nutritionally supports your immune system such as Arbonne's DefenseBuilder, or Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement, scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.

2. Avoid things that weaken your immune system like diseases untreated and negative emotions. (Take The EQ Alive! Program to learn about the effects of emotion on the immune system and what you can do about it. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for information.)

3. If you get sick, take care of yourself. See a doctor, take the medication prescribed until the dose is complete, rest, and stay home so you don’t infect others. It is crucially important to complete the course of an antibiotic. Each time you do not, you allow that particular bacteria to "get used to" the antibiotic and therefore become resistant to it, so it can go on to attack you, and others, again, and resist treatment. There are several bacteria around now that are resistant to antibiotics because of this. That's not a nice way to treat the ecosystem you live in. (The theory is more or less, "don't leave it wounded.")

4. Practice common cleanliness, washing your hands after you use the restroom, not drinking from a public water fountain, avoiding people who are sneezing, coughing, or obviously infected, and checking the sanitation in public restrooms and restaurants. (Is there a sneeze shield at the salad bar? Is the server wearing plastic gloves and a hairnet?) One item I noticed on a recent cruise was a packet of papers attached by the door to the restroom so you could use one to open the door handle, assuming that not everyone washes their hands. Good idea whose time has come!

5. Educate those around you. For example, a study that came out last year revealed that the telephone in an average office has more germs per square inch than the office toilet. Use an antiseptic cleaner, starting with your own desk, telephone and keyboard.

PRACTICE GOOD EMOTIONAL HYGIENE

6. Practice good emotional intelligence, good EQ hygiene, as it were. Our emotions effect our immune system. Programs such as The EQ Alive! Program can teach you about this. Don’t panic, use your head. Don’t pass on rumors. Verify what you hear with reliable, educated sources like your personal physician. See a doctor if you’re ill.

IN OTHER WORDS, USE YOUR HEAD!

USEFUL RESOURCES :

10 Things You Need to Know about Pandemic Influenza from WHO.

National Academy of Science Information on functions and potential benefits of vitamins and minerals, as well as upper safe limits for nutrients.

FDA, Tips for the Savvy Supplement User: Making Informed Decisions And Evaluating Information. How to evaluate medical and nutritional information and resources on the web.

MedWatch, FDA Safety Information and Adverse Event Reporting Program.
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And avoid further assault on your body, which can weaken your immune system with Arbonne cosmetics, lotions, hormone replacement, shaving cream and baby products. What you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream. Go HERE to order.

Kiss and Make Up in 2006

2005-12-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

MAKE SOME CHANGES IN 1006

Resolve to work on your emotional intelligence for the New Year and it can help you keep all those other resolutions!

Among a great list of resolutions from msn.com comes this comment from Dr. Ned Hallowell, a psychiatrist in Boston:

"A growing body of evidence shows that nursing a grudge can make you sick. Similar to the stress response, harboring negative thoughts about someone restricts blood flow, decreases oxygen consumption and throws your immune and gastrointestinal system out of whack. You may never forget how your ex dumped you, but you will sleep netter, be more energetic and be happier if you put it behind you."

The article is titled, "Let's Make Out in 2006," and includes the suggestion that you kiss your partner more. This generates the kind of good feelings that combat that stress response.

Here's another great resolution - - avoid baby oil and other impure ingredients found in cosmetics and lotions that can harm you. What you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream.

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ARBONNE for your health in the New Year. Don't neglect taking care of yourself physically with good nutraceuticals, cosmetics, lotions, and supplements that help you get well and stay well. Try DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement.

For the full article, go here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10410959/site/newsweek .
Graphics on this blog are royalty free from www.clipart.com unless otherwise noted. Images above are from My Arbonne - - click here to buy products or become a consultant.

Seasonal Affective Disorder - - SAD

2005-12-28T20:56:00.000-08:00

YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS YOUR FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST BACTERIA (PNEUMONIA) AND YOUR ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST VIRUSES (FLU, BIRD FLU). IT'S TRUE, ASK YOUR DOCTOR. THEN GET ON ARBONNE'S DEFENSE BUILDER. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT SICKNESS!

“It’s Time for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Take care!”
by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects about 5% of us severely and perhaps 25% of us more mildly. Women and young adults are more likely to suffer from it.

It’s a form of depression that, according to the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), is a real illness with sometimes severe symptoms. It’s worse in January and February, though starts as early as September.

SAD is believed to be caused by melatonin, a sleep-related hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain. Melatonin production increases in the dark, so in the winter, when the days are shorter and darker, production increases, causing symptoms of depression.

SAD is extremely rare for people living within 30 degrees of the Equator, where daylight hours are long and extremely bright.

THE SYMPTOMS?

Sleep problems, lethargy, overeating, depression, social problems, anxiety, loss of libido, mood changes, and a weakened immune system. For complete description, go here.

THE CURE?

Light suppresses the secretion of melatonin, so for lighter cases, get outside more, exercise outside, and arrange for more light at work and at home.

Developing your emotional intelligence can help you become more aware of the effects, and achieve a better emotional lifestyle overall. Negative emotions, and SAD can impact the immune system, which is our health, and our only line of defense against viruses. So be proactive - - study EQ, and get on a good neutraceutical now. Arbonne’s DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement are scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. Watch the cosmetics and lotions you use as well, so you don’t assault yourself further with toxic chemicals. What you put on your skin is absorbed into the bloodstream.

You may also want to consider phototherapy in more severe cases. A light box can be used that emits very bright light through a filter.

Please check with your personal physician if you think you have SAD.

©Susan Dunn, MA, certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Individual coaching, employee assistance coaching, distance learning, and EQ coach certification program. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FR** EQ eZine. Neutraceuticals for your health – http://susandunn.myarbonne.com . Pure, natural ingredients; hormone replacement, immune system builders, lotions, cosmetics and baby products for your health.

Now you can shop safely with me online at My Arbonne - - for your health!

EQ4U

2005-12-27T16:27:00.000-08:00

ANTI AGING products from ARBONNE will reduce the wear and tear on your skin, making you look years younger. Arbonne products have pure, natural ingredients. Now you can shop safely online with me at My Arbonne. Check out the NutriMin products. I use them and am often mistaken for 10 or more years younger than my age. I swear by them!

Today's guest article, "Anti-Aging - - Look and Feel 10 Years Younger without Drugs and Surgery," is by Chris Chew

Is it possible to look and feel years younger than what you are now without expensive drugs and surgery? Yes, of course you can. Here is how.

. Do Cardio Exercises - When you exercise your cardiovascular system, your heart and lungs get stronger. You will breathe better and oxygen circulates better. You may be able to avoid age related diseases like high blood pressure, stroke and heart problems. Since your blood circulates well, that will put a glow of pink health on your skin and face. And since you are fitter, you won't look tired and haggard. Cardio exercises will also help you to maintain a healthy weight. With low body fat, you will also avoid many age related diseases besides look great and younger.

. Build Muscle - In order to build muscles, you will need to lift weights. Weightlifting with strengthen your bones too and helps prevent other aging diseases like osteoporosis and muscle dystrophy (wasting away of muscles). With cardio exercises, weightlifting and correct eating habits, you will keep your body fat down and owned [sic] an attractive well toned body. This will boost your self esteem and your added confidence will be another look young factor.

. Avoid Direct Sunlight- Always wear at least an SPF 15 sun block when out in the sun even on cloudy days. Sunlight is now known to be one of the main factors of skin aging. Prolong exposure to sunlight will cause wrinkles, skin pigmentation, rough and coarse skin and even skin cancers.

. Vitamins and Antioxidants - Take multi vitamins and antioxidants regularly as a supplement. They will mop up free radicals and improve your general health besides providing better immunity to diseases and great looking skin. [We recommend Arbonne's Defense Builder, Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement and other neutraceuticals, scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.]

. Sleep - Sleep at least 8 hours a day. More even better. Sleep helps your body to recharge and repair itself from stress and work. Your muscles build up from the exercises you have done during your sleep. Furthermore, with enough rest, you will look fresh and radiant. They don't call it "beauty sleep" for nothing right?

. Water - Drink lots and lots of plain water. It will help flush out toxins and waste products and thereby hydrating your skin for a better glow.

. Say No To Cigarettes and Alcohol - Cigarettes and alcohol are a no no if you want smooth beautiful skin. Cigarettes with its many toxins will speed up the aging process. Wrinkles and fine lines on your face and hands will appear even when you are young. Alcohol will dehydrate your skin and you will have with flaking and dry skin. Combine the two together, you will look much older than you really are. Just do all these anti aging and very soon, you will look years younger without surgery or drugs.

About The Author: Chris Chew is a personal trainer who count fashion models, international pageant winners, actors and other celebrities as his clients. He authored "Burn Fat Build Muscles Fast!" ebooks at http://www.sgfitness.com and runs a health and fitness outfit in Singapore http://www.sgfitnessonline.com
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Merry Christmas!

2005-12-25T06:12:00.000-08:00

BEST WISHES FROM SUSAN DUNN AND STAFF FOR A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

The dawning of another Christmas Day. What's it like where you live?
How are you feeling emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually?

Here in San Antonio Texas USA it's a perfect day - - crisp and cold with bright sunshine. I was hoping to be able to have a fire in the fireplace, and this is just the day. I have a few more things to prepare for the feast, and family is coming over shortly. Then we have taken rooms down at the beautiful La Mansion on the River. The SA River, a great tourist attraction and boon to us locals, will be lits up like the proverbial Christmas tree at night, very festive.

I feel like I did a reasonable job at Christmas, keeping some balance. I gave gifts I was pleased with, to the people I wanted to remember, and they got delivered on time. I always think of those who are extra-stressed at this time of year with their jobs, like postal workers, sales people who must meet a year-end quota, restaurant owners and caterers, doctors and ministers, for instance. I met the postman at the mailbox yesterday and I asked him how it was going. He said they'd be working "until the last package is delivered." He looks like Santa, a middle-aged man with a full white beard and a big smile on his face, and "Santa" he is!

Well, time to go light the fire in the fireplace and put the last finishings on the house and meal. It will be another great Christmas. They all are, and some of them have been very different from others!

Jacquie Lawson has outdone herself with this one. Enjoy this beautiful holiday card or cut and paste: http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=TH34293890

Living a Guilt-free Christmas

2005-12-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

TO GIVE GIFTS OR NOT TO GIVE GIFTS? If you enjoy it, and it makes you happy, indulge! If there's a tinge of guilt somewhere about it, consider our guest article today, "Living A Guilt-Free Christmas," by guest writer, Catherine Franz

Do you have feelings that you didn't do something as well as you would have liked this year? With the intention to solve this by the end of the year? Many of us desire to begin the new year in a new light in our relationships. The ultimate motive, however, is that we don't want to drag our emotional baggage into the coming year.

Having Thanksgiving in November and Christmas in December all leading to the beginning of new promises in the next year isn't a fluke. The emotional need for love and peace is set in our emotional DNA and expands during this period. Gift giving is normally the result of wanting to give something that relieves the guilt of something. All for the promise of starting the New Year with a clean slate.

Your motive during the holiday period depends on your beliefs. Yet, it is a time to reconnect with love. Love is the greatest need for all of us. It is the foundation for our need for respect, honor, and interaction. We need love as proven in studies on newborns -- those touched and loved during their first few weeks and those
that aren't. Our love for our family, friends, but mostly with ourselves, is a strong desire that is manipulated by retailers during this period. Yes, I honor the fact that it has made the United States a great nation because of it but have we ever thought of how life could be different if we met it in another way?

There are other ways to balance the holiday season, this season and for the rest of your life. Examine why you are purchasing gifts. Is it the need to feel more loved? Is it to relieve the guilt so you can begin the New Year with a clean slate -- or at least a cleaner slate? What is driving the guilt? Not enough time spent with who? What are you working towards shedding before the New Year enters?

I am sharing this with you because I know of other ways and their results are greater than anything a gift will ever solve. It begins with forgiveness and transfers into living a different way of life -- all year long. That's 24/7, Monday-Sunday, with everyone in your life currently, from the past, and in the future that touch your life.

The message is to live a life of love, light all year long. Imagine a life of being guilt-free and being in a state of love and peace with yourself and others. No judgment with yourself. No judgment of others. Is it possible? I say yes and I know you know it as well. There are people living it. You have already experienced parts of it. Begin with the choice today. Not tomorrow, not as a New Year resolution. But today. Now. This minute. This second. Live the next hour guilt-free. Then the next hour. Live each hour whenever you can think of this process. Let the hours merge together and eventually your life changes dramatically and whole
world that you touch shifts around you. You know its possible. It begins with a choice and shifts with awareness and the smallest of commitments.

(c) Copyright 2005, Catherine Franz. All rights reserved. Catherine Franz, business and writing coach, resides in Virginia and is a syndicated columnist, radio producer, International speaker, and author. Ezines and other articles: http://www.abundancecenter.com http://abundance.blogs.com .
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Holiday Soul Snacks

2005-12-20T23:51:00.000-08:00

STRESS MANAGEMENT HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER

ARBONNE neutraceuticals are the best soul snack. We recommend ARBONNE for pure, natural products that really work. Your immune system is your FIRST line of defense against bacteria (like pneumonia) and your ONLY line of defense against viruses (like flu, andbird flu). Get armed today, and recommend ARBONNE to others so they stay well and don't infect you with their germs.

Shop with me online safely at My Arbonne.

Today's guest article, "Holiday Soul Snacks" is from Susie Michelle Cortright.

Soul Snacks are spontaneous time-outs: creative ways you can nurture your spirit in 15 minutes or less.

Here's a week's worth, specially designed to help you balance the busy-ness this holiday season.

Day One

What are your favorite holiday memories? Pose the question tonight at the dinner table. Use your family's answers to plan this year's celebration. You may be surprised at the special memories that have nothing to do with gifts or elaborate events.

Day Two

For fifteen minutes, write down things in your life that you are grateful for.

Day Three

Bundle up and head outside. Make snow angels or build a snow fort with your kids. When it's time to warm up, build a cozy fire and roast marshmallows in your living room.

Day Four

What's your favorite homemade holiday treat? Write down the recipe, and share it with your friends. Encourage them to do the same.

Day Five

Challenge each member of your family to fill a box or bag full of items to give away. Decide as a family where to make a donation.

Day Six

Get out and enjoy the crisp winter air today, all by yourself. Listen to the crunch of snow underfoot. And treat yourself to a steaming mug of hot chocolate (with
marshmallows) when you return.

Day Seven

What was the favorite book you read this year? With whom would you most like to share its message? Purchase a copy for them and drop it off...anonymously.

Taking just a bit of time each day to nurture yourself will ensure you enjoy every last fa-la-la during this magical season. Happy holidays!

Copyright 2005 Susie Michelle Cortright
About the author: Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Momscape's Free Online Scrapbooking Magazine - sites devoted to celebrating life with children. Learn more about her
scrapbooking club or about starting your own scrapbooking business on Susie's team: http://www.momscape.com/scrapbooking/business.htm

Exercise for Christmas

2005-12-20T22:21:00.000-08:00

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, has your exercise program gone out the window?

Other than walking from store to store or stretching to put up holiday decorations, are you including any other movement in your schedule?

If you asked someone why it is important to exercise, you would probably get answers like:

I need to lose weight.
My doctor said I need to do it to improve my health.
I want to look better and have my clothes fit.
Have you considered how important it is to move your body to benefit your brain?
When we are increasing our blood flow as we exert ourselves, we cause more blood to go to the brain where you then have the advantage of more oxygenated blood to help with your alertness and creative thinking.

Studies with elderly people have shown a tremendous difference in the brain functioning of those who do exercise and those who don't.

Another benefit of exercise is the relaxation that comes over our body as we move fluidly, especially with music!

You don't have to go to a fitness center to have the advantage of exercise. You can put on your favorite tunes and move and groove to the music.

It's a great break from sitting at the computer and you'll feel invigorated and ready to work again after a short, active break.

2005-12-19T18:07:00.000-08:00

IS THIS YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS ALONE?

Well here's a great quote for you from Picasso:

"I AM ALWAYS DOING THAT WHICH I CANNOT DO, IN ORDER THAT I MAY LEARN HOW TO DO IT."

If this is your first Christmas "alone" after having been married for many years, I know how hard it can be. It's like being on another planet. We don't realize how entwined we are with a partner, in all ways, even if we weren't getting along, until there's a breakup. You may have really no idea how to spend Christmas alone, or what to do.

You may also lack the emotional and mental energy to put something together. You may want to just cancel Christmas and spend the day reading or hiking or something. That's ok. There' no one judging this, hopefully most of all, not YOU.

You see it takes mental and emotional energy - - emotional intelligence - - to create something, and what you have to do is create a new kind of Christmas, after years of maybe doing the same things with the same person or people.

Typically when we divorce, we lose a "family" as well. With the death of a spouse, it may be different in that respect, but still, things are not the same.

If you're still raw emotionally, and heart broken, you have to stay with the feelings, and your real friends will understand. You just may not be able to participate in Christmas at this time.

If you are farther along in your healing, or feel like moving ahead, it's an ideal time to learn to deal with the changes. Your friends and loved ones can help you!

In fact I overheard a wonderful conversation at a restaurant the other night. Two women were dining, and one was saying to the other, "Yes, I know you miss him, but you still need friends. No matter what happens, you need friends. Please come to this party."

I hope the other woman decided to. She looked about 70 and had lost her husband, and her friend was encouraging her to do one of the most important things we can do at such a time - - stay connected. It keeps you from getting too much into the downside of things!

If you don't feel like being with old friends, because of memories, or have lost part of your social network through a divorce, you can be around people by participating in a church, or doing volunteer work at the holidays. Whatever works for you.
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Music can be very healing at this time, and we invite you to join our active and dedicated CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC. We listened to the Met's broadcast of Rigoletto this past Saturday - - many of us being on car trips, a great time to listen to an opera. The commentarty was just marvelous, all about Verdi's theme of father and daughter, the Austrian occupation of northern Italy at the time, and the problem with the censors. Fascinating, and it added so much to the experience and enjoyment of the opera.
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Need some healing crytals for the New Year? Nancy Fenn's offering a great special - - check it out HERE.

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Are you taking care of your health? There are two times I've noticed when clients tend to get sick. Well winter of course, but then when they've just started a new serious romance, and when they've ended one. These are very stressful times that take their toll on our immune system. Did you know that emotions directly effect the immune system?

Our immune system is our FIRST line of defense against bacteria, and our ONLY line of defense against viruses. (It's true. Ask your doctor.) We recommend a heart regimen of neutraceuticals from ARBONNE. DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement are scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. Get on them NOW and stay well. You may do OK, but other people who don't take care of themselves will be sick and will be around you with their germs, so at this vulnerable time, it's best to get on a strict health regime. You can show safely with me online at My Arbonne. Email me if you need help!
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I AM AVAILABLE FOR SPOT COACHING CALLS. One session is fine, and often is all it takes. If you need a call please email me to set a time - sdunn@susandunn.cc . It could be just the thing! I work night and weekends, for your convenience.

Bah Humbug?

2005-12-18T20:12:00.000-08:00

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Today's guest writer is Kathy Paauw, and she writes about 7 Tips to Save Time & Reduce Holiday Stress

“My dad used to say that the holidays are when you get a whole bunch of people that really aren't that close and don't know each other that well and overcrowd them into a small room for an extended period of time so they can make each other miserable." --Dr. Phil McGraw

As we approach the holiday season, that sense of "overwhelm" rings as loud as the Salvation Army bells.

For some, the holiday season represents stress, pressure, expectations, guilt, disappointment, pain, loneliness, exhaustion . and the list goes on.

And it doesn't have to be that way!

We choose who we spend time with. We choose what activities we say yes and no to. We choose where we go. Your holiday season can be as simple or as elaborate as you choose to make it, and it can be a lot of fun if you plan accordingly.

Take some time this week to think about what's most important to you this season, and then do a little planning. Here are some suggestions to help save time and
reduce stress.

1. Create a list of holiday rituals that are important to you.

Seek your family's input on holiday decisions. Ask family members what they liked and disliked about last year's holidays. Write down the most important elements and
activities you wish to include this year, and plan to make it happen.

Keeping time-consuming and irrelevant traditions or rituals "just because we've always done it that way" can increase stress. Keep only those traditions that have meaning to you, or create some new ones.

Give yourself permission to be in the moment and enjoy the smells, sounds, feel, and tastes that are unique to this season of the year.

2. Make a list of those you want to spend time with during the holidays.

Who nourishes you? Who are the family members, friends, and colleagues you enjoy being with? Who brings you down? Maybe this is not the year to get together with them!

Do you want to do any entertaining? If so, when and with whom? Plan ahead and ask for help if you want it. True friends and loved ones will not care how many hours you
slaved over the stove. Spending time with you is what they'll cherish most. You don't have to be Martha Stewart to throw a great party!

Are you invited to holiday parties that you really don't want to go to, but you've gone in the past because you should? Be at choice -- don't play the victim! This is not about whom you should see, but rather whom you choose to spend time with.

3. Send holiday greeting cards with ease.

I've found a great service that enables you to send a real card in the mail for less than a dollar, including postage, without leaving the comfort of your desk. SendOutCards was recently reviewed in the Wall Street Journal. I have been using their service for a couple months now and I can vouch for the quality of their greeting cards. With a simple click of your computer mouse, you can select from several hundred holiday cards to choose from, write a message (using your own handwriting font and signature) and send a printed greeting card. SendOutCards will print it, stuff it, stamp it (with a real stamp), and send it in the mail for you. Visit http://www.bethoughtfulnow.com for more information and to request a free gift account.

4. Mail packages with ease.

Mail packages early in December to avoid longer lines at the post office and ensure they will arrive in time. Or, better yet, sign up with Stamps.com or another online
postage service and avoid the lines altogether. You can mail large packages without standing in any lines -- as long as you have an accurate way to weigh them before you
purchase the postage online. Once you have added the correct postage (printed from your computer), you can drop the packages off at the loading dock of your local post
office and avoid those long lines.

5. Thoughtfully plan your gift-giving.

Give from the heart, not out of obligation. Decide whom you choose to give to and make a list. This will help you avoid overspending through impulse buying.

If you think back to the most cherished gifts you have received, they are often homemade or from the heart. A gift of time -- such as a gift certificate redeemable for an activity you can do together -- can be very meaningful. Among the most prized gifts I've ever received have been homemade cards with a heartfelt note written inside. Value goes far beyond the cost of the gift.

A great resource for homemade gift ideas is a book called The Perfect Mix. It contains creative edible gift ideas, including wrapping suggestions and tag instructions, along with a source guide for supplies. The book offers more than
90 recipes for soups, breads, muffins, cookies, and other gifts. The gifts I've created from this book have been very well received and appreciated.

Instead of exchanging gifts with friends, consider having a holiday or post-holiday party with them.

Avoid parking hassles, gridlock traffic around the malls, and long lines at the register by shopping online and through catalogs. A number of retail stores now offer
merchandise online, as well. If you are purchasing a gift that needs to be mailed, you can arrange to have it sent directly to the recipient, thus avoiding the extra steps of wrapping, labeling, and mailing the gift.

Wrapping gifts can take a lot of time. Instead of wrapping all of them, use a gift bag with a nice bow tied at the top, or use a decorated gift box.

Consider giving an alternative gift to a friend or loved one by giving to a charity in their name. One of my favorite charities is Heifer Project International. Through
living gifts of animals, HPI is helping families worldwide to become self-reliant. You can buy an animal that can change the life of a hungry family and at the same time honor family and friends. Visit HPI's "gift catalog" at http://catalog.heifer.org/index.cfm

6. Spread holiday cheer with those in need.

Volunteer to serve a holiday meal to the homeless, work in a soup kitchen, or work at a food bank.

Adopt a family for the holidays and provide them with gifts or holiday foods. Many churches and non-profit organizations can match you with a needy family.

Look for a Giving Tree in your local retail stores. The tree is filled with cards that list a specific gift desired by someone in need. You select a card off the tree,
purchase the suggested gift listed on the card, and return the gift to the tree with the card attached. The store wraps the gift and delivers it to the intended recipient.

The end of the tax year is a great time to review your budget and consider a year-end gift to your favorite charities. This can represent a significant tax deduction
if you itemize, while doing great things locally and globally.

7. Use your calendar to help organize your time to reflect your priorities.

Once you are clear about your intentions, calendar them in. Writing them down for follow-up on a specific date will help you to remember to do it and will keep things from falling to the last minute. In other words, make appointments with yourself to follow through with specific tasks by a specific time. As you prepare for the holidays, remember that the greatest gifts of all won't be found under the gift wrap. They'll be found in those special moments when you make a heart connection with those you care about.

About the Author: Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas
to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit her website at: http://www.orgcoach.net .

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-17T07:16:00.000-08:00

Take a beather and enjoy this beautiful free message
===============

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2005-12-14T13:02:00.000-08:00

GIVE YOURSELF A TREAT FOR THE HOLIDAYS: TAKE THE EQ ALIVE! PROGRAM
==============
Nowadays

most people die of a

sort of creeping common sense,

and discover when it is too late

that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.

– Oscar Wilde
============
True?
Study Emotional Intelligence and find out more about this, your life, and "creeping common sense."
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc

Getting Over the Breakup with Emotional Intelligence

2005-12-13T23:19:00.000-08:00

GETTING OVER A BREAKUP AT THE HOLIDAYS

"Feel those Feelings,"
Article by guest write Michael Myerscough

Lately I've had a run of clients having a very hard time getting over the end of a relationship. Coincidentally I'm also in the January edition of Psychologies magazine in an article called 'What becomes of the broken hearted?' Getting over a
relationship can be especially difficult as the holidays roll up so let me share some secrets with you about how to heal. If you're not dealing with a break up currently, but you know someone who is, maybe forwarding this ezine on will help them.

I have a client called Dorothy who's struggling to let go of a relationship with a guy who she'd initially thought was perfect for her. When we first started working together Dorothy was really angry and frustrated that yet again she was going to
have to re-build her love life. The one good thing about those feelings was that they removed any temptation to get straight back into dating.

The first step for any client I work with in this situation is to have them feel their feelings which is an essential part of the healing process. If you're already sick of feeling bad then feel free to skip to the next phase which I outline here:

http://www.therelationshipgym.com/how_to_get_over_a_break_up.htm

Some people really struggle with feeling certain feelings. Some of us are easier with anger, others with grief. Dorothy was more than comfortable with being angry but was very reluctant to admit that her anger was masking her feelings of hurt and
loneliness. Those feelings made her feel vulnerable in a way she resisted furiously. I encouraged her to explore all of her feelings by writing a 'Grief' letter to her ex.

To write your letter take the time to explore what you are going to miss and what you aren't going to miss. What are you angry about? What are you sad about? What do you fear this break up means? What was your part in the break up? What are you always going to love or appreciate about your ex?

This is referred to as a ladder of emotion and it's great to write your letter in the above order. Feel free to use those questions as headers. That said if you need to keep coming back to anger then please do and then work your way back up the ladder again. It's important that you realise that you are never going to send this letter, this way you can explore being totally unreasonable and maybe even, what would previously have been, unbearably open about just how hurt you feel.

Explore these questions in such a way that you can feel all the things you suspect may be true even if you'd rather they weren't. Write the letter as if you were writing it to someone who really cares about how you feel.

It's really important that you take time to do this. Every time you leave a relationship there is a danger that you will harden your heart due to the pain and disappointment. That hardening makes you less attractive and can begin to limit your ability to love.

If you do this properly you'll be able to reconnect with at least some of the love you felt for this person you've parted from. Not in a way that eats at you but in a way that nourishes your sense of having a life worth loving. If you've loved deeply once, then you can do it again. It takes work to keep your heart healthy and open but it's very valuable work.

This is the first step in a process that can take anywhere from days to months and it's a good solid first step. When Dorothy first began to be honest about how sad and lonely she felt she got scared about how overwhelming it felt. As if somehow she
could become lost in the feelings or she'd never feel good again. This process requires you to acknowledge that your feelings are not something to be afraid of. If you're feeling sad you are only sad. It doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with your life that must be fixed. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to just acknowledge that you do feel sad.

The end of a relationship is often the death of something you found to be beautiful for a while. That said, no matter how big your grief is, you're going to get through it. You are far bigger than your worst feeling.

Two months on Dorothy has learned a lot about her self and one of her unexpected breakthroughs is that being alone at home no longer makes her feel like there's something wrong with her. Suddenly being alone isn't so scary and from this place she's in a much better position to think about who she'd actually like to make a part of her life. When it comes to Finding Mr. Right the first step is to clear up what's gone on in the past so you can be free of it. Feeling your feelings is the quickest route to healing and the only way out is through. Just remember that even your darkest minute is only 60 seconds long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tips on getting over a breakup

For the next steps in healing a broken heart visit
http://www.therelationshipgym.com/how_to_get_over_a_break_up.htm

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
© Copyright 2005 The Relationship Gym by Michael Myerscough. All Rights Reserved. May be freely copied and distributed as long as you include the following information: "By Michael Myerscough, professional speaker and relationship success
coach. Michael has lots of great tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use. Visit him at http://www.therelationshipgym.com/ and sign up for the fr*ee
relationship information. "
=================

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Greatest Gift

2005-12-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

Today's guest article:
Give Yourself The Greatest Gift
Author: Christopher Green

Imagine if you could give yourself the best gift ever. A gift that would bring success, happiness and abundance into your life, not just temporarily, but for the rest of your living years.

Would you be interested in having such a gift? Hmm, let me guess! The good news is that YOU CAN. The gift I'm talking about is personal responsibility. Let me share with you precisely why this gift is the best you will ever receive!

When you decide to take personal responsibility for your whole life, a remarkable series of reactions takes place. All of these reactions increase your personal power.

Acceptance is the first, crucial reaction. You accept that where you are right now is all your doing. No longer will you blame anyone else for your current situation or list excuses such as bad luck or lack of opportunity. Blame and excuses are heavy baggage and they do not bring success. Acceptance will help you abandon them for good.

In accepting full responsibility for your current situation, you also accept that where you'll be in a year or 5 years is also down to you. You chose the paths to the
destination you're at right now. Therefore, you can choose better paths to lead you to a greater destination.

Acceptance leads to the realization that you have the power to change your life for the better. So exercise your power: Choose what you want to do with your life. Choose where you want your life to take you. Choose to be the person you truly want to be. Choose to live life the way YOU want to live it. Spend time thinking about all of the above and commit your ideas to paper. Don't let the whims and fears of others guide you in this. Only YOU can be the person you want to be.

Be in total control of what you allow your mind to be exposed to. If you listen to people who live life craving for security, you will take on board their fears. So be
responsible for your own education. You've found this article so you're already taking steps to fill your mind with positive information to help you achieve your
ambitions. Resolve to make this an ongoing process.

I was once told "if you don't take responsibility for what enters your mind, you risk allowing others to educate you. And they may not have your best interests at heart." Think about this. It is so important to take responsibility for what you allow into your mind. Eliminating negative inputs and focusing instead on positive, life-enhancing feeds which take you closer to your goals is vital.

Taking personal responsibility is a big step - somewhat frightening initially. No more crutches to lean on, no more "I could've been something if only...", no more hand holding from well meaning but misguided souls who fuel your fears and stop you from taking action. From this moment on, accept that you are the Captain of your ship. You plot the course, you select the landmarks and ports you need to stop at en route to the final destination: the real you who lives your dream life.

Personal responsibility means you give yourself the power to command. Yes, it means you will make mistakes as you learn to become the master of your destiny. But don't let fear stop you from taking command. Seize it. Plan. Act. Learn. Plan. Act. Learn. Refuse to be blown off course. Resolve everyday that no matter what happens, you will
handle it and overcome it. And you will learn from experience and use it all as stepping stones towards your destiny.

Look at it this way: the world is full of people who do the same things week in, week out. Through no fault of their own, they will never ever achieve their full potential because they've been educated to conform. Why be like everyone else when you can be the unique, inspired and fulfilled person living life on YOUR terms instead of the terms of the masses?

The world is crying out for your special talents. Why keep it waiting any longer?

About the Author: Chris Green is the author of the new book "Conquering Fear", a special program which will show you how to conquer fear and attract greater happiness, success and prosperity into your life. For a FREE e-course, please go to => http://www.conqueringfear.net
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This is about the emotional intelligence competencies of personal power, intentionality and self-awareness. Start working on your EQ today, and 2006 will be quite a different year for you. Take THE EQ FOUNDATION COURSE. rated #1 on EQ.org. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information, or call 210-496y-0678. Operators are standing by ready to help you!

Muzzling the Motor Mouths at Work

2005-12-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

With Emotional Intelligence, it's hardly difficult at all. First, a look at "MUZZLING THE MOTOR MOUTHS: SILENCE WORKPLACE WINDBAGS," by guest writer, Bill Lampton, Ph.D., and then some Emotional Intelligence tools to apply!

"Muzzling the Motor Mouths"

Nonstop talkers surround us. They appear to have no concept of time, as they ramble on endlessly--following their request to "talk to you for a minute." You want to treat them courteously, yet demonstrate that you need privacy to finish your work.

During my twenty-three years in management, I dealt with blabbermouths frequently, so for the last ten years I have advised clients on how to silence the workplace windbags. Here are my suggestions for muzzling the motor mouths:

ONE: Offer nonverbal cues. If you continue your work and don't make eye contact, many people will take the hint and decide to leave. Another approach: Check your watch repeatedly. A more prominent gesture: Put your hand up like a policeman stopping traffic, a universally understood position. Start packing your briefcase, signaling your departure plans.

TWO: When subtle cues won't work, explain why you can't have a conversation. "I can't talk right now, because I'm in the middle of a project that's due tomorrow. I'll get back with you later." Notice--that puts you in charge of the next move.

THREE: Try giving a time limit: "I've got five minutes. What can we cover in that amount of time?" Then stick to the announced limit rigidly, and get on the phone or walk away when the five minutes have expired.

FOUR: Make sure you meet with gabby people in their offices, not yours. Why? Walking away is much less awkward than trying to shuffle someone out of your office.

FIVE: Wherever you meet, schedule the get-together just before lunch or closing time, when they will be more conscious of time limits themselves.

SIX: Enlist an assistant's help. Before the chatty person arrives, tell a co-worker to interrupt you if the visitor is still there after fifteen minutes. A comment like "Do you remember that appointment you have now?" will justify your ending the conversation.

SEVEN: Compliment the talker by saying, "Gosh, what you are saying sounds worth considering. Please go back to your desk now and put your recommendations in writing, so I can share them with the staff."

EIGHT: Remove the usual comforts by having a stand-up meeting. This symbolically conveys that you are not going to settle in for an extended appointment.

NINE: In a group meeting, tell the windbag, "Really appreciate your input on that, Marvin. Now let me give Sharon and one or two others a chance to respond." Another ploy: "We're on a tight schedule, so I have to move us to the next point on the agenda."

TEN: Ask for a conclusion: "Sandra, I think I get what you are driving at, but just to be sure please sum it up for me in a few sentences."

ELEVEN: Get up and walk toward the door, saying, "Let's finish this on the way out."

TWELVE: Introduce them to someone else: "I want you to share your ideas with Norman, because he heads this particular program."

Next time the company chatterbox confronts you, try these approaches. They work, and they won't shatter relationships. And here is an invitation: If you use some strategies I haven't mentioned, please e-mail them to me: drbill@ChampionshipCommunication.com Title your e-mail MOTOR MOUTHS, so I will be sure to open it. If you send me a suggestion, please indicate whether you grant permission for me to quote you in articles, on my blog and elsewhere.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Lampton, Ph.D.--author of The Complete Communicator: Change Your Communication, Change Your Life!-- helps organizations strengthen their communication, motivation,
customer service and sales. He has served a diverse list of top-level client. Visit his Web site to sign up for his monthly complimentary newsletter here: http://www.ChampionshipCommunication.com Call Dr. Lampton to bring his expertise to your group: 770-534-3425 or 800-393-0114. E-mail: drbill@ChampionshipCommunication.com
========
Most of the strategies I use aren't mentioned. It's one of the office "problems" I find easy to deal, so I'll list some of my strategies. I think they're based on emotional intelligence, not the least of which is good manners, or business etiquette. When you enjoy good relationships throughout your organization, are well-liked, and respectful of others, you can be fairly straight-forward, which is not one of the tactics mentioned aboce (oddly), you can use humor, your knowledge of your co-workers first-hand, and also your knowledge of the political sructure at your office.

10 MORE STRATEGIES THAT ARE EQ-BASED

1. Your intentions.

Emotions are contagious. If you are sure about what you need, and don't feel insecure and guilty, this won't transfer over to the other person. With etiquette. We seem to have collectively lost our manners, and they were there because they worked. If someone came into my office, I might look up and say, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'd love to talk but I'm on a deadline." With a big sincere smile on your face. Then go back to your work.

2. I find it easiest in my own office, because that's my kingdom, you should pardon the expression.

And why should I have to leave? They are the transgressor. I received people all day long when in PR. It was my job and I ran it on a tight schdule. I listened to each person intently, giving them my full attnetion. Then when it was time to begin the goodbye, I would shift posture and start shuffling papers, still listening (or conversing). Stacking a pile of papers with a noise works. Then when it was time for them to say goodbye, my call as I am in control (personal power) not helpless and hopeless, I simply stood up. But in a decisive way. Usually it was accompanied by a smooth stream of "How lovely you could ... interesting ideas ... we'll have to ... I'll be sure to...I could talk with you all day, too bad I've ..." Then move around the desk, maybe put your arms around their shoulder and usher them out. They can be talking the whole time, it doesn't matter. It involves not listening to what they're saying, just doing what ya gotta do. Never had a problem once I stood up.

3. One problem is we often don't understand what other people are really like, and how different from us they might be.

In #2, someone who would remain seated in that situation is "insensitive." Some people, too, are afraid of "hurting someone else's feelings." "Insensitive" means insensitive to social cues, and to the feelings of others (you, in this case), or to the effect they have on others -- all of this is emotional intelligence, which in this case, is lacking.

Therefore, you are not likely to hurt their feelings, which is what people who have trouble with this fear, I think. Since the other person is "insensitive" or "clueless" you are on another playing field and the rules are different. So you can barrel right along, and it won't phase them, certainly not "hurt their feelings," so keep barreling right along and do what you have to do. Always with etiquette, a smile, and being polite. You can be what you might consider rude, or what might be rude to a polite person; but you aren't with a polite person.

4. External devices work well.

Lampton mentions the secretary. I've had alarms go off, had my secretary call me, even taking the "you've got mail ding" as an excuse to suddenly look at the computer, pretend to have received some crucial email about 'a meeting' or something, and used that.

5. Use alarming non-verbals.

With someone particularly boorish, I've suddenly sat bolt upright in my chair looking alarmed, asked what time it was or nrought my wrist out pointedly and checked my watch, and said, "Oh my gosh! I forget I have a deadline/ a meeting/ I've got to be somewhere in 5 minutes. Feelings are contagious. The 'shot of electricity' works well. You're up and out of there while they're in shock. Of course you're saying "terribly sorry" on your way out.

6. Humor -- someone did this to me today.

At an office where I consult, there's a colleague who tends to prattle on about insignificant details, we'll call her "Uptight Ursula." She has irritated everyone in the office with her behavior and we've all talked about it. I went into a colleague's office and started asking questions about something important to me, but not to her. She answered "I don't know" twice and then said, with a twinkle in her eye, pointedly, "I DON'T KNOW ... URSULLA." Then she said, "Gotcha!" We both laughed, I shut my mouth and got out of there. Went elsewhere for the answer to my questions.

7. There are certain people in an office no one bothers.

Study what they do and how they are. There's a "no nonsense " thing about them, though they may be quite nice. You just know their boundaries and no one violates them. There are always models around.

8. #7 is built on your reputation for the work ethic and professionalism. Places where I worked, people knew I was a hard-worker who never missed a deadline and took my work seriously.

9. Change your nonverbals completely and obviously.

If you don't know how to "have an air of professionalism," call for coaching, and I'll tell you how. To succeed in your profession, you need to know how to switch gears in obvious ways and know how you effect others. Politicking and bonding are essential, but you must be able to show when you are doing that, and when you are churning it out. You must know, and SHOW: This is my brain on socializing. This is my brain on focusing on work product.

8. Camaraderie and nonverbal.

I've put my hands over my ears and shaken my head, "no, no". Some people make the "time out" sign with their hands, or say "TMI" and look away. I know one person who chats for a minute (or listens, I should say) then turns her chair back around to her computer, with a smile. Who wants to talk to someone's back. If they've come in and are standing, and you're seated at your desk working, when you want it to end, look down. No one wants to talk to the furniture.

Group jokes help, and if you've done your work around the water cooler these things are known. Make the noose around the neck sign, like in "Airplane" (was that the name of that movie? Airport? I forget ...) when everyone that guy sat down next to ended up hanging themselves. The first time you do it, make an allusion to the movie. After that, they'll "get it."

9. In a very uptight organization these things are harder to do, and that's the problem - an uptight organization is not a high EQ culture. Let me come do a seminar on this. There aren't rules, but there are META-rules.

10. We have a totally clueless relative we sometimes must have in the house.

He talks at people as if they were objects. If it's my turn I sit for as long as I can stand it. Then I get up and say "tag team" and go get someone else. He never breaks stride but keeps on talking. Once we left him alone in the room and he just sat there. The key is he was not ill-at-ease when we left or even if someone actually said "tag team." This is because he is insensitive. He may even have Asperger's Syndrome (see my website, www.susandunn.cc). It doesn't phase him at all, or hurt his feelings, because his are very unknown to him, and therefore people are objects to him, things to use, things to talk at...get it in perspective. So just say "I'm going now," and get up and leave. If he keeps talking, so what? You are leaving, and then you are gone.

Part of emotional intelligence is managing the emotional forcefield, and understanding how someone is like you, and how they are not. With this type of person, as to preserving relationships, you don't really have them because he doesn't know what that means, and you won't hurt their feelings or cause hard feelings, because he doesn't have them, in the normal sense. I have never had someone like this take offense. That terms is meaningless with a person like this.

Good luck!

The Office Christmas, I Mean "Holiday" Party

2005-12-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

HOLIDAY PARTY WORKS THE RITUAL

This article by Diane Cameron, a Capital Region writer, begins:

"Now comes the time of year that makes seasoned managers cringe and human resource directors want to leave town.

"Fine words to the contrary, there is little Peace on Earth at the office this week: It's time for the office Christmas, oops, I mean "holiday" party.

Yes, we've learned to choke on the word Christmas and insist that the December party where we dress in sparkles, bring wrapped gifts and drink eggnog while standing next to an evergreen tree is just a winter event.

But language games are the least of it when management has to plan the annual 'no one will be happy no matter what we do' office holiday party."

To read the full article, go HERE.

And take note of what she calls the CLM, or Career Limiting Move!
==========
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE AVERAGE OFFICE DESK IS A HOTBED FOR BACTERIA AND VIRUSES? So are phones, keyboards, and mice.

Dr. Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona, counted bacteria on workplace surfaces and found that office toilet seats had 49 germs per square inch, while desktops had almost 21,000 germs per square inch. Phones were worse -- more than 25,000 germs per square inch.

The usual precautions were named in this article Is Your Desk Making You Sick?, but of course few will comply with them. They include wiping these surfaces with disinfectant (where germs can survive up to 3 days when someone coughs, or sneezes - - and food at desk contributes to what's called a "bacteria cafeteria"); staying home when you're sick - stay home until you've been free of fevwer, coughing, nausea and diarrhea for 24 hours; and washing your hands.

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How to Score a Touchdown with the Woman of Your Dreams

2005-12-03T20:57:00.000-08:00

Today we have some interesting thoughts from Jaci Rae author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time”, a great book for guys to read (and women too!)

COMMENTS:
Richard Leiby-The Washington Post: "’Winning Points with the Women in your Life…,’ is sure to drive football loving men right into their end zones!"

Athletic Business: "’Winning Points’ helps improve relationship skills – by using football plays, scrimmage strategies and tactical maneuvers as analogies…"

GETTING YOUR MAN ONTO THE PLAYING FIELD OF LOVE
Guest Article by Jaci Rae

So you've made it into the stadium and you are now stepping onto the playing field for your first day of practice with the Dallas Cowboys. Nervous excitement courses through your veins as the coach talks about the various formations he is going to run the team through and begins to discuss the different play calls and strategies he will be using during this season's games.

While much of what the coach talks about initially lies within the realm of football common sense and comes easily to you, there are a few nuances in the game plan that you will be unfamiliar with. Also, some of the plays are new to you and could cause complications and confusion in the season ahead if you don't understand them.

A team's language will guide you in how to interact and communicate with your teammates on the playing field. This language that each player must learn is full of individual components, called the "plays." For each "play," there is a "plan." Each of these "plays" and "plans" has been specially formulated through years of research and scientific study, producing entire systems of proven techniques that can make winners out of the players and teams.

Once the methods were proven effective, they were gathered together and worked into a playbook for each team to base its "plays" and "plans" on. It is that playbook that each teammate must learn in order to be part of the winning team. This process is much the same as that of the "plays" and "plans" of a relationship. You need to read the manual, learn from those who are already where you want to be in their relationships and listen actively to your partner in order to learn how to speak their language. Once you learn this language, you can enter the game confidently and achieve victory!

A woman's perception of her relationship, as well as the language she uses within a relationship may seem very complicated, and sometimes confusing. You may find particular things in her language syntax that are hard to understand and certainly difficult to interpret! And as if that weren't enough, many women have a tendency to turn over and over in their heads most of what is said to them, finding more than what may actually be there.

While men tend to go with the flow without over-analyzing things, women try to find out what's behind the words they see and hear when dealing with their loved ones. This process is intuitively part of their naturally protective circuitry, helping them emotionally guard themselves and their loved ones. Have you ever heard the statement, "You don't want to mess with Mother Bear?" This applies here because women are built as nurturers and maintain a natural curiosity about their environment, in order to help them protect themselves and those they love from perceived dangers.

This natural curiosity triggers what I like to call the "need to know" gene. Women have the "need to know" or to discover all the "information" about their surroundings and then make judgment calls as to any dangers that may affect those they love. This of course, can lead to any number of natural responses to the perceived dangers of their surroundings and an inherent desire to analyze all causes and effects. Because curiosity (analyzing) is a natural response for women, it tends to bleed over into other areas of their lives, namely their relationships.

In addition to analyzing most of what is said to them, women may often have hidden meaning in what they say, even if they don't intend to put it there. Men are not as complicated (in a good way) with their spoken language. What men say is most often what they mean. So, why is it that so many women seem to include hidden messages behind their words? In the same way that women tend to over-analyze things, sometimes they also include hidden meaning in their spoken words. The reasons for this can be partially found by looking at the traditional upbringing and social history of women.

Parents and other adults teach women, at a very early age, that they need to be strong, confident and know what they want. They are also told that they need to be assertive and independent in order to succeed at fulfilling their dreams and desires for their future.

In reality, though, oftentimes the media image of a woman is much different. Society in general, sees images of successful women on television and in the movies that are more demure and non-aggressive, but still get what they need and desire.

The woman on television or in the media, who ends up with the man of her dreams, may have played it "coy," playing off on her seeming "need" for the man. The media image presented is often in direct conflict with the way that a woman may have been raised. Because of these two conflicting images, women have now received mixed messages and are subjected to confusing images about the way they should behave in society. On top of this, women see the men around them as being intrigued and often fascinated by the media image of a woman, an image that may not always interconnect with the ideals and values that they, as women, were brought up with.

Because of this, women may be unsure how to present themselves and may seek to bring forward aspects of both images at the same time. As a result, they may confuse the two images, hiding their true feelings and thoughts deep within their words, all the while struggling to achieve the final goal of communicating their needs or "message" to those that participate in their lives.

Our environment has a great deal to do with how we relate and react to each other as well as how we communicate with other people. Another huge factor in our character make-up is the individual chemistry that everyone is born with. While much has been said about how different the sexes are, how much do we actually know? The facts show that men and women are conceived equally in terms of their overall intelligence.

However, somewhere between the twelfth and fourteenth weeks of pregnancy, there is a testosterone wash that flows over the brain of a male baby. i This wash does not take place during the formation of a female baby. Let's take a look at how the brain works and try to understand why this is so important.

Testosterone is one of the main chemicals that enable the brain to manufacture and create serotonin, which is an important neurotransmitter in the brain, causing certain nerve cells in the brain to activate and become livelier. Serotonin can also act as an inhibitor. Most neurotransmitters can act as both an exciter and an inhibitor. Serotonin affects the brain's interior, known as the ganglia.

The ganglia are the network of the brain, which is divided into two cells, the L cell and the R cell. Scientists believe that one of these cells makes serotonin and the other produces dopamine.

Dopamine is "a monoamine neurotransmitter formed in the brain and is essential to the normal functioning of the central nervous system. ii" Dopamine acts as an inhibitor in the ganglia, thereby causing a calming effect and dampening activity.

It is believed that during the testosterone wash, a balance between the L cells and the R cells are set, determining the amount of serotonin and dopamine that the brain's network will use. This also determines how spatially or temporally aware a person is, with men being born more spatially aware and women more temporally aware. A person who is spatially aware is generally a “left-brain” individual and someone who is temporally aware, is generally a “right-brain” individual.

The word "spatial" is defined as "relating to space." As men are generally more spatially aware, they tend to be better at judging distances, which comes in handy during parallel parking! The word "temporal," meanwhile, is defined as being "of or limited by time.” This may explain why women seem to be able to associate time and events without much difficulty.

You know what I am talking about here men, that little thing that really bothers men about women -- she remembers everything she thinks you have done wrong and when you did it! I believe this is due in part because of a woman's propensity for temporal awareness.

Because of the testosterone wash, men tend to be more "left- brain" oriented and women rely more readily on the "right-brain." "Left-brain" individuals tend to be more interested in facts, inclined to logic and reason. They are more motivated in providing for the home and usually more interested in becoming engineers, mathematicians and scientist. These are just a few career choices that a "left-brain" individual might make.

A "right-brain" individual tends to be better at, and more interested in, developing relationships and dealing with emotional issues. They are more inclined to emotions and passions and are generally more motivated by investing in the relationships of the home. Their career choices tend to put them in the roles of caregivers or into jobs where they can use their artistic, investigative and research abilities.

This is in contrast to the general tendencies of "left-brained" individual. Again, a clearer picture begins to be revealed when we look at the differences between the sexes in this light. Most men might find a leisurely reading of Popular Mechanics or Programmer's Security Desk Reference fundamentally more interesting than reading Ladies’ Home Journal or Parent Child Magazine, while women are just the opposite.

This is simply a matter of one's interest and NOT an intellectual issue, as both men and women can be motivated for various reasons to read on all the subjects mentioned. Remember that both sexes are born equally in terms of intelligence.

My uncle gave me a funny example the other day of how men see women's thought patterns when it comes to making decisions. I thought that this insight was a great example of men conquering and women looking for sequence and order before they tackle the matter at hand.

Here's what he had to say: "Men rule by action. Women rule by committee. For example: Man sees hill, climbs hill. Woman sees hill, forms discussion group, sets up hill climbing committee, votes for hill climbing team, schedules climb date, checks rain fall charts, does studies to locate best path, sends out scouts, and much, much, much, much later... finally climbs the hill."

The facts stated thus far pertain only to our pre-disposition at birth. The things we experience each day, the lessons that we are taught as we move through our daily lives and the personal choices we make along the way will also be determining factors in how "left-brain" or "right-brain" we become. These factors will also directly affect our communication with and relationship to others.

The good news is that since each of us has the freedom to make personal choices, we can learn to hear and understand each other's language when we step onto the playing field to begin practice! "Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands." Psalms 119:73

Once you step up and onto the playing field, however, you will need to hear exactly what the coach has to say during practice if you want to make it to your first game. Copyright © 2005 Jaci Rae and North Shore Records, Inc. For more information about “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time” go to: www.winningpoints.net or simonsays.com. Winning Points is available at stores around the world as well as online HERE.

Jaci Rae is the #1 Best Selling author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time” and “The Indie Guide To Music Success” ISBN 978-0-9746229-4-1 as well as the host of the Jaci Rae show. Dubbed by the media as "Racy Jaci" because of her quick wit and "The Rae of Hope," for her powerful insight, please make sure to check her out at: http://www.jacirae.com to listen to Jaci’s popular show, where she has some of the top behind the scenes guests teaching about the music industry on, go to: www.jacirae.com and click on the weekly show link.

Jean Schmidt

2005-12-01T00:41:00.000-08:00

TITLE: Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward?
AUTHOR: Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
WORD COUNT: 1,1092
WRAP: 60
URL: http://www.susandunn.cc
Mailto”sdunn@susandunn.cc

“Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward?”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Being an emotional intelligence coach, and having recently published an article on being new to the job (from the emotional intelligence standpoint), several people have written, asking me to comment on the above-referenced incident.

It is a giant leap to go from Schmidt’s actual words to “Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward.” I confess I did not see videos of her speaking. I have only the printed word to rely on, but then reasonable people do side-step “hearsay” and go to the source. We have innumerable research studies showing us that people don’t see what happens, don’t hear what is said, and “invent”, especially when their emotions are being worked over.

According to the transcript, here is what Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Oh) said: “He (Bubp) also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message, that cowards cut and run, Marines never do…”

So Schmidt didn’t call Murtha a coward. Granted she implied he was, but that’s technically different. Bubp, incidentally, denies having had the conversation with her, which was enough for me to pronounce it “politics” and wash my hands of the whole thing. However, there’s some good EQ stuff in here. Let’s proceed.

Implications rely on thoughts and feelings we supply, fueled by emotion. This is something politicians rely on, the press, your boss, and other who wish to steamroll you into something. Emotions can over-ride thinking, and a person not thinking is a person at the mercy of the other. It is an incendiary leap to say Schmidt called Murtha a coward, and it sells newspapers, or whatever.

Splitting hairs? Yes, but I’m a wordsmith.

Murtha was not there when it happened, and had to go on hearsay as well. How would you react if it had been you? Would you take the bait?

Someone with high EQ wouldn’t, someone who’s been around the block a few times, like Murtha. When asked how he felt about it (by Russert), here is what he replied: “…I try not to put this in a personal basis, and I would hope the people would take this suggestion as a responsible recommendation, and then read the resolution that I put forward, redeploy the troops on the periphery as quickly as within the safety of the troops. You know, this is a new member, and sometimes they give her something to say that –they get out of hand. I try not to take this stuff personal.”

He’s evasive, using political-speak, i.e., what does “within the safety of the troops” mean?? Sometimes “they” give her something to say … who are “they?” He implies he doesn’t take offense, and then sends us back to read what he actually proposed. The message: read what he said, read what she said. Emotional intelligence is about reality-testing.

The EQ points here?

· If you care about what really happened, go to the source and read it. Then analyzie it, logically and make your own decision. Don’t rely on hearsay.
· The press has incredible power in how they report things. Incendiary comments “sell.” You should consider this possible bias in anything you read. That’s reality-testing, and emotional intelligence competency. “Take it with a grain of salt.”
· Other thoughts I had – (1) she was ‘set up’ to do this. Entirely possible, as Murtha IMPLIES but does not SAY. The reactions may have been staged as well, albeit impromptu, and definitely opportunistic. But that’s politics. (2) the over-zealous newbie on the scene. This happens a lot. (3) What would have happened if she’d been a man? (4) Her apology? It was expected. It was given. It seemed extreme, as if she were afraid. She doesn’t seem able to ‘hold the center’ at this point.

Folks, what actually happened was all implied, which brings up another point.

She did not SAY he was a coward, she IMPLIED he was a coward. In politics, of course, you take the bait. In real life, I recommend you don’t, and Murtha knew this.

There’s an excellent book I recommend by a real pro, “The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense,” (http://tinyurl.com/6hngm ) by Suzette Haden Elgin. She takes you point-by-point through the disguised attacks, passive-aggressive maneuvers, and innuendoes from nasty folks we have to deal with all the time, giving responses you can make that will keep you out of trouble. Because, you see, once you “take the bait,” well the nature of the interchange is that you are dangling in the wind.

Let’s say your new boss comes up to you, a senior worker, and says, “I just talked to Joe Blow in accounting and he said people over 50 can’t remember anything. Young people do.”

Gonna take the bait?

Not you! You’ve got EQ.

If you say, “Well that doesn’t apply to ME, I remember everything,” you are on very, very thin ground, because no one (including Joe Blow, the young man in accounting) does not remember EVERYTHING. Further, you have included yourself, whereas technically neither Joe Blow nor the manager had. In other words, you implicated yourself. Not smart! Low EQ!

Likewise getting sucked in to the black hold of “No! Young people don’t remember everything.”

If you say, “Tell Joe Blow to mind his own business,” you reveal an inability to remain reasonable under pressure.

A possible response? “What an interesting theory. I wonder he read that.” You thereby imply (fair is fair … remember, your attacker has laid the ground rules here) he read it, that it doesn’t apply to you, etc. Tit for tat. Then get back to your work!

When you give someone the power to “make” you angry, you lose…. on three fronts:

1. You give up your personal power, an emotional intelligence competency.
2. The physiological reaction of anger prevents you from thinking clearly when you need it the most.
3. A minute of angry suppresses the immune system for about an hour. Is it worth it to your health? Usually not. Righteous indignation included.

As Epictetus said many, many years ago: “Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him”

Drama aside, the issues under discussion were serious ones. If you care, read about them. Then speak your peace, write your congresspeople and exercise your rights. And don’t do it by implication and he-said, she-said, gather up your EQ and state your opinion, with the rational arguments behind them.

One reason we study EQ is so we don’t fall prey to all the people who use emotions to manipulate us.

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The Answer is Salt - Work, Tears, the Sea

2005-11-30T17:13:00.000-08:00

Our emotions come from physiological reactions coming from within us. "We" reside in a body composed of various elements. It can be easy to foget this, but we know, starting with the very basics, that we react with more volatility when we are too tired, too hungry, or too hot or cold. Today's article, by Eva Moffat, a former nurse from the UK, gives us some basic health information.

WHY OUR TEARS ARE SALTY

Salt can be found in every cell in our bodies. In an adult human there is a total of about 250 grammes (a cupful). Is it any wonder our tears and sweat are salty.

So that our bodies can function properly, salt is essential.

Exercise, in hot weather etc, we sweat and this depletes the body of salt, which must then be replaced. Most crucially, salt helps keep the balance of our bodily
fluids, that carry nutrients and oxygen around our bodies.

When I was nursing, we nurses cried many salty tears when patients would not drink enough water. Working out the 'Fluid Balance' was difficult enough without some stroppy patient refusing to cooperate.

Fluid balance is measuring the amount of urine a patient passes in 24 hours and the amount of liquid the patient drinks. Ideally both figures should be about the same.

If the patient drinks too much and doesn't pass enough urine, the result could mean damage to the kidneys. Or if the other way round, the patient doesn't drink enough, the body will store the excess salt and may cause water to gather around the heart, and this is bad news for the heart. This water swelling is called Oedema. ["edema" in the US]

Salt Has Two Elements: Sodium and Chloride.

Sodium

· Enables the transmission of nerve impulses around the body, this regulates the electrical charges moving in and out of the cells.
· Our taste, smell and touch are controlled by Sodium.
· Sodium helps all the muscles in the body (including the heart) to contract.
· Signals to and from the brain depend on Sodium.

Chloride

· Helps with the digestive process.
· Preserves the acid-base balance in the body
· Absorbs Potassium
· Helps the blood to carry carbon dioxide from the tissues to the lungs

The healthy body is able to adjust the amount of salt needed to keep everything working well.

If we need more water, because the body is storing too much salt, we get thirsty. This helps flush out the kidneys and the excess salt is passed out of the body.

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF INSUFFICIENT SALT?

· Muscular Weakness
· Muscular Cramps
· In very hot weather - Heat Exhaustion

A Dire Warning:

Severe salt deprivation can even prove fatal.

SALT AND THE PREGNANT WOMAN

Quite often during her first pregnancy, a woman will suffer with High Blood Pressure. This can be aggravated by some conditions such as Diabetes, Chronic Kidney Disease or carrying several babies, such as twins etc.

Sometimes prescribed drugs are not useful. Salt restrictions and diuretics can have the opposite effect.

Evidence shows that by having a low salt diet, a pregnant woman can cause problems for the unborn child.

SENIOR CITIZENS AND SALT RESTRICTIONS

Especially in the Summer Months elderly people are inclined to not drink enough as well as not being able to adjust to the heat. So between the two, it could cause a dangerous situation.

The salt lost through sweat is not replaced - the blood thickens and as the blood cannot pass through the blood vessels freely; the blood pressure rises.

What Happens If The Blood Pressure Rises?

This can put extra strain on the heart and can lead to heart attacks and strokes.

JUST A PINCH OF SALT

New research shows that 22 million people in the UK are now trying to cut down the amount of salt they eat. This has been achieved partly by not adding any extra salt to the food they eat.

It has been found that by checking the salt content on the labels of food products on the Supermarket Shelves, consumers can make their own choices of how much salt they should have in a day.

There are adverts on the television and in the newspapers recommending that an adult should have no more than 6 grams of salt in a day.

Eating too much salt puts your heart at risk. High Blood Pressure, Heart Disease and Stroke is the cause of death of over 170 000 people a year in the UK.

Studies have shown that by reducing salt intake, Blood Pressure can be lowered within four weeks.

If you want to be a statistic, don't aim to be a dead one. Cut down on your salt intake now!

About the Author: I am Eva Moffat is a 66 year old disabled lady, living in
Manchester England. I want to help you to enjoy optimum good health by using Nutritional Supplements like I do. My specialty is helping you with your Weight Loss problems. http://www.weight-loss-4-you.com or email: eva.moffat@onetel.net .
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Who's the Winner?

2005-11-29T07:21:00.000-08:00

The one who can make the other one angry...

"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him." - Epictetus

Feeling Stressed as the Holidays Approach?

2005-11-28T10:11:00.000-08:00

ANGER IS ONLY A PART OF GOOD EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT. WHEN YOU STUDY EQ YOU LEARN THE EFFECTS OF ALL THE EMOTIONS, AND HOW TO MANAGE AROUND THEM -- YOURS AND THOSE OF OTHERS.

Today we have a good article about anger management, but encourage you to pursue the "whole thing" with EQ study.
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HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE, PART 2 - The Bully
by Dr. Tony Fiore

Sixty-four year old Bill was a married retired executive who sought anger management help on the insistence of his wi.fe Ann.

After 24 years Ann could no longer tolerate his bullying behavior toward her, their children, and their friends. He would often relate in an insulting, "get in your face" way using a loud, intimidating voice that frightened her.

She often felt like a little girl who was being scolded. He gave her orders with no thought for her feelings or how others were reacting to his behavior. If he did not get his own way, he would often pout or withhold needed finances from her.

Tactics Of The Adult Bully

As this case illustrates, emotional bullying occurs when someone tries to gain control by making others feel angry or afraid. It is often characterized by yelling, name-calling, sarcasm, mocking, putting down, belittling, embarrassing or
intimidating. Ann said that they had no friends because of Bill's behavior. He was forced into early retirement by his company due to alienation of upper management.

Bullies Often Have Personality Disorder

Like many bullies, Bill had a deep sense of insecurity about himself. He completely lacked empathy or the ability to perceive how he was negatively affecting others.

He honestly didn't see himself as the problem and was constantly in dismay when others around him were devastated or offended by his behavior. Bill had what is known as a "narcissistic" personality disorder. He was only capable of interpreting
events from his perspective. Pre-occupied with himself , he had little regard or understanding of the feelings of others.

Can Bullies Change?

While research shows that most bullies are unable to make deep changes to their personality, they are sometimes able to modify their behavior to the extent that they are more tolerable.

Usually, the motivation to change is inspired by outside influences such as employers, spouses, or children. Bill, for instance, desperately wanted his wi.fe back as he truly loved her to the extent he was able to experience love. Other bullies we have seen in anger management classes decided to change at the threat of losing their job. Jim, a line supervisor in a chemical plant, fell into this category.

The Case of Jim

An "old-school" manager, Jim often yelled and threatened employees to motivate them to produce more, thinking his behavior would be seen as positive by the company executives.

Unfortunately, too many employees complained, resulting in his being referred to Human Resources for intervention. Turns out, Jim didn't want to be seen as a bully, had no awareness others were seeing him that way, and most certainly didn't want to lose his job of over 25 years.

Thus, he was highly motivated to acquire more effective skills to relate to employees while still maintaining a high rate of production.

He did well in anger management as he learned our tools of anger control— particularly the tool of "empathy" which includes increased social awareness (seeing how he is coming across to others) as well as more sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Unfortunately, not all bullies are as responsive to intervention as Jim was. Many bullies remain bullies because they don't see themselves as the problem. In this case, you may have to learn how to cope with their behavior, if you are in an unfortunate situation such that you need to continue to be with them but survive.

Four Ways To Cope

* Focus on the positive attributes of the bully and try to ignore the negative parts. For instance, Bill had a very sweet and generous side to him when not being a bully — a side Ann could learn to focus on to survive the unpleasant times.

* Be confident and look your bully in the eye. Speak in a calm and clear voice while asserting yourself by naming the behavior you don't like and state what is expected instead.

* Create a distraction or change the subject. Try using humor or a well chosen word to disarm the bully.

* Give the bully's ego what it needs. For instance, Ann learned to praise Bill more and give him more cre.dit and acknowledgement for things he did do well. While this tactic is a little manipulatory, it nevertheless worked well to decrease the number of times Bill bullied her. And it allowed Ann to survive a difficult situation.

2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Dr. Tony Fiore is The Anger Coach. New anger resources are now available Anger Management for the 21st Century: The 8 tools of Anger Control print and ebook,bonuses www.stopyouranger.com. Chëck our Anger in the News blog and comment at: www.angernews.
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EMOTIONS STRESS US. So does our lifestyle these days. The only defense you have against viruses is your immune system, and it is stressed by emotions, lifestyle, allergens, toxins and so forth. So fortify your immune system with a good neutraceutical like Arbonne's GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLMENT or DEFENSE BUILDER.

Thanks be to the Teachers of the World

2005-11-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

THANKS BE TO THE TEACHERS OF THE WORLD (gk)

~ GO GET THE KNOWLEDGE ~ of the difference between good and evil, or whatever else captures your fancy. Check out REPLAY: Knowledge you've always craved, deliciously peeled, cored, seeded, diced, sliced and served up to you by the greatest teachers in the US. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.

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About today's story, Garrison Keillor's "American Gratitude"

My Schwimmfuehrer ultimately threw me out of the row boat to make it back to shore. Or not.

Yes, I cried. Yes, I was mad. Yes, I made it. Yes, I was proud of myself.

In this way, he taught me something more vital than just how to swim. He taught me how to know when I knew it well enough ... when to quit hanging on and take off ... when to quit asking head-questions and live the answers ... when to quit pretending I don't know how/am too young/too old/too dumb/too smart/too hurt/too confused/too little/too scared, and just do it. In other words, how to remove myself from the horns of my own dilemma.

GO TEACHERS! Some of the greatest are ready to teach you at THE REPLAY STORE.

There's a great anecdote in EQ-land, about that bastion of brainiacs, the University of Chicago. Not that there's anything wrong with brainiacs. For some unknown (but lovely) reason, it still remains a requirement for graduation from that venerable institution (which has produced some of the best economists we have) that one must pass a swimming test. Sing ho! for the classic education.

The "final," of course, takes place in Lake Michigan.

Simon showed up one fine day last year to take the final, jumped into the water on cue, and proceeded to flail, flounder and sink. Fast forward to when the ambulance crew had succeeded in resuscitating him, and the dean put forth the obvious question: "Young man, what made you think you knew how to swim?"

Simon's reply: "I'd read all the books about it."

Now our article . . .
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American gratitude
We bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. But we still have so much to give thanks for.
By Garrison Keillor

Nov. 23, 2005 | Family, friends, good health (knock on wood), lots to be thankful for, including this $1.59 Rollerball pen and its flowing cursive line that makes me feel as elegant as Michel de Montaigne.

Gratitude makes sense for an American. We occupy a bountiful country of great civility (yes, really) and robustness and freedom, and if not the No. 1 Country in the World, nonetheless it has some great stuff, including Lake Superior, the Supreme Court, the Greatest Show on Earth, the Four Tops ("Baby, I Need Your Loving") and the World's Largest Ball of Twine Ever Rolled by One Man (12 feet in diameter) in Darwin, Minn. Cawker City, Kan., claims a bigger one, but it's more oblong and was done by committee.

Truly we should be thankful.

And we do try to be. But the English language is so rich in terms of complaint and insult and groaning and rather sparse in the Exaltation Dept., so the Lord doesn't get praised as He should. Instead, we bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. After all, we're descended from people who considered rejoicing to be bad luck: It tempts fate. So they grumbled about the weather, politicians, children, popular music, new cars, anything modern, and complained about their health year after year until they died and went to heaven, where no doubt they are a little edgy even now -- nice place, paradise -- a little surprised at who else is here, harrumph, harrumph, but never mind -- plenty of bliss, no tears and so forth -- not sure how long it can last, but we shall see.

As for me, I am grateful for the functional. In our home, we are going through a series of malfunctioning coffeemakers that sputter and vomit quarts of hot brown sediment on the kitchen counter and floor, and that makes me grateful for things like this pen, which really is a pleasure.

Or Google, which can bring up 2.3 million references in .03 seconds, none of which sheds light on the subject, but they distract you so that instead of writing about "The Mill on the Floss" by George Eliot, you get interested in dental hygiene.

I'm glad for the E-ticket, which frees us from standing in line at the airline counter so that we can swiftly go stand in line at the security check.

And for the chat room, which frees everyone from inhibitions so that we can find out how much we'd rather not know about other people.

And let us all be thankful for the newspaper, a truly useful object. The press is the watchdog of a free society, and while TV reporters are styling their hair and practicing winsome facial expressions, newspaper reporters are on the phone, knocking on doors, doing the work, holding power accountable. And you read their work and absorb something from it, or not, and then you spread the newspaper out on the floor and it absorbs paint drips, or you pack it in a box around fragile objects, or you roll it up and swat cockroaches, or stuff it into cracks to keep the wind out, or stuff it under the kindling and light the fire -- one simple thing with six distinct uses. Or you can recycle it and it will transcend into cardboard. You can't do that with images on a screen.

These days I am grateful beyond words for a swimming teacher, Alyssa, who is a functional person of a very high order. Twice a week, she takes my sandy-haired, gap-tooth daughter in tow and puts her through her paces. Alyssa is young, blond, brimming with confidence, with broad shoulders and a car horn voice. She hollers, "Kickickickickickkick" and "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO" and the little girl puts her head down and swims for all she's worth. A few months ago, she was timid in the water, like me, and now she is a fish, all thanks to her wonderful teacher, a taskmaster with a sense of humor, who is in the pool with her pupils, unlike the Schwimmfuehrer of my youth who strode alongside the pool and showered us with contempt and ridicule. Alyssa's gift is enormous to us. My daughter gets a taste of discipline and success and this makes me very happy. So much that is dismal and destructive in the world, but for me, the joy of a 7-year-old girl putting on her swim goggles almost makes up for it. Thanks be to God for the teachers of the world.

Happy Thanksgiving.

um, how could he forget the bottom of the bird cage??
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THE REPLAY STORE. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.

Brain Cramps

2005-11-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

BRAIN CRAMPS

On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

The Answer is Salt - Work, Tears, and the Sea

2005-11-24T13:22:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Please visit MY WEBSITE for articles, resources, quotes beautiful holiday music, inspiration and more. And take a look at Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music while you're there, as we'll be cruising on into the holiday season from here.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." (Cicero)

THANKS!

You are listening to Shall We Gather at the River?

Do you love Thanksgiing music? Do you LIVE for Christmas music? Symphonies? Operas? Sonatas? Piano music? Beethovennnn ... Mozart ... Chopin. All music?
If a holiday wouldn’t be a holiday without music, join CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC - DEDICATED TO DR. JOHN J. ALIFANO, JR., TO WHOM MANY PEOPLE OWE THEIR LIVES AND THEIR EDUCATIONS. Click HERE to join.

Brought to you by Susan Dunn, Your EQ Coach.
I am grateful for your support, affirmations, the chance to serve you and the pleasure of your company on our mutual journeys. Thank you for your referrals and for making our EQ Alive! the #1 coach certification program!

We celebrate gratitude in our daily lives.

PRAYER

God, when I have food, help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work, help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a home, help me to remember those who have no home at all;
When I am without pain, me to remember those who suffer,
And remembering,
Help me to destroy my complacency;
and be concerned enough to help;
By word and deed, those who cry out for what we take for granted.

CHECK OUT THIS THANKSGIVING CARD FROM JACQUIE LAWSON

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was 'thank you' that would suffice." Meister Eckhart

"The Pilgrims built 7 times as many graves as they did huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving." H. U. Westermayer

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words; but to live by them." -John F. Kennedy

For more quotes, articles, resources, musics, anticipations of Christmas, tips on enjoying Thanksgiving more, and inspiration, go HERE ( www.susandunn.cc/thanksgiving.htm ).

Thanksgiving, the only remaining holiday we celebrate in the US with no commerical, materialistic overtones. We give thanks, not gifts.

Children and Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T21:06:00.000-08:00

WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN AT THANKSGIVING AND ALL YEAR ROUND?

"How wonderful it would be if we could help our children and grandchildren
to learn thanksgiving at an early age. Thanksgiving opens the doors. It
changes a child’s personality. A child is resentful, negative - - or thankful. Thankful children want to give, they radiate happiness, they draw people."
~ Sir John Templeton
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Email me - sdunn@susandunn.cc - for my special Thanksgiving gift, "Thanks" in words and art. Put "thanks" for subject line.
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ARBONNE BABY PRODUCTS. Your child will be thankful you used it. What we put on our skin is absorbed into our bloodstream. Your baby needs pure ingredients. Allergies start with too-early exposure to toxic substances, and allergies deplete our immune system, our ONLY line of defense against viruses.

Don't Let Allergies Ruin Your Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T14:51:00.000-08:00

DON'T LET ALLERGIES RUIN YOUR THANKSGIVING
Writing this from Dallas, Texas one of the ragweed hotspots of the nation, I'm particularly aware of "allergies" and the havoc they can cause. Here are some facts about allergies:

More than 50 million Americans suffer from allergies. Ragweed pollen is probably he largest single seasonal allergen in North America. It is estimated that one square mile of ragweed plants would release 16 tons of pollen in one season. Even skin contact with ragweed can cause dermatitis.

An allergy is “…a heightened sensitivity to a foreign substance (called n “allergen”) which causes the body’s defense system (the immune system)to overreact when defending itself. Normally, the immune system would only react if a harmful substance such as a bacteria attacked the body. But for people with “allergies,” their own immune system is working too hard and it reacts even when relatively harmless substances such as pollen are present. The severity of an allergic reaction
can vary from mild discomfort to life threatening situations." [Source: www.pollen.com]

Because of this assault on the immune system, it’s crucially important to take supplements that nutritionally support the immune system. You can read about it here: http://tinyurl.com/9jzsf . By the previous definition, you can see that an already assaulted immune system becomes further assaulted with allergens. Our immune system is our health, our first line of defense for bacteria, for instance, and our ONLY line of defense for viruses. While we have antibiotics for bacteria, there is no know cure for a virus, as you know.

2. Prepare ahead of time by getting the necessary information.

Sign up at http://www.pollen.com/Pollen.com.asp and be alerted in the morning of conditions likely to exceed the trigger point, the point where most allergy sufferers will start to experience symptoms.

If you have a website, you can be of service to others. Probably 25% of your website visitors suffer from allergies. At http://www.pollen.com/Pollen.com.asp, you can get the html to put a pollen alert box on your website – either a zip code entry box or for any town in the U.S.

The most extreme allergic reaction is called "anaphylactic shock." Immediately after contact the individual will suffer difficulty breathing, itchiness, welling of the lips and throat, and drop in blood pressure, and finally collapse. If you've ever suffered anaphylactic shock, you should carry injectable adrenaline from your doctor and keep some at home as well. Have the 911 number handy, and seek medical attention immediately.

It’s also important to know that subsequent contact with a particular allergen can be much worse then the first time; for instance, if you’re stung by a bee. Instead of building up “resistance,” you build up “sensitivity.” That's why people talk about their allergies coming on suddenly. Everything’s fine, they’re 30 years old, and one night they have beer and shell fish and end up in the ER. “Out of the blue,” they say.

Likewise, normally innocent foodstuffs such as peanuts, which don’t bother one person can actually kill someone else who’s susceptible. One way to determine what you're allergic to is to see your personal physician.

Allergic conditions include:

(1) Hay fever and allergic asthma. Pollen from grasses, ragweed and trees, mold and dust can all cause respiratory and nasal problems.

(2) Eczema. A special form of skin reaction. Cement dust is
particularly likely to cause this.

(3) Urticaria (itchy hives). Most of us get this from nettles. You can also get this from strawberries, seafood, cheese; it depends.

Once the allergy is established, you must remove the cause or avoid it. Here are some tips:

1. Wear hypoallergenic gloves.

2. Use a filter in the vacuum cleaner to remove dust mite droppings and an air filter on your A/C which you clean often. Also clean the ducts.

3. Remove heavy drapes and bedspreads from the bedroom and replace with blinds. Tear up old carpeting and replace with tile or wood flooring with no area rugs.

4. Keep your immune system built up with a product like Arbonne's DefenseBuilder or rebuild it with Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement.

5. Use protective clothing when handling material such as cement. Use a filter face mask when in dusty areas and when mowing the lawn in high pollen areas.

6. Check food labels for potentially allergenic ingredients such as peanut products, wheat, gluten and corn. Again, an allergy test from your personal physician can alert you to potential problems.

It is extremely important that you avoid irritants such as mineral oil, fragrances of any sort, and impure ingredients in your cosmetics, shaving cream, makeup, and skin lotions. What you put on your skin irritates there, and then is absorbed into your blood stream where it causes further problems. Choose well-researched, dematologist-approved, fragrance and mineral-oil free, scientifically-proven nutritional supplements, cosmetics, lotions and shaving cream.

ARBONNE - HYPO-ALLERGENIC PRODUCTS GOOD TO YOU, AND GOOD FOR YOU

There is some evidence that allergen sensitivity builds from a too-early introduction to certain substances. Consider the generation born in the late 40s that is basically allergic to orange juice because of having been introduced to it in the hospital, virtually at birth since there was no other way to prevent scurvy at the time and it was considered good medicine. No pediatrician these days would recommend you give orange juice, egg white and other things to your child before the age of one year. Continue this prudent and safe care by using only safe baby products for skin and bath. You can find some here.

Living with allergies and allergens is a 24/7 prospect for all of us. You can’t move away from them, and you can’t get rid of them all, so eliminate the offenders that you can since the effect is cumulative, and stay informed.

EQ and Neutraceuticals for your health, http://tinyurl.com/9jzsf . Email for FR** EQ ezine.

Help for the Thaksgiving Meltdown

2005-11-22T05:21:00.000-08:00

Well, the big day is almost here! I just received an article through my list saying you should’ve had it all planned out 10 days before, and that’s past, of course, so – as a former giver of events, and a long-time hostess, chef and bottle-washer for the Thanksgiving Feast, let me help you out!

Be completely traditional. Having just attended several early Feasts at offices I visit, let me assure you, there’s nothing like it. Yes, that deep-fried turkey is great (so I’m told), and some Emeril creation is designer-impressive, but what people love is the same old traditional things, so here goes.

1. Get a frozen Butterball. You can’t beat it. Extensive directions on the label, and also on their website. Everyone wants to help you with your turkey!

2. Stuffing – well, in the south it will be cornbread, and in the north, white bread, but Pepperidge Farm sells them both in packets to which you add chicken broth (buy it in a can, or like I just did – in a box, free range chicken and fat free) . Start by sautéing 1 medium onion and 2 stalks of celery, cubed, in about 2 T. of butter. Then follow the directions on the bad, and add to the sautéed veggies. Add pecans or walnuts if you like, at the end, water chestnuts, whatever strikes your fancy. Raisins I’ve seen! (Plenty of recipes on the Internet.)

3. Mashed potatoes. With that great turkey gravy you can even get by with mashed potato flakes. I saw a woman in the office break room the other day mixing it up right there with nothing but a microwave, and they were great.

4. That green bean casserole. All it takes is opening cans – a can of mushroom sauce, a can of those French onion rings.

5. The pies? Many people buy them frozen, or from Marie Callenders or a caterer, but I encourage you to make your own. It’s a real treat. Pie crust is the easiest thing in the world if you use more shortening than is required, and make the 2-pie crust recipe for just one. Then you don’t have to worry about making the crust on the edges nice and high. Get a can of pumpkin pie mix with the evaporated milk. Grocery stores now batch these items so you don’t have to hunt. For the crust, use the extra dough. Roll it out again and use a cookie cutter to cut out some shapes and place them on top – I use fall leaves!

6. Buy two pints of whipping cream and make your own. Makes all the difference. Recipe on carton. All you need is an electric mixer. Use vanilla in it, nothing else. Far, far better than cool whip. It's those touches that make the difference in your meal.

And now, my two favorite recipes for the sweet potatoes, or yams as they’re called in the south.

SUSAN’S SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE

Bake 3 large yams in the oven at 350 till tender. Test with a knife. When it goes through without resistance, they’re done.

Mash with 4 T. butter, ¾ C. brown sugar, and a dash of cinnamon. Put into a greased casserole. Put marshmallows all over the top. Put back in the oven at serving time until marshmallows are brown, and casserole is heated. You can add raisins and nuts if you like – about ½ cup of each should do it, but we like it plain.

And the piece de resistance (the best part) my Special Topping for Apple Pie. I should add that I fix pumpkin and mincemeat pies, but this apple pie is the one that everyone eats. Instead of putting regular crust on top sprinkle the following on top and bake the usual way.

APPLE PIE TOPPING

1/3 cup butter
¾ cup light brown sugar
¾ cup sifted flour

Cream butter till soft, blend in brown sugar. Mix in flour till mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle these crumbs over the top of the apples.

p.s. If the gravy panics you, I’d don’t recommend you buy the canned or packaged product. Rather shop around town for a caterer that sells it. It will be worth every cent. Likely it’s frozen and you can stop by tonight. If you need help, give me a call - 210-496-0678.

And don't leave out the most important ingredient -- the gratitude!
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Buy ARBONNE'S DEFENSE BUILDER and GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLEMENT. Our immune system is our first line of defense againt bacteria, and our ONLY line of defense against viruses. We can kill bacteria with antibiotics, but there is nothing that kills a virus. Get your immune system up NOW. GO HERE to become a distributor.

2005-11-20T17:35:00.000-08:00

A PRAYER FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING
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From a client ...
"Thank you very much for all the time you spent with me on the phone, and thank you for being so understanding and caring. I can tell that you truly care about people and helping them with their lives." Warmest aloha, M.E.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc or call 210-496-0678.
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The holidays can be excruciating for those who are suffering, in pain, or surviving recent losses. We offer ...

A PRAYER FOR THANKSGIVING FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING

God, make me brave for life;
oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain
as the tree straightens after the rain,
shining and lovely again.

God, make me brave for life;
much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts,
let me rise from sorrow with quiet eyes,
knowing Thy way is wise.

God, make me brave --
Life brings such blinding things
Help me to keep my sight,
help me to see aright
that out of darkness
comes light.
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ARBONNE: Physical healing requires neutraceuticals; we can no longer get the nutrition we need from the food we eat, even "fresh" produce. We recommend Arbonne's DEFENSE BUILDER and GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLEMENT, scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. The immune system is our health, and our ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST VIRUSES. Antibiotics can cure bacteria, but we have no known cure for a virus. Get proactive and build up your immune system now.

It's a good time to become an Arbonne consultant. Click HERE to register. Email for assistance.

The EQ Way to Market Your Business/Services

2005-11-18T15:10:00.000-08:00

LET US HELP YOU MARKET YOURSELF, YOUR BUSINESS, PRODUCTS AND SERVICES WITH EQ

Let's start off with a guest article called "Make Sure Prospepcts Know How You Differ from Other Lawyers and You'll be Miles Ahead of Competitors," by Trey Ryder

Are you the same as all other lawyers? Of course not. But do your prospects and clients know how you're different?

Everything you do to attract new clients and maintain current client relationships should clearly state how you differ from other lawyers.

One of the most important functions of marketing is to emphasize the ways you differ from your competitors. Yet if you interviewed your prospects and clients, they might tell you one lawyer is the same as another.

Everything you do to attract new clients and maintain current client relationships should clearly state how you differ from other lawyers.

Some time back, I heard the marketing director at a large law firm say that her lawyers weren't any different from lawyers at dozens of large firms. If she truly believes that, the firm needs a new marketing director because she just surrendered in the face of her competitors.

No two competing attorneys are exactly the same. No other attorney on the planet has exactly the same education as you. No other lawyer has served the same clients -- or handled the same cases -- as you. No other lawyer has taken the same continuing education classes as you. As a result, no other lawyer will make decisions exactly the way you do.

Whether this makes you liberal or conservative, aggressive or passive, here's the point: Every bit of information and experience that you absorb affects how you provide advice and services to your clients. Your advice and services are not like those provided by any other lawyer. You should promote your uniqueness as one of your major competitive advantages.

Competitive advantages and disadvantages are determined ONLY by what is important to your prospects and clients. If you've been in practice 20 years, you could conclude that your tenure is a considerable competitive advantage. But if your prospects don't
care whether their lawyer has practiced for 20 years or 5 years, it's no advantage at all, at least not to that group of prospects.

Here's your assignment: The positive ways you differ from other lawyers are your competitive advantages. The negative ways you differ are your competitive disadvantages. Identify both so you know your strengths and weaknesses.

Look at the following lists from your prospective clients' point of view. Write down your answers to each question and then label whether you think the answer is an advantage (A), a disadvantage (D), or whether it is neutral (N) in your prospects eyes.

Look first in these areas:

Evaluate your qualifications: Where did you graduate from law school? How long have you practiced law? To which courts are you admitted to practice? Which, if any, certifications have you received? List your professional memberships in bar associations, bar sections, lawyers' groups, and the like.

Evaluate your experience: Overall, how wide or narrow is the area of law in which you practice? What types of cases or problems do you handle? Specifically, what types of cases or problems are you most experienced at handling? Do you have experience in one particular area at which you could be considered an expert? If so, in which area? What specialized skills do you have? Are there any types of cases in your area of the law where you don't have much experience?

Evaluate how you serve clients: What specific services do you provide? How long do clients wait for their case to be resolved? How long does it take you to return phone calls? If a prospect or client needs to see you right away, how soon can he
meet with you? How much do clients typically pay for services? How pleased are clients with the results?

Evaluate the physical environment in which you serve clients: Is your office location convenient for your clients? Can your clients easily find a parking space? Covered or uncovered? Do your clients have to pay to park? Is your complex physically
attractive and inviting? Is your office easy to find and easy to walk to in your complex? Is your office reception area attractive and inviting? Is the furniture comfortable? Are your magazines current? (Recently, I picked up a magazine in a
doctor's reception room that was 11 years old.) Does someone greet your guests and offer them something to drink when they enter your reception area?

Evaluate your office or the room where you meet with clients: Is the furniture comfortable? Is the room neat and orderly? Are the floor and windows clean? Do you sit with clients on the same side of your desk? Do you sit across the desk from clients, allowing the desk to form a barrier between you and your guests? If you use education-based marketing, your educational efforts become a significant competitive advantage.

Evaluate your office procedures when you're involved in client meetings: Do you insist on no interruptions? Do you bar phone calls except in emergencies? Do you give your guests your undivided attention? Do you allow guests enough time to discuss
their problem?

One more important advantage: If you use education-based marketing, your educational efforts become a significant competitive advantage. People who request your educational materials, as well as your existing clients, receive your monthly newsletter. They receive invitations to your seminars. You invite them to call you with their legal questions. And so forth. In this way, the marketing method you choose can be a major competitive advantage that leaves other firms in your dust.

If you think of anything else that distinguishes you from other lawyers, add it to this list.

Your competitive advantages benefit you only if you make them known to your prospects. So start by memorizing the many ways you're different. When you talk with prospective clients, explain your competitive advantages as part of your conversation. Likewise, in your written materials, feature your competitive advantages because those are the reasons prospects Hire you.

TREY RYDER LLC Education-Based Marketing for Lawyers. Lawyer Marketing Advisor http://www.TreyRyder.com Trey Ryder is the Lawyer Marketing Department Sponsor For Jersey Justice. http://www.JerseyJustice.com
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I know there are some things you can apply here to your own business, or anything else you "sell" like yourself for a new job or relationship! EQ means applying emotions and logic to whatever needs attention.

It's what we do. Let us help you market. Consultation, web critique and design, business cards, programs, brochures. What you need to make your business grow.
Call me at 210-496-0678 or mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for procedures and fees.

Cell Phone EQ

2005-11-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

ETIQUETTE? IT REQUIRES EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE
Guest article by D. Ruplinger

Owning a cell phone can be a lot of fun. It's portable, convenient, and is comforting to have when driving alone late at night. But now that there are millions of people who own cell phones, proper cell phone etiquette is becoming a concern.

Owning a cell phone doesn't give a person a right to be rude or inconsiderate of others. It may be okay to take your phone with you and have it on while you are in business settings, with the exception of business meetings, but it's not okay in some social settings.

People in a movie theater aren't going to appreciate it if your cell phone is ringing during a movie. They'll be even moreannoyed if you answer it and talk during the movie. A nice leisurely dinner at a restaurant can be ruined if someone at the table next to you has their phone on and is taking calls. I've even been in church near someone who apparently thought it was okay to take a call during services. I was close enough to hear what was being said and it definitely was not an urgent call.

Yes, sometimes it may be necessary to have your cell phone on even if you are in a restaurant, theater, concert hall, or meeting. In those situations, put the phone on vibrate. If the phone goes off, discreetly check to see who is calling. If it is necessary to talk to the caller, excuse yourself and go to a quiet area out of earshot of the other diners, theater patrons, etc. and return the call.

In some parts of the world wireless phone jamming devices have been installed in public places so that your phone just won't work. In many other places, signs are starting to pop up telling people to turn off their cell phones in both public and private buildings. Not turning off a cell phone can even cost a person money. In New York City, there's a $50 fine for breaking a bylaw that prohibits the use of mobile/cell phones at all indoor performances.

A person can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. If people demonstrate consideration for others there won't be the need for more jamming devices, more "no cell phone" signs, and more laws being passed to fine users who don't obey the "no cell phone" rules. Make sure the voice mail is set up on your phone. Encourage people to leave a message for you if you are not able to answer the phone. Then return the call as soon as you can. But make sure to return the call. Just as it is inconsiderate to take a call in a restaurant or theater, etc. it is also inconsiderate to not return a call in a timely manner.

By D Ruplinger is a featured writer for Http://www.cellphoneshome.com. For more information about cell phones visit http://www.cellphoneshome.com.
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BECOME AN ARBONNE CONSULTANT --- Click HERE. Let me guide you through the process and make it easy for you.

Self Sabotage - Is that You?

2005-11-15T21:04:00.000-08:00

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ARE YOU DOING YOURSELF IN AS ONLY YOU CAN??

There’s a joke circling the Internet right now about a priest, a drunk and an engineer who are facing the guillotine. Each one is asked in turn how he wants to die, face up or face down. The priest is first, and he says “face up” so he can be looking at heaven. Down comes the blade, there’s a hitch and it stops 6” from his neck. Considering it divine intervention, they free him.

Same thing happens with the drunk, who decides to go with a winner and choose what the priest chose. Six inches from his neck it stops, and he’s allowed to go free as well.

Then it’s the engineer’s turn. He’s smart enough to go with a winning strategy as well. As he lies there watching the blade descend, he gets an “ah hah” moment. “I think I know what’s wrong with it,” he cries out in delight. “The cable’s binding right here…”

This joke happens to be a classic illustration of the kind of self-sabotaging we do when we have high IQ, but low EQ (emotional intelligence). EQ, you see, isn’t just about emotions, it’s the interface between emotions and thinking. It’s the kind of skills we have that allow us to make good decisions, have good relationships, and succeed. It may well matter more in life than IQ, as this joke points out so graphically. Here is this brilliant engineer, used to problem-solving mechanical things, who proceeds to use his intellect without really thinking, and gets himself killed … you know, shoots himself in the foot.

Self-sabotage is what we do when we aren’t able to manage the emotions around a situation, or don’t stop and think about the possible consequences of our actions (and actions include words). Like the person who gets reprimanded by the boss and forgets himself and takes a punch.

Who else sabotages themselves?

· The employee who gets lulled around the water cooler at the job and forgets that self-deprecating remarks can and will be used against her.
· The salesman who has the order in his pocket, but can’t quit talking, and proceeds to grab defeat from the jaws of victory.
· The man who’s so nervous on the job interview he giggles, babbles, and spills his coffee all over the interviewer’s desk.
· The impulsive married man who is sexually attracted to someone at work and has an affair with them, and then, to make himself feel better, confesses to his spouse and boss.
· The athlete who lets his temper get the best of him on the court.
· The manager who has the knack of intimidating the employee who needs sensitivity, and placating the employee who needs firmness.
· The student who learns all the material and then clutches when it’s exam time.
· The individual who lets setbacks, rejections and losses send them into a downward spiral of negativity, depression and pessimism.
· The actress who gets stage fright and freezes in fear in front of an audience.
· The worker who sets goals but is too scattered, emotional, and disorganized to carry them out.
· The coach who misreads his athletes, expects too much or too little of them, and tries to motivate by intellect or intimidation alone

Success in all the important things in life requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. The person who knows how to get along, can plan ahead, manage their emotions and those of others, generate options, act with intent, maintain the appropriate degree of sensitivity to their environment, and remain optimistic enough to persevere, will always have the edge. Whether it’s leadership, a better marriage, a promotion, or respect you’re after, the key can be developing your EQ.

The good news is that it can be learned. Just as you continually increase your expertise and academic learning, you can work with a coach or mentor who can explain the competencies to you, help you gain the necessary self-awareness, and give you exercises and feedback. Many people I’ve coached in EQ call it “the missing piece.” However, it’s not something you can just read about. It’s not like memorizing the chemical elements, or listening to a beautiful piece of music and appreciating it, or taking notes at a one-day seminar. It requires identifying the skills, understanding what they look like in use, and then practicing them in real-life situations, with constructive feedback, and practice.

Becoming mindful, and have many choices in your mental, physical, mental and behavioral repertoire will give you the edge. If you find you often turn left when you should’ve turned right, or feel or have been called “clueless,” or you seem stuck and are unable to move forward, why not give it a try? It’s a lot better to be a self-enhancer than a self-saboteur.
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The Result of Panic

2005-11-13T00:22:00.000-08:00

A LUXURY CRUISE WOULD HAVE BEEN CHEAPER

Emotional Intelligence is about the interface between thinking and feeling. If we act on emotion without thinking it through, we have panic, and the decisions aren't always good.

For instance, consider the $236 Million Cruise Ship Deal in an article written by Jonathan Weisman for The Washington Post

It begins ...

"On Sept. 1, as tens of thousands of desperate Louisianans packed the New Orleans Superdome and convention center, the Federal Emergency Management Agency pleaded with the U.S. Military Sealift Command: The government needed 10,000 berths on full-service cruise ships, FEMA said, and it needed the deal done by noon the next day.

The hasty appeal yielded one of the most controversial contracts of the Hurricane Katrina relief operation, a $236 million agreement with Carnival Cruise Lines for three ships that now bob more than half empty in the Mississippi River and Mobile Bay. The six-month contract -- staunchly defended by Carnival but castigated by politicians from both parties -- has come to exemplify the cost of haste that followed Katrina's strike and FEMA's lack of preparation."

The article continues to point out that IF the ships were at capacity with 7,116 evacuees, for six months (which they are not), the price per evacuee would total $1,275 a week (according to calculations by aides to Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.). A seven-day western Caribbean cruise out of Galveston can be had for $599 a person -- and that would include entertainment and the cost of actually making the ship move.

CAN YOU STAND TO READ SOME MORE?

The federal government, which is to say YOU AND ME, would actually save millions of dollars by literally sending the evacuees on a luxurious six-month cruise.

Carnival claims it won't make any money on this - not any more that it would have if it had kept the ships in regular service.

Apparently Sealift Command had bids from 13 ships, but only 4 met FEMA requirements, and get the requirements -- full meal service, between-meal snacks, linen and maid service, medical support, even prescription refills. (3 of the 4 were owned by Carnival.)

Wouldn't you think the evacuees could be helping with some of the "service"? Just a thought.

But the evacuees aren't stupid, and here's another reason why -- the ships aren't full because many evacuees "saw the ships as a dead end, far away from any job or potential new life."

At the peak, the ships were nearly full, but now there are 625 on the Ecstasy (capacity 2,544), and 820 aboard the Sensation (capacity 2,579). The Holiday has 342 aboard.

If you would like to read the full article, and/or email it to a friend, go here.
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Were You the First Born?

2005-11-11T21:11:00.000-08:00

WHAT'S YOUR BIRTH ORDER?

There are lots of things that influence our emotional lifestyle and personality. One of them is birth order. I used to listen to some cousins debate who "had it worse" -- the oldest, the youngest, the one in between.have debates with my cousins about "which was worse." Each birth order has its plusses and minuses, and its consequences. Take the Birth Order Predictor and see what you think.

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

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Who Can You Trust?

2005-11-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

WE PLACE THE MOST TRUST IN THE PERSON WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO DECEIVE US

"Love, Lies, Betrayal, And Deceit - Why Do We Lie To Those We Love?" by Timothy Cole

Why do husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, lie to each other?

Our romantic relationships are seldom what they seem. We all want a relationship that is built on openness, intimacy, and trust, but the truth is, our relationships do not always work that way. More often than not, our intimate relationships involve secrecy and deceit. In fact, if you want to look for deception and betrayal in your own life, the best place to start is close to home. Husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, often lie about their true feelings for each other, the feelings they have for others, and their level of commitment. Indeed, it is safe to say that people save their biggest and most serious lies for those they love.

For better or worse, our romantic relationships are full of paradoxes which we try to overlook, downplay and ignore. For the most part, this strategy works well. Until the day comes when it doesn't, and with little warning or preparation we have to confront face-on the reality that our close relationships are not exactly what they appear to be.

Eventually, almost everyone will catch a spouse or partner in one of their lies. Inevitably, we have a difficult time coping with what we have learned and dealing with the fact that someone close has betrayed our trust. We do not expect our partners to mislead us, nor do we have insight into how and why deception occurs.

In fairness, it should also be mentioned that it is just as likely that a partner or spouse will catch you in one of your own attempts to deceive. And ironically, we are just as unprepared to deal with this kind of situation.

Ignoring the paradoxes inherent in our romantic relationships turns out to be a costly strategy and most people pay the price for this decision, unexpectedly, and all at once. It's not so much that coming to terms with the use of deception in romantic relationships will solve all of the problems you are going to encounter, but it will certainty help to reduce the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty that occur when deception eventually comes to light.

In fact, when it comes love and romance, most of the things we believe, are not true. Most people believe that all of their marital or relational problems can be solved through "communication." We believe that deception is difficult to achieve, that misleading a partner requires a lot of effort and thought, and that romantic partners can tell when a lover is lying, and so on. None of these widely held beliefs, however, are supported by the evidence. Rather, our romantic relationships are held together by a delicate balance of both candor and deceit. And both are critical to making our intimate relationships work.

In reality, romantic relationships entail two important features which allow deception to flourish: abundant opportunity, as well as the need to deceive. As we get close to another person, we intentionally and unintentionally provide them with a great deal of information about who we are, revealing ourselves through both our words and deeds. Creating this kind of intimacy or shared knowledge is critical, as it serves as the foundation for a lot of important rewards. Through our close relationships, we create gains with respect to our health, wealth, and emotional well-being.

Because relationships provide so many important rewards, it should come as no surprise that people are inclined to view their romantic partners in a positive light. We place a lot of trust in our romantic partners. We think we know them well. But while our trust surely provides us with a sense of security and comfort, it also lays the ground for deceit. For as we trust our partners more, we also become more confident but less accurate at determining when the truth is being told.

Every relevant study attests to the fact that lovers are terrible at telling when their partners are lying. In fact, detecting deception with anyone is difficult to do, but lovers manage to take this general failure to a spectacular low. Again, as we become more confident that we can tell when a lover is lying, the exact opposite turns out to be true. This "truth-bias" or "blind faith" provides the perfect opportunity for romantic partners to engage in deception. After all, who makes a better victim than someone who is eager and willing to trust everything you have to say?

Not only do close relationships create a wonderful opportunity for deception to occur, they also create the need. While romantic relationships offer many rewards, they also tend to be overly constrictive. Most everyone has felt the constraints of a close relationship from time to time; quite simply you are no longer free to do what you want, when you want, and with whom you want. So intimacy provides tremendous rewards, but at an enormous cost - the loss of your freedom and autonomy.

Lying to a romantic partner helps us deal with the constraints that our intimate relationships impose. Quite frankly, deceiving a romantic partner turns out to be the most efficient and effective way of maintaining the rewards we get from our romantic relationships while pursuing extra-relational goals and activities behind a partner's back.

How do we decide when to lie and when to tell the truth? Well, most of the time we do not intentionally think about misleading our partners. Rather such decisions are governed by our emotions and just seem to happen when the right situation presents itself. Often a sense of excitement, opportunity, and exhilaration can lead us down paths we had no intention of traveling. A sense of fear, loss, and trepidation, on the other hand, prompt us to cover-up what we've done and be more conservative in the short-term. Luckily our emotions are very good at reading situations and keeping our deceptive behavior within limits. Our emotions prompt us to regain some of our freedoms while also allowing us to maintain the benefits we get from our intimate relationships.

When you take a step back and put it altogether, the picture that emerges tends to be rather ironic. Because our romantic relationships are so rewarding yet constrictive, we are simultaneously more truthful and more deceptive with those we love. Additionally, we place the most trust in the person who is most likely to deceive us, just as we are most likely to deceive the person who loves and trusts us the most. These are just a few of the paradoxes that emerge when taking a close look at the use of deception in our romantic relationships. Most of what is uncovered runs counter to our most cherished beliefs about love and romance; that is, the idea that complete openness and intimacy are a central and defining feature of being in love.

Initially most people avoid looking for deception by a loved one. But as you begin to examine your own behavior more closely it becomes harder to dismiss the degree to which lies, betrayal, secrecy and deceit are ever present in our close relationships. Hopefully, you will take on a greater appreciation for the complexities of your relationships as well as a richer understanding of what it means to be in love.

Regardless of the final outcome, taking a close look at deception in your life will change the way you view yourself and others.

About The Author: Article by Timothy Cole, PhD. For more information on how, when, and why husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, lie to those they love, visit Truth about Deception.com at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com

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Thanksgiving Dinner Etiquette

2005-11-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

THANKSGIVING DINNER ETIQUETTE

The days of dining by plucking fruit from trees and roasting small animals over the fire, eating with fingers, and perhaps fighting with others over the scraps are long gone. Or are they?

More and more we swing our car through the drive-in, grab our food from the window, and proceed to eat with our fingers, so perhaps you need a brush-up on the basics of formal – shall we say “civilized” dining – before the great Thanksgiving feast.

Rules of civilized dining evolved because, according to Margaret Visser (“Rituals of Dinner”), “animals are slaughtered and consumed, the guest-host relationship is … a complicated interweaving of the imposition of obligation and the suspension of hostility, and the ordinary table knife is related to actual weapons of war.”

Utensils were to be handled delicately, so as not to alarm. For instance, the knife was not to be held in the fist, like a weapon, nor pointed threateningly at anyone, and conversation was to be gentle, not provocative.

Now for a review of the basics on how to be the consummate Thanksgiving guest.

1. Respect time.

Arrive on time with a smile on your face and plan to have a good time. Leave on time. If it hasn’t been stated, you will have to use your EQ—your intuition. Watch the host (generis) for subtle cues – the more formal the occasion, the more subtle the cues, i.e., changing position in his chair, sighing, and talking about “what a big day we have tomorrow.” As you say you must leave, expect protesting, and expect to leave anyway. It’s a “formality.”

2. Wear your uniform. Do your job.

Yes, as the guest you have responsibilities. Dress appropriately and festively, and prepare to make it a happy occasion. Note “make.” It doesn’t just happen; those in attendance must make it happen. Eat, drink and behave in moderation.

3. When summoned, obey the summons.

As a long-time PR person, you can’t imagine how we appreciate the “leader type” who, when we say, “It’s time to take you seats,” heads for the dining room and beckons her friends to come along; and when the hostess says, “Shall we retire to the living room for coffee,” does the same.

4. Observe protocol.

Age before rank. “Special” people would be the great-grandmother, then if you’ve invited your boss, or there’s a guest of honor. The most special person “sitteth on the right hand” of the host and hostess, who are seated at opposite ends of the table. If there are not place cards, it’s appropriate to ask, “Where would you like us to sit?”

5. Once seated, stay awake!

Look to your hostess to lead. At this meal even the most unsuspecting people will say a grace, for instance. The hostess will indicate when to start passing things, and when she starts to eat, you may eat. Facilitate the meal for others – start passing the shared items, the salt and pepper (both), the butter, the cranberry sauce, and the gravy.

6. The passing of things.

If your plates are served, then when someone asks for the salt, pick up both the salt and pepper and place them down beside the person next to you. They are not passed hand-to-hand, and only the requesting party may use them. Inefficient? Manners are not about efficiency.

7. Make conversation.

It’s an active thing! At a smaller seating, there may be one general conversation; in a larger group, talk with the people across from you and on either side of you. If you’re conversation-challenged, work with your coach and come up with a list of conversation-starters, i.e., Did you see that great special on PBS last night? What are your plans for Christmas this year? How was the traffic at the airport? What football team are you rooting for? Start training your children young. Help them come up with a list of things to talk about. They’ll love it and feel included.

Your hostess will appreciate if you keep the conversation going, spend some time with the shy people or the octogenarian, and help with awkward silences. At formal dinners, businesses lunches and other dining occasions traditionally when the food is served, everyone starts eating and there’s a silence. Someone needs to “break the ice.” Plan for this and be prepared with a confident and cheery, “It sure gets quiet when the food comes,” or “Marcella, where did you find fresh arugula this time of year?”

8. What about all those utensils and glasses?

The general rule is work from the outside in. Go here to review: http://www.cuisinenet.com/digest/custom/etiquette/manners_intro.shtml

9. Beginnings and endings.

The napkin. When you’re seated, place your napkin in your lap. When you’re finished, place your utensils on your plate; don’t push it away. Place your napkin loosely to the side of your plate.

10. Odds ‘n’ Ends

Sit upward in your chair; don’t lean back. Don’t rest your elbows on the table. It’s permissible to lean forward slightly and rest part of your upper arm on the table. If you take medication, do it discretely and neither mention it nor notice it in others. Something in your mouth you don’t want? The way in is the way out. Spit the olive pit into your palm and place it on your plate. Deposit the turkey bone back on the fork and place in on your plate.

What can you eat with your fingers? Artichokes, plain asparagus, bacon, bread, cookies, corn on the cob, chips, French Fries, hors’ d’oeuvres, sandwiches, small fruits, berries, and cubed cheese. When in doubt, wait and see what your hostess does.
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Foods That Protect the Brain from Aging

2005-11-05T15:19:00.000-08:00

BRAIN POWER, THAT'S WHAT WE LOVE! LASTING BRAIN POWER.

So you develop your emotional intelligence, you take a good dietary supplement, you work out ... what else can you do?

Eat these things, according to an article on msn.today from Psychology Today:

"Some edibles are especially good at protecting the brain’s delicate nerve cells and blood vessels from the damage that accompanies aging," the article says. "Most of them squelch free radicals, the renegade oxygen molecules spun off as the brain goes about the business of the mind. Most of the foods that are smartest for the brain are also good for the heart because both rely on a steady oxygen supply. The risks for cardiovascular disease correlate with risks for cognitive decline."

Number One on the list is BLUEBERRIES.

Sweet wild blueberries are bursting with antioxidants, which mop up nasty free radicals. Studies of rats show that a blueberry-rich diet improves memory and motor skills and reverses age-related declines in balance and coordination. Chemicals in blueberries affect the contractile machinery of arteries, and therefore have a good affect on blood pressure. Elevated blood pressure can damage delicate blood vessels in the brain and can lead to strokes.

Others making the top ten are dark leafy greens, salmong, sardines and herring, spinach, red wine, whole grain and brown rise, hot cocoa, nuts, particularly almonds and walnuts, garlic, and olive oil.

FOR THE WHOLE ARTICLE, GO HERE: http://articles.health.msn.com/id/100108099

Goals, Missions, Plan and Purpose Are Worthless without EQ

2005-11-04T20:17:00.000-08:00

DEPRESSING, ISN'T IT?

Discovering Your Life Purpose - An Overview
Copyright 2005 So-lu'shunz Management Services

When you look in the mirror, do you see a purposeful,productive, satisfied human being looking back at you, or do you see someone who's caught in the grind, moving on
autopilot, and not having much fun in the process?

How long has it been since you opened your eyes in the morning with a sense of anticipation, yes and even excitement? If you haven't felt that sense of wonder and
expectancy since you were a child, you're not alone, read on!

If this sounds familiar, you're probably also wondering why you're here, whether there is a purpose or if you're an accident? Is there something you should be doing with your life that you're missing? How will you know? And how in heaven's name should you go about it?

Life with a plan is the answer. You're may be thinking, "Oh, no, not that, not another plan!" Ah, but this is a grand plan, one you can truly live by, a freeing plan, not another system to be bound to. This plan works for you not on you!

Today we're introducing the concepts of PURPOSE, MISSION, VISIONS & GOALS. These terms are often confused and mistakenly used interchangeably, when in reality they're
very different, though definitely linked. An understanding of their meanings and the part they play in moving us forward is vital to getting us back to that place of
excitement and anticipation we knew as children.

PURPOSE & MISSION

These two terms are often used interchangeably, but what appears to be a subtle difference is significant to your success. The simple difference is that purpose is what you're made for and mission is what you're meant to do about it.

Each of us has a purpose, a reason we were created. Discovering what that is unlocks our greatest potential and catapults us forward into our destiny.

Mission, from the Latin mittere to send, is the beginning of the adventure. Once we know our purpose for existing in the first place, we can begin the process of discerning our destiny, what we're meant to do about it.

No one is here without purpose and each of us has a mission we are meant to live out. Everyone has sensed at some time that they were meant to be or do something bigger than themselves, a reason for living beyond just getting by. No one is a mistake. Whether you know it or are even able to grasp it, you're here right now, at this particular point in history, for a reason.

No one on earth, from one end of time to another can fill your spot exactly the way you can. You are unique. Even the marks of your fingertips are unlike any that ever were or ever will be again; you're "fearfully and wonderfully made" according to the Book of Psalms. If your very fingerprints bespeak such uniqueness, how much more your purpose for existing!

Once you are certain of your purpose, discovering your mission is an adventure in itself, a journey into the realm of your gifts and talents, a look at what excites you and where your passions lie. It's uncovering and examining those markers that have been there all along pointing the way to the answer to the major questions of your life.

VISIONS

Webster defines vision as the act or power of imagination; mode of seeing or conceiving. It is engaging the mind in conceptualizing. And it's a great activity for the porch swing, walking through the forest preserves, or floating in a boat, loosely attached to a fishing pole.

Visions are the pictures of what you will do about your discovered mission, your reason for being here. If mission is the hub of the wheel, then visions are the spokes. Visions are a lot like oil paintings, colorful, detailed, diverse and they come in all sizes and styles.

They all have in common that they begin as a dream in the mind of an artist and they only appear on canvas when they have become life size on the inside of the visionary and they simply must manifest! When the vision is so real on the inside that you find you can almost operate from within it, it's time to make a path for it into the physical world (see the author's article, Birthing Your Dream).

GOALS

It's at this point that goals come into the plan. According to Webster, one of the synonyms for goal is design, which implies a carefully calculated plan. Goals
are where the rubber meets the road.

You may be thinking "oh no, not more goals. I get goals at work, goals at home, on the school board, from the Chamber of Commerce. No more goals!" But this is where the artist begins preparation to bring the dream to life on canvas; building the frame, stretching the canvas, applying the gesso, choosing and mixing the paints, drawing preliminary sketches. Each step in the process is necessary; each step
pointedly bringing him closer to the realization, in living color, of what until now has been alive and vibrant only in his mind's eye.

It's at this point that she begins the visible work. The rest has been an inner exercise, a function of the mind and heart. Designing goals involves doing the research getting out the slide rule, making the Gantt chart, doing the sketches, calculating the cost. But by this time the vision is so real and the visionary is so ready to burst with it, that the goals are no chore, but a welcome means by which to deliver the dream.

It's only when we confuse the process, mixing up the terms, trying to do them out of order that life becomes a chore. Discover your purpose and your mission, begin to create your visions and design well-crafted goals to support them and bring them to pass and before long you'll be the enthusiastic kid in the mirror again, eager to get out and make a giant splash in the world!

About the Author:

Karin Syren is a certified coach specializing in the EffectivenessCoaching process. She has helped leaders at all levels to increase their personal and professional
effectiveness by guiding them through the process of learning to do less and be more. Gain, regain and maintain control of your life direction and sign up for the FREE introductory DISCOVERING YOUR PURPOSE & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT teleclass, http://www.solushunz.com/pages/3/index.htm .
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NOW THE ONLY THING THAT CAN KEEP YOU FROM YOUR GOAL IS SELF-SABOTAGE and that's where Emotional Intelligence comes in. Despite the sense of purpose and mission, best laid plans, and vision, if you haven't learned emotional intelligence, and can't manage the emotions around it, you will self-sabotage. Take THE EQ ALIVE! PROGRAM. It's rated #1 on EQ.org. It's simple. It works. It's the missing piece.

GO HERE TO CREATE YOUR PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT.
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Does emotion belong in the workplace?

2005-11-03T23:22:00.000-08:00

EQ FOUNDATION PROGRAM, starting at $199 for individuals. Includes 12 simple modules on the Internet. No memorizing. Nothing to do. Workbook and email support included. Order now.

Does emotion belong in the workplace? Tom Peters, Fast Company, thinks so.

"Leaders wear their passion on their sleeve. There's absolutely no question in my mind: Leaders dream in Technicolor. They see the world in brighter colors, sharper images, and higher resolution. Leadership, in the end, is all about having energy, creating energy, showing energy, and spreading energy. Leaders emote, they erupt, they flame, and they have boundless (nutty) enthusiasm. And why shouldn't they? The cold logic of it is unassailable: If you do not love what you're doing, if you do not go totally bonkers for your project, your team, your customers, and your company, then why in the world are you doing what you're doing? And why in the world would you expect anybody to follow you?" --Tom Peters, FAST COMPANY
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Resentful?

2005-11-01T07:36:00.000-08:00

Get Rid of Resentments - A Fast, Easy Technique
Author: Rosella Aranda
As human beings, we have a remarkable capacity for recalling events with startling clarity.

Unfortunately, we tend to misuse this ability by focusing on the negative events of our lives. We replay these events over and over again, complete with sight, sound, smells, color and emotional intensity.

What a brilliant capability...and so disastrously applied.

With morbid fascination, we continually replay these events. We end up cementing all that hostility into our minds and flooding our energy with so much negative expectation. And thus we set ourselves up to receive yet more of the same.

This mental rehashing is what the French call "ressentiment"literally "re-feeling." And it is the root of the English word "resentment."

By recalling these hurtful events, often with even greater intensity and rancor than the original event, we unwittingly convince ourselves that we are unworthy of anyone's love and respect, even our own.

The downward spiral of fear and doubt and low self-worth that ensues is devastating. And unfortunately automatic. This snowballing effect continues unless we actively step in to melt down the original cause.

WE NEED TO INITIATE A MELTDOWN

So how do we shut down this masochistic theater?

If you find that gnawing resentments arise with different people and different situations on a regular basis, you need to own up to the fact that the seeds of the problem lie within you and not the entire rest of the world.

In this case, some thorough mental self-examination is in order. If you need to enlist the aid of outside help, so be it. You do not have to go through life with a chip on your shoulder. Nor do you need to be a doormat. There is a pleasant middle ground. I urge you to discover it.

But let's assume for the moment that you are simply dealing with an isolated case of an annoying person or situation that keeps cropping up in your mind causing you anguish.

Here's a neat little trick that will banish ugly resentful thoughts and carry some nice boomerang effects as well.

SLAM 'EM WITH A METAPHYSICAL SNOWBALL!

Take your hands and form an invisible ball of energy. Move your hands about just as if you were making a snowball. This doesn't take long at all.

Intend to make the "snowball" bigger, more tightly compacted with pure energy. (Remember, you're not the one creating the energy. You're simply being a vehicle. This requires almost no effort on your part, only your solid intention.)

Now that you have a nice ball of pure energy, mentally throw it at the person in question. (I actually use my arm to hurl it.)

See the energy ball hit him or her and explode into a mass of wonderfully charged currents of energy, making the person feel suddenly terrific and smiling...and totally unconcerned about you.

That's it. That's all there is to it. Now I can't really explain why this transfer of energy releases the snowball maker from thoughts of bitterness. And it doesn't really matter. It is enough that it works, yes?

Give this a try. I think you'll be amazed.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rosella Aranda, international marketer and writer, helps entrepreneurs escape harmful subconscious programming and boost their self-esteem to achieve emotional freedom. Be sure and grab your free 4-part mini course today! http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/go/Aresent
For kind encouragement and solid motivation, climb aboard... http://calling-all-entrepreneurs.com/go/t.cgi?AresentZ
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Photograph: Corporal Tunnel Photostream @ Flickr.com
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Your Halloween EQ Test

2005-10-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

WORKING WITH A BUNCH OF STRAW MEN, SQUASH-HEADS, AND WITCHES?
GETTING BULLIED? TRY SOME EQ COACHING. WE HAVE ANSWERS!
ANGRY?
SAD?
EQ IN JACK-O-LANTERN LAND

EMOTIONAL INTEL- LIGENCE ... IT'S ABOUT WAYS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE WORK BETTER. MOST PEOPLE SAY "IT'S THE MISSING PIECE" AND THAT IT TRANSFORMS THEIR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE.

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What profession has the highest EQ?

2005-10-26T17:41:00.000-07:00

CHECK OUT THE EQ RESEARCH FROM INDIA:

TABLE 4.1 I can't do a table, so read it this way please,

Rank, Name of Profession, Average EQ Score,

1.Artist (dance, drama) 290, Extremely high
2 Insurance (officers of companies) 285 Extremely high 17.5
3 Advertisement (managers of agencies) 285 Extremely high 11.5
4 Social work 285 Extremely high 31.8
5 Teaching 280 High 23.5
6 Legal 260 High 8.9
7 Tourism 255 High 14.6
8 Politics 255 High 8.2
9 Business/
Entrepreneurship 255 High 16.8
10 Police 250 High 26.7
11 Judiciary 245 Average 5.5
12 Administration 215 Average 7.4
13 Information Technology 210 Average 11.6
14 Medicine 210 Average 14.5
15 Banking 200 Average 23.4
16 Engineering 200 Average 7.3
17 Accountancy 195 Average 27.9
18 Nursing 185 Average 14.0

Do you think it would be the same in the US? He points out that a highly structured job, with rules you can't vary from, requires less EQ to be successful at.

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Happy Halloween!

2005-10-25T20:23:00.000-07:00

OH THE WONDER OF IT ALL

It's a good time to see things from a child's eyes. It's an odd celebration, Halloween. Originally to celebrate the harvest, and also worship or pay reverence to the dear-departed. By one theory candy was put out to attract children, because ... I think children were needed! Aren't they always! They're out life, and our future, and our joy.

Take care of the little ones this Halloween. Don't scare them too much!

An EQ point -- when feelings are running high, we can't think clearly. Remember they'll be excited (and quite possibly high on suge) which means you need to stress the safety rules and go over them beforehand, before the celebration begins.
1. Supply costumes that are safe - fire retardant, no hems to trip on
2. Many children are fascinated by fire so watch them around candles and jack-o-lantersn
3. No masks that obscure vision
4. Stay with the group
5. Stop look and listen for cars
6. Don't eat anything until it's been checked out by a parent
7. If something's too scary, just say no!
8. Not all dogs are friendly
9. When it's over, it's over (great lifeskill is learnin when to stop and when to start, yes?

The Opera Librettists

2005-10-25T20:06:00.000-07:00

HOW TO SING THE SONG OF THE UNSUNG HEROES

This article is for you if you’re a behind-the-scenes kind of person – the admin assistant who gets the presentation ready for the guys in marketing but doesn’t get to go to the meeting; the PR pro who writes all their speeches and answers all the complaint letters for the president or CEO; the at-home mother who makes sure the concert pianist practices; the deputy chief whose job description is doing all the things the chief doesn’t like to do or can’t do; or the paralegal who prepares all the pleadings, knows all the codes, and does all the licking and stamping.

Temistocle Solear, Antonio Ghislanzoni, Henri Meilhac, Jules Barbier, Michael Carre, Guiseppe Giacosa, Luigi Illica, Renato Semoni, and Nicola Haym all know what this is like.

Who on earth are these people??

Well even if you’re not an opera fan, I bet you’ve heard of the composers Verdi, Bizet, Mozart, Gounod, Handel, Donizetti and Puccini, and some of their operas – Aida, Carmen, Cosi fan Tutte, Madame Butterfly, Faust, and Don Giovanni, for instance.

Did you know that these composers wrote the music for their operas but not the lyrics? Solear, Ghislanzoni and the other individuals in the list are what’s called “librettists.” It is they who wrote the words to the music that tell the story, without which you would be listening to a symphony, not an opera. And we never hear their names!

They’re called “librettists” because the words to the songs, which basically comprise the script of the opera, is called a “libretto.” It’s Italian for little book.

Like Gilbert and Sullivan, the pairs worked together. The inimitable Richard Wagner was the only one to compose all his operas entirely by himself, creating both music and lyrics, which may account for why they are so powerful, so “Wagnerian.”

This is quite a feat because composing music and writing words require different parts of the brain.

Sometimes the composer and librettist met in person, while other times the work was done by correspondence. Strauss worked exclusively with one librettist, after writing his own lyrics for his first opera and finding out he wasn’t good at it, but most other composers switched around, finding the right librettist for the job, or one who was available. It’s not unlike the way a lot of us work these days – long distance and by contract.

Again, grasp the significance of the work these unsung heroes did. The words are so integral to the opera they are never translated. Subtitles run across the big screen on stage, or the little screen on the chair in front of yours at the opera. We read them in our native tongue while they are sung on stage in the original German, Italian, or French. (For aficionados, anyway. Beginners may enjoy translations, such as The Chandos Opera In English series, which translates the lyrics into English.)

What an incredible collaboration an opera is. It takes costume designers as well, because an opera is as much visual as it is auditory. The Grand Opera is known for its elaborate sets and costumes. In “Turandot,” when the mob turns surly and the moon appears, she is personified and costumed in a magnificence dominated the stage for what seems like half an hour, that will keep you transfigured.

One opera I hope to see one day is Verdi’s “Aida,” excuse me, Verdi and Ghislanzoni’s “Aida” at the Bath of Caracalla in Rome, where the Triumphal March of Rhadames features live elephants and horses on stage. Now that’s entertainment!

What we don’t see at an opera is the orchestra, perhaps the most important element of all. They’re listed in the program, of course, and given their bows at the curtain calls, but we only hear them, seated down below in the orchestra pit as they are.

Many elements go together to produce the opera we see that bears the name of one man only. Take “Turandot” for instance. It was librettist Semoni who gave Puccini the suggestion for the opera in the first place, telling about “Turandotte,” a play written by Gozzi, based on a fable from the Arabian Nights.

Puccini had been searching for two years for a suitable plot for an opera, and at the age of 61 began “Turandot,” instructing his librettists, Adami and Semoni to “pour great pathos into the drama.” Puccini was known, incidentally for being extremely demanding, requiring endless rewrites from his librettists.

From his point of view however, the librettists were difficult. We can read his letters begging them to do their work. He wrote frantically to Simoni, in charge of Act III, “The third! The third! The third!”

At one point, he confessed to a friend “Music disgusts me…”, as he evidently had periods of self-doubt and composer’s block. Toscanini paid him a visit and gave him the encouragement to keep going.

Puccini was justified in urging completion of the opera as he died before the team had completed the third act. The collaboration continued on, as Toscanini found a composer named Franco Alfano, whose name is rarely mentioned, to complete it, and the world premier took place on April 25th, 1926, the work of one guiding genius and many hands, hearts and minds.

It isn’t that teamwork and collaboration is new, it’s that it’s newly being recognized. Most of us realize we couldn’t accomplish anything alone, while those behind the scenes who work long and willing hours, long for some recognition. Appreciation, after all, is what tops the surveys when employees talk about what they want at their job, and it’s so consistently there, it’s a wonder it isn’t heeded more.

Ricahrd Montuori, town manager of Bellica, Massachusetts, knows and appreciates his team. “I love [my] job,” he said a newspaper interview. “Every day is different and presents new challenges. Finances are a daily and yearly challenge, but no one person ever accomplishes anything alone. We have excellent department heads and town boards that help keep the town moving in the right direction.”

Isn’t it nice to hear someone publicly acclaim the team that makes him shine? I hope your boss or manager does this for you, and that if you’re the boss or manager, you appreciate and acknowledge – and sing – the unsung heroes in your midst.

But how do you praise everyone? There are always so many.

Here’s a leadership trick I learned from a pro. At the culmination of an anniversary banquet, engineered by many, and funded by many more, the director of the benefited-agency rose and thanked “everyone who helped make it possible to raise the $50,000.” Then he added, looking around the room, “And I’d especially like to thank someone whose name I won’t mention, but they will know who I mean.”

I thought it was me! So did a dozen other people, I’m sure, and that was what the director had in mind, he told me later when I asked him whom he had in mind, because his glance around the room was professionally ambivalent.

It works, and it’s always, always true.
================

"My music is so often like a lullaby I write to myself o make sense of things I can't tie together, or things I've lost, or things I'll never have." -Stephans

You love music. It soothes the savage beast! Let me send you my delicious gourmet selection -- once a week to your email inbox, FR**. All you have to do is click and listen .. to some of the finest music in the world through time and space from the beauty in me to the beast in you. Club VIVO PER LEI/I LIVE FOR MUSIC. Click HERE to join. It's free, of course. My way of giving back. (While you’re there, enjoy Schumann’s Abegg Variations.)

Finnegan is Rescued!

2005-10-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

FINNEGAN HAS BEEN RESCUED AND ITS ONE OF THE SWEETEST STORIES AROUND!

WHEN LIFE GETS COMPLICATED, PEACE IS STILL REALIZABLE IN SIMPLE PLACES, A DEEP BREATH, AND IN THE HEARTS OF KIND PEOPLE ...

Read the story here.

What's New in Science

2005-10-25T13:06:00.000-07:00

WINNERS OF THE IGNOBLE PRIZE

#1I FEEL SICK, I MUST BE IN LOVE

Three Italian (what a surprise) chemists Marazziti, Rossi, and Cassano who investigated romance, along with their colleague Akiskal, found that biochemically, romantic love may be indistinguishable from having severe obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)!*

The main finding of their study was that subjects in the early romantic phase of a love relationship had the same density of of the platelet 5-HT transporter as OCD patients, considerably lower than in those not afflicted. "madly in love lately," it sure can feel like "an affliction."

FOR THEIR WORK THEY WERE AWARDED THE IG® NOBEL PRIZE

The Ig® Nobel Prizes are awarded annually by "The Annals of Improbable Research," a scientific journal dedicated to celebrating the unusual, honoring the imaginative, and spurring interest in science, medicine, and echnology.

LISTEN TO THE NPR CLIP FROM THE CEREMONY HERE. Three Nobel prize laureates karaoke the inventor of the karaoke machine at the end of the 2004 ceremony at Harvard with "You're just too good to be true."

Here are the 2004 winners:

MEDICINE A/K/A IT IS REALLY THAT BAD/

Steven Stack and James Gundlach for their published report "The Effect of Country Music on
Suicide." PUBLISHED IN: Social Forces, vol. 71, no. 1, September 1992, pp. 211-8.

"The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, southernness, poverty, and gun availability."

PHYSICS A/K/A THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW
Ramesh Balasubramaniam and Michael Turvey, for exploring and explaining the dynamics of hula-hooping. REFERENCE: "Coordination Modes in the Multisegmental Dynamics of Hula Hooping," Ramesh Balasubramaniam and Michael T. Turvey, Biological Cybernetics, vol. 90, no. 3, March 2004, pp. 176-90.

PUBLIC HEALTH A/K/A/ AND AT 6 SECONDS ...?

Jillian Clarke of the Chicago High School for Agricultural Sciences, and then Howard University, for investigating the scientific validity of the Five-Second Rule about whether it's safe to eat food that's been dropped on the floor. (no link available)

CHEMISTRY A/K/A I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I DON'T LIKE BOTTLED WATER!

The Coca-Cola Company of Great Britain, for using advanced technology to convert ordinary tap water into href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/story/0,3604,1174127,00.html">Dasani, a transparent form of water, which for precautionary reasons has been made unavailable to consumers.

"First, Coca-Cola's new brand of "pure" bottled water, Dasani, was revealed earlier this month to be tap water taken from the mains. Then it emerged that what the firm described as its "highly sophisticated purification process", based on NASA
spacecraft technology, was in fact reverse osmosis used in many modest domestic water purification units. "Yesterday, just when executives in charge of a £7m marketing push for the product must have felt it could get no worse, it did precisely that.

The entire UK supply of Dasani was pulled off the shelves because it has been contaminated with bromate, a cancer-causing chemical." (Reported in "The Guardian")

ENGINEERING A/K/A YOU CAN PATENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS??

Donald J. Smith and his father, the late Frank J. Smith, of Orlando Florida, for patenting the combover (U.S. Patent #4,022,227).

"A method of styling hair to cover partial baldness using only the hair on a person's head. The hair styling requires dividing a person's hair into three sections and carefully folding one section over another." (IF ONLY THERE WERE ILLUSTRATION & PHOTOS!)

LITERATURE A/K/A I HOPE THIS WASN'T GOVERNMENT FUNDED

The American Nudist Research Library of Kissimmee, Florida, (located on the grounds of the Cypress Cove Nudist Colony!)
for preserving nudist history so that everyone can see it.

PSYCHOLOGY A/K/A THIS ONE IS PLAIN OUT SCARY ...

Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris for demonstrating that when people pay close attention to something, it's all too easy to overlook anything else -- even a woman in a gorilla suit. REFERENCE: "href="http://viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/media/ig.html">Gorillas in Our Midst," Daniel J. Simons and Christopher F. Chabris, vol. 28, Perception, 1999, pages 1059-74.
DEMO: href="http://viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/media/ig.html">http://viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/media/ig.html

ECONOMICS A/K/A NO COMMENT

The Vatican, for href="http://sify.com/news/othernews/fullstory.php?id=13498514">outsourcing prayers to India.

"With Roman Catholic clergy in short supply in the United States, Indian priests are picking up some of their work, saying Mass for special intentions, the New York Times reported.

PEACE A/K/A AND HE DIDN'T GET A CENT FROM IT!

href="http://www.time.com/time/asia/asia/magazine/1999/990823/inoue1.html">Daisuke Inoue of Hyogo, Japan, for inventing karaoke, thereby providing an entirely new way for people to learn to tolerate each other.

href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4057291">HERE you can hear him accept his prize.

In 1971, he leased the first set of karaoke machines to nightspots in Kobe. Despite the invention's popularity, he made little profit because he didn't patent the machine. It is now a $10 billion-a-year business.

BIOLOGY

Ben Wilson, Lawrence Dill, Robert Batty, Magnus Whalberg, and Hakan Westerberg for showing that herrings apparently communicate by farting. REFERENCE: "Sounds Produced by Herring (Clupea harengus) Bubble Release," Magnus Wahlberg and Håkan Westerberg, Aquatic Living Resources, vol. 16, 2003, pp. 271-5.
REFERENCE: "Pacific and Atlantic Herring Produce Burst Pulse Sounds," Ben Wilson, Robert S. Batty and Lawrence M. Dill, Biology Letters, vol. 271, 2003, pp. S95-S97.
Here, href="http://www.zoology.ubc.ca/~bwilson/herring_sound.wav ">listen to it yourself!

Former winners have included

MEDICINE

Chittaranjan Andrade and B.S. Srihari of the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, Bangalore, India, for their probing medical discovery that nose picking is a common activity among adolescents.

PSYCHOLOGY

David Dunning of Cornell University and Justin Kreuger of the University of Illinois, for their modest report, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties
in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments."

============================

Anger Suppresses the immune System / Arbonne Supports It

2005-10-23T22:15:00.000-07:00

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ANGER KILLS ... AND HOSTILITY IS ANGER WITH TEETH

ANGER KILLS. We've heard this often enough, but what are we to do about it? It's normal to get angry in certain circumstances, and justified. One thing Dr. Redford Williams (who wrote the book Anger Kills) tells his patients to do is to ask themselves if being held up in traffic is worth a heart attack, or if a teenager coming in 30 minutes late is worth dying over.

We know that hostile people are walking time bombs. What's a hostile person? Here is some information from Coping.org. Visit their site to learn more, and enjoy their copious coping tools.

WHEN I AM HOSTILE I AM:
sarcastic, filled with bitter humor.
biting and acerbic in my criticism of others.
cynical and unmoved
suspicious and often unlikable
defensive, paranoid, and self-protective
untrusting and disbelieving in others
self-focused rather than other-focused
see site for more

HOSTILITY CAN RESULT IN PHYSICAL EXPERIENCES OF:
tightness in my chest.
throbbing in my heart.
warm blush in my face.
profusive sweating.
high blood pressure.
see site for more

HOSTILITY CAN RESULT IN EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES OF:
fear and confusion regarding the reactions and opinions of others.
disinterest in the feelings of others.
wanting to have attention drawn to me.
wanting to be given sympathy.
self-pity.
see site for more

HOSTILITY IS AROUSED IN ME WHEN I:
consider all the inequities of life.
realize the perversity of people, business, or politics.
consider the offensive treatment I received in my family of origin.
review all the real or imagined failures in my life.
see site for more

WHAT IRRATIONAL BELIEFS AROUSE MY HOSTILITY?
no matter how hard I try, I'll not reach my goals of success and happiness.
Why should I always be the one who is giving, caring, and forgiving, in my life?
I should be rewarded for my good deeds, hard work, and sense of fair play.
I shouldn't have to suffer all this disappointment, pain, and suffering.
The good should always win out over the bad in life.
see site for more

BECAUSE OF MY HOSTILITY, SARCASM AND CYNICISM, I FIND THAT:
people seek me out infrequently.
it is hard to sustain friendships and close, lasting relationships.
there is less enjoyment in my work, play, and life in general.
I am not sought out to be a support person in someone else's life.
my philosophy of life is open to criticism and attack.
see site for more

IN ORDER TO OVERCOME MY HOSTILITY, SARCASM AND CYNICISM, I NEED TO:
rethink my philosophy of life.
make an honest inventory of my behavior toward others.
analyze the effects of my hostile behavior on me and on others.
develop a set of rational beliefs about the realities of being a mortal being in the human condition.
become less cause oriented in my view of life.
see site for more

WHAT DO I DO FIRST?
Step 1: In order to overcome my hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism, I must admit that this is a problem for me. To do this, I need to review the following questions in my journal:

A. Which of the characteristics of hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism apply directly to my behavior?
B. What physical side-effects do I experience when I am hostile?
C. What are the emotional effects of my hostility?

Read the rest of the steps, suggestions, definitions and more tools for copin with anger, visit CopingOrg.
======================================
CLUB VIVO PER LEI/I LIVE FOR MUSIC NEWS: In anticipation of an adored composer's coming 250th birthday, Mozart mania has begun infecting the classical music world.

"The most tremendous genius raised Mozart above all masters, in all centuries, and in all the arts," declared Richard Wagner.

We adore Mozart for his beautiful music, and his ebullient spirit. He suffered, but it didn't seem to effect him as the suffering of other musicians affected them. Of course there's an EQ point here! Despite the fact that his father exploited and used him for income from the time he was about 5, Mozart bounced along.

"Mozart's joy is made of serenity," wrote Andre Gide, "and a phrase of his music is like a calm thought; his simplicity is merely purity. It is a crystalline thing in which all the emotions play a role, but as if already celestially transposed. Moderation consists in feeling emotions as angels do.

DO YOU THINK EQ IS FEELING EMOTIONS AS ANGELS DO?

Click HERE to join Club Vivo Per Lei. It's free, of course!
==========================
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Anger Suppresses the Immune System/Arbonne Supports It

2005-10-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

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ANGER KILLS ... AND HOSTILITY IS ANGER WITH TEETH

Hurricane Wilma

2005-10-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

HURRICANE WILMA ... If you're sitting in the possible path of a hurricane, your fears are legitimate and realistic.

Our fears can also be irrational. We know this very well about others, i.e., the little boy who thinks all dogs bite, or the adult who's afraid to ride in elevators. When we have a fear like that, we know it's irrational intellectually, but it isn't making any difference to us emotionally.

I'm reminded of this watching Halloween come around. I write, coach and consult about EQ at work, among other things. I have always written before the holidays (Christmas, Kwanzaa, Yom Kippur) to help with the emotions that churn at that time of year, because of all the issues we all have to face, and that managers, HR and CEOs must prepare for. They center around religion, and we feel strongly about religion. How to honor this is an ongoing challenge in the US, with our increasing diversity, but we know from history that it's about the most important thing to most people. More wars have been fought in the name of religion, and more people killed, than probably any other cause, and civilizations such as Rome lasted as long as they did because they never tampered with the religions of the people they conquered.

We feel strongly about religion. One person thinks it's wrong to celebrate Christmas in the workplace, and another thinks it's fine to celebrate Christmas as long as Kwanzaa is celebrated as well.

Those feelings are strong, but they can't compare to the FEAR that generates at Halloween.

I am not a native of Texas, but have lived here many years, and I'll never forget my first Halloween here. The town I live in is 60% Hispanic, and (as you may or may not know) there's this thing they do where they dress skeletons like a bride and groom. I found this very startling! There's a lot that goes on around Halloween that's scary; there are plenty of kids that don't really like it.

And what it triggers are two things we don't like around an office -- (1) It's "childish," and (2) It's creepy, and each person has their own level of "creepy tolerance."

We can put up a Christmas tree in an office and get little flack, but try putting a jack-o-lantern with candy corn in it, or a skull and crossbones, and watch the feathers fly.

Now I'm going to relate this to Hurricane Wilma which is circling around the Yucatan as I write, and heading for somewhere in Florida. We've been told we have 3 days to prepare and that it's moving at 5 miles an hour.

THE CRUISE I TOOK IN A HURRICANE

For years I refused to take a cruise because someone always invited me in September and that's, as I "knew," Hurricane Season. Actually hurricane season, as technically defined by the weatherologists, lasts for more than 6 months.

Then I was asked to speak on a cruise in September, my sister had also been asked, and I didn't even think about it. Off we went. Into the eye of the storm, it turned out. That was Hurricane Isabelle, September 15-20, 2003. Check out this amazing website for a replay.

But we didn't know it when we embarked, as it's called, we only learned about it as rumor and near-panic spread through the ship. Being quasi-personnel, we heard the crew side of it. They weren't at all concerned about safety, just the extra work. The furniture had to be removed or lashed down, doors sealed shut, people calmed, and the ship diverted.

Now I'd like to think they care about the people (and of course they do), but there's also that $20 million ship (or whatever they cost these days) to consider, so trust me, you're safe. The captain (and you must witness the captain of a cruise ship to understand absolute authority) has all the GPS stuff, and is in constant touch with necessary information. (And like a good captain, he also made a point to stroll around and make his calm, assured presense known to the passengers.)

You actually can't be safer than on a cruise ship. Well, I mean you're safe in Boise, Idaho, but as far as where the hurricane might be actually heading. The ship can easily, easily outrun the hurricane. If you're sitting in Key West, or Cozumel, not so. You can't move.

In fact my son's father-in-law says that when he was in the navy in Vietnam, they'd duck in and out of a hurricane in order to wash the ship. Five miles an hour, as you know, is very slow.

What happened is we went elsewhere. The hurricane appeared to be heading for Grand Cayman, so we went to Belize instead. That's bad (at least to me), but not as bad as sitting on land waiting and wondering and not knowing, and then being hit. We simply went elsewhere. We were taken such good care of. The ship did rock and roll more than usual. Those stabilizers usually make the bobbing below the level of awareness, but as I gave my talk on "Emotional Intelligence," all full of allusions to the sea, I almost fell over, and a few people were seasick and wearing their patches, but all in all, it was ... well actually it made a great memory and a great story.

So my fear of cruising "during hurricane season" was irrational. It was confronted by the actuality, and dispelled.

What irrational fears do you have? How are they limiting your life? What might you do about this?

The keys to this were (1) having the experience, which I wouldn't actively have chosen, it was just luck; and (2) not being alone. My sister and I have been through worse things together.

It's very different to be stuck on land in the probable path of a hurricane, unable to get away.

Think of this in EQ terms. Being able to move is so crucial. When we're flooding with fear, the chemicals from our reptilian brain poise us for "fight or flight." (There's no fighting a hurricane, of course; one must flee.) But there are those whose amygdala is over-active, and they FREEZE. This can happen when you stop and think ... the reptilion reactions are designed to STOP THINKING. (Therefore, my friend, if you want your employee, or your child to take a corrective action, don't frighten them!)

When confronted with a charging bull, you won't survive if you become rational and try and figure out what breed it is. "Hmm, It's bos iberius the ones born and bred to charge. I'd better run. No wait, it could be a ...."

Those emotions are designed to move us ... literally and figuratively. Our emotions are designed to give us information that keeps us alive. It's how we manage them. There's no feeling that isn't accompanied by a thought. To me when I hear "cruise and hurricane" my emotional reaction is not one of fear. If I were in Key West right now, I would be scared, and my heart goes out to those in the possible path. Of course we just coped with this around the Houston area recently.

Another little boy isn't afraid of dogs biting, and another adult isn't afraid to ride in elevators, but we're all afraid, after the age of about 6, to be in the path of a speeding car, because ... "you have to be carefully taught."

There's no feeling that isn't accompanied by a thought, you see. When I hear "hurricane and cruise," my thoughts don't scare me. And looking at two skeletons dolls dressed like a bride and groom isn't going to hurt you, it's the thoughts you're having.

What have you learned? How does it serve you? It is rational or irrational? If you're sad, or depressed or angry as the holidays approach, what are you thinking? Would it serve you, and your health, to rethink?

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS THE INTERFACE BETWEEN INTELLECT AND EMOTION.
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Emotions of Leadership: Gender Bias

2005-10-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

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WHO DOES THE GROUP CHOOSE TO LEAD THEM (WHEN IT'S NOT ASSIGNED OR DICTATED)? HOW ABOUT THIS DEFINITION OF LEADERSHIP: “LEADERSHIP CAN BE SEEN AS A WORKING RELATIONSHIP AMONG MEMBERS OF A GROUP" ...
This is about leader which surely requires a host of emotional intelligence competencies. After all, the leaders that are chosen at work, are foisted on it; what happens when it's left up to the group who does the leading?
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Abstract:

Whoever gets to emerge as a leader may be the one with the right mix of individual traits that the rest of the group may find easy to identify with. Then, does it really matter whether a man or a woman becomes leader? Some observers, leaning on stereotypical data and research, tend to believe that leadership emergence favors men more than women.

We are living in a global market economy where more and more organizations are embracing group projects or teamwork. Team leadership becomes an important buzzword at the same time. There is a large increase of diverse people working shoulder to shoulder on various tasks and goals. Men and women group themselves or are grouped by the organizations in order to reach higher quotas and achieve more productivity.

It’s important to note that the effects of sex, gender role on self- and group perceptions of leader emergence fall under the large umbrella of interactive relation. After all, Pierce and Newstrom state in Leaders and the Leadership Process that “leadership can be seen as a working relationship among members of a group.” Commenting on Stogdill’s observation, these two authors suggest that “leadership is a relationship that is associated with the attainment of group objectives, implying that it is an activity, consisting of movement and getting work accomplished.”

There is no doubt that the leadership role is coveted by many people in the group. Therefore, becoming a leader will require more than the application of traits as suggested by the Great Man Theory. Being entrusted with the responsibility of leading the group to performance and satisfaction will require the use of strategies and keen observation.

A considerable amount of research has been devoted to understanding the factors associated with individuals emerging as leaders in groups. Two of these characteristics are biological sex and gender role (Goktepe & Schneier, 1989). Past research has consistently shown that men more often emerge as leaders than women (Carbonnell, 1984; Megargee, 1969). Kent, R. L. and Moss, S.E. provides an overview of the literature in Effects of sex and gender role on leaders emergence published by the Academy of Management Journal. They said that this phenomenon has been attributed to internal (Teborg, 1977; Wentworth & Anderson, 1984; White, DeSanctis, & Crino, 1981) and external (Ahrons, 2976; Bowman, Worthy, & Greyson, 1965; Goodale & Hall, 1976; Powell, 1993; Weisman, Morlock, Sack, & Levine, 1976) barriers limiting women’s leader emergence. We must rejoice in the fact that some recent evidence is suggesting that there have been shifts in societal acceptance of women as leaders (Sutton & Moore, 1985) and that some of the barriers that prevented women from emerging as leaders may be coming down (Brenner, Tomkiewicz, & Schein, 1989; Chusmir & Koberg, 1991).

In this paper, we will try to show the relationship between leader emergence and the characteristics of sex and gender role. It’s hoped that we will meet our objectives by clarifying and answering these three questions: (1) Are men more likely to emerge as leaders in group situations, (2) what are the effects of gender role on leader emergence, and (3) is sex and gender role a good predictor of leader emergence?

It’s appropriate to agree on the definition of leader emergence. “Leader emergence, as contrasted with leadership, is a product of social interaction and results in a consensus among group members that one (or more) individual(s) could serve the group more usefully in attaining group goals than the other members” (Bass, 1981:13). Most of the research investigating emergent leadership has been directed by the trait approach, which assumes that leaders are endowed with certain characteristics that predispose them to be effective in a wide range of situations. Despite the intuitive appeal of the trait approach, strong and consistent empirical support has been lacking. Dobbins, G.H., Long, W.S. & Dedrick, E.J’s article, “The Role of Self-monitoring and Gender on Leader Emergence: A Laboratory and Field Study” is reviewed by Tayna Cheer Clemons.

There is a suggestion that leader abilities, aptitudes, interests and personality characteristics typically account for less than 10 percent of the variance in leader emergence. Based on these results, many researchers conclude that a leadership trait or constellation of traits does not exist (e.g., Jenkins, 1947).

If leadership traits are not sufficient in predicting the rise to leadership, Lord, De Vader, and Alliger (1986) conducted a meta-analysis and concluded that previous reviews were far too pessimistic. They suggest that some variance in leader emergence can be predicted by the dominance, intelligence, and masculinity-femininity of the leader.

Further, Kenny and Zaccaro (1983) proposed that persons who are consistently cast into leadership positions possess the ability to perceive and predict variations in group situations and pattern their own behavior accordingly. Kenny and Zaccaro’s description of leadership is very similar to the social psychological construct of self-monitoring. THIS IS EQ. Researchers are saying that females are good at studying social cues. Self-monitoring refers to the ability and willingness to read verbal and non-verbal social cues and alter one’s behaviors (Snyder, 1979).

CONSIDER THIS IN TERMS OF EQ ...

High self-monitors (HSMs) are adept both at reading social cues and at regulating their self-presentation to fit a particular situation. HSMs are typically good actors and are able to display unfelt emotions. They place a premium on impression management and adopt what they see as a pragmatic interpersonal orientation. They rely more on situational factors to determine behavioral appropriateness and less upon their inner feelings, attitudes, and dispositions. They communicate better than low self-monitors. HSMs can spend time more time and energy reviewing background information so that they accurately understand their audience (Elliot, 1979). It is fair to say that self-monitoring has both genetic and environmental precursors though nobody is clear about its origins. HSMs, in contrast to LSMs, are attentive to social comparison information, concerned about the appropriateness of social behavior, relatively adept at acting, able to control behavior and optimize self-presentations (Gangestad & Snyder, 1985). HSMs tend to accurately read the settings and feelings of group members and subsequently exhibit behaviors that match group members’ expectations. As a result, they tend to emerge as leaders more frequently than will LSMs.

It’s worth pondering, for a moment, the effects of sex and gender on leadership emergence. How do women fare with the self-monitoring description? A review of the literature will help us understand what women have had to put up with. Garland and Beard (1979) who tested the prediction found that self-monitoring predicted leader emergence only for women. However, there may be some problems with this testing. The relationship between self-monitoring and emergence can be attenuated because self-monitoring cannot predict emergence when all groups are either high or low. When it comes to accounting for gender effects, a lot of research finds that men emerge as leaders much more frequently than do women.

Margargee (1969) examined the effects of dominance of leader emergence and found that men emerged more frequently than women irrespective of dominance levels. The same way, Nyquist and Spence (1986) found that 90 percent of high dominant women, and only 25 percent of high dominant women emerged as leaders over low dominant men. And Wentworth and Anderson (1984) found that men emerged as leaders in 86 percent of mixed-sex groups. Other studies by the same researchers and Fleischer and Chertkoff suggest that women may have been slightly more likely to emerge as leaders in the 1980s than in the 1960s, but their chances of doing so were best when they were perceived as experts.

The major study conducted by Megargee (1969) can shed some more light on the effects of sex and gender on the emergence of leadership within a group. She initially intended the study to be gender-neutral. The subjects rated high on dominance, as measured by the dominance scale on the California Personality Inventory and working in same-sex dyads emerged as leaders 69 percent of the time. In mixed-sex dyads with high-dominance men and low-dominance women, the men emerged as leaders 88 percent of the time. However, in mixed-sex dyads with high-dominance women and low-dominance men, the women emerged as leaders only 25 percent of the time. Anticipating that shifts in societal gender-role expectations would affect the frequency of women’s leader emergence, researchers such as Nyquist and Spence have tried to replicate Megargee’s original study. They also found similar results despite the fact they set up their study to be a more gender-neutral one.

In almost all of the studies conducted by the various researchers, gender-role effects were an important factor. Fagenson (1990) is suggesting that because of traditional gender stereotypes, it appears that the possession of feminine characteristics is detrimental to leader emergence while the possession of masculine ones is beneficial. These days, with so many changes in the workplace, the roles of the sexes have been blurred. The recent women’s liberation movement of the past decades, the mass entrance of women in the work force, the increasing number of female managers (Powell, Posner, & Schmidt, 1984), and the societal shifts in gender-role perceptions have all contributed to these changes. It would be interesting to find out whether because of all these changes women today possess more masculine characteristics than they have at any time in the past. Furthermore, many studies have shown masculinity to be associated with leader emergence.

Pierce and Newstrom report “in a study by Goktepe and Schneier (1989), college students performed gender-neutral tasks over the course of a semester. The effects of both sex and gender role on the leader emergence were assessed. The results indicated that sex had no effect on leader emergence, but gender role did. Specifically, regardless of sex, masculine subjects were more likely to emerge as leaders than feminine, androgynous, and undifferentiated individuals.” In view of these findings, Pierce and Newstrom developed four hypotheses:

(1)Men will more often emerge as leaders in group situations than women

(2) Group members high in masculinity will emerge as leaders more frequently than those low in masculinity

(3) Gender identity will account for more variance in leader emergence than biological sex

(4) Individuals classified as masculine or androgynous will emerge as leaders more frequently than individuals classified as feminine or undifferentiated. The study, however, did not indicate whether having feminine characteristics would strengthen or weaken the prospects of leader emergence for those high on masculinity.

It is important to note a few results of this study. The above-named researchers found out that androgynous or hermaphroditic individuals have the same chances of emerging as leader as masculine individuals. The implications of the study can be summarized as follows.

First, consistent with previous studies and in support of Hypothesis 2, it is clear that masculinity is still an important predictor of leader emergence.

Second, contrary to previous findings, the emergence of androgynous leaders suggests that the possession of feminine characteristics does not decrease an individual’s chances of emerging as a leader as long as the individual also possesses masculine characteristics.

Third, as an extension, if women in other contexts are more likely to be androgynous than masculine, as they were in the study, they may have better chances of rising to leadership status. There will have to be verification of androgyny as being related to leader emergence in other settings in future studies. Nothing is conclusive.

EAGLY'S GENDER-ROLE THEORY: Men are more likely to emerge as leaders in task-oriented groups, but women are more likely to emerge as leaders in socially oriented groups.

Conventional wisdom or common sense suggests that systematic connections exist between gender, interaction, and leadership. We all know that a group of women are believed to organize social life differently than men. In other words, women are expected to enact less instrumental behavior than men and to create hierarchical structures of power and prestige less often. In mixed-gender settings, women are expected to hold a disproportionate share of low-status positions on power and prestige hierarchies,” observed Walker, Henry A, Llardi, Barbara C, McMahon, Anne M, Fennell, Mary L. in Gender, Interactions, and leadership.

Gender is a status characteristic in U.S. society, and females possess the low state of characteristic (Berger, Rosentholtz, and Zelditch 1980). Let’s look at some of the additional theories behind gender, interaction and leadership.

Walker et al. said “the world of experience appears to verify these presuppositions. Males exercise more influence than females in face-to-face groups such
as families (Strodtbeck 1951; Zelditch 1955) and juries (Strodtbeck, James and Hawkins 1957; Strodtbeck and Mann 1956). They are also more likely than females to become members of prestigious occupations, to hold positions of authority at work (Wolf and Fligstein 1979) and to achieve powerful positions in the corporate and civic worlds (Kanter 1977; Kathlene 1994). After considering the data on gender, interaction and leadership, one may not wonder why there has never been a woman president in the history of the United States.

Based on the gender-role socialization theory, girls and boys are taught to enact gender-typed behaviors; the tendencies, once established, are stable and relatively inflexible. Gender-role socialization (GRS) arguments build on functional theories of role differentiation to explain gender differences in behavior (Bales 1953; Durkheim 1964; Zeditch 1955. GRS arguments predict uniform gender differences. They presume that females enact more expressive than instrumental behaviors, whereas males perform a higher proportion of instrumental acts. What to remember is the following: Gender-role socialization (GRS1) suggests that all-female groups are less likely than all-male groups to develop hierarchical patterns of power and prestige. GRS2 suggests that females are less likely than males to hold top positions on power and prestige structures in mixed-gender groups. Furthermore, we can take a look at the legitimacy theories. LEG 1 stipulate that all-femaile groups are as likely as all-male groups to develop hierarchical patterns of power and prestige. LEG 2 states that females are as likely as males to hold top positions on power and prestige structures in mixed-gender groups. Walker et. al say that the legitimacy arguments presume that some combinations of actors (or identities), roles, and behaviors are more legitimate than others; that is, they are constitutively prescribed or normatively defined as more appropriate. These theories imply that actors whose identities possess equal legitimacy enact similar behavior. Members of homogeneous groups possess equally legitimate identities-in-action.

A more profound review of the existing literature seems to shed more light on the effects of gender role, leader emergence and whether sex and gender role is a good predictor of emergent leadership. Without even taking the natural occurrence of birth order, many females have had lots of experience being leaders. Many of these women are used to holding leadership positions. Ronk (1993) in her study of gender gaps in management failed to find differences between male and female leadership styles based on personality traits and their relationship to leadership quality. The same study also reports that there is no difference between male and female managerial styles and values that predict behavior in men and women.

Ronk was not the only researcher who came up with this conclusion. Phillip A. et al. provide the study conducted by Campbell et al. (1993) which concludes that gender has no substantive impact on leadership style.

Furthermore, Maccoby and Schein are said to present a large body of literature on sex-role stereotyping which might predispose an individual to expect a particular type of leadership approach from a female leader. Butterfield and Powell (1981) argued that sex-role stereotypes, not sex, are predictors of leadership styles and that leader sex effects appear to be decreasing. Kent and Moss (1994) also concluded that although women were slightly more likely than men to be perceived as leaders, gender role had a stronger effect than sex on emergent leadership.

In view of all these research results, it remains clear that women have a better chance of being themselves if they want to rise to leadership positions. Rojahn and Willemsen (1994) found only limited support for the gender-role hypothesis that women are more favorably accepted when they act like women and not like men.

References:

Books:
Pierce, J.L. and Newstrom, J.W. Leaders and the Leadership Process. (New York: McGraw Hill Higher Education, 2003)
Powell, G.N. (1988). Women & Men in management. Newbury Park, CA: Sage

Stogdill, R. M. Handbook of leadership: A survey of the literature (New York: Free Press, 1974)
Ahrons, C.R. 1976. Counselor’s perceptions of career images of women. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 8: 197-207.

Berger, J., Rosenholtz, S. J., and Zelditch, M. 1980. “Status organizing Processes.” Annual Review of Sociology 6:479-508. Bischoping, K. 1993. .

Bowman, G.W., Worthy, N.B., & Greyson, S.A. 1965. Problems in review: Are women executives people? Harvard Business Review, 43 (4): 52-67.

Carbonell, J.L. 1984. Sex Roles and leadership revisited. Journal of Applied Psychology, 69: 44-49.

Elliot, G.C. 1979. Some effects of deception and level of self-monitoring on planning and reacting to self presentation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37: 1282-1292.

Fagenson, E. A.,. 1990. Perceived masculine and feminine attributes examined as a function of individuals’ sex and level in the organizational power hierarchy: A test of four theoretical perspectives. Journal of Applied Psychology, 75: 204-211.

Jenkins, W.O. 1947. A Review of leadership studies with particular reference to military problems. Psychological Bulletin, 44: 54-79

Goktepe, J.R., B Schneier, C.E. 1989. Role of sex, gender roles, and attraction in predicting emergent leaders. Journal of Applied Psychology, 74: 165-167.

Goodale, J.G., & Hall, D.T. 1976. Inheriting a career: The influence of sex, values, and parents. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 8: 19-30.

Kent, R. L., & Moss, S.E. 1990. Self-monitoring as a predictor of leader emergence. Psychological Reports, 66: 875-881

Kenny, D., & Zaccaro, S. 1983. An estimate of variance due to traits in leadership. Journal of Applied Psychology, 68: 678-685.

Megargee, E.I. 1969. Influence of sex roles on the manifestation of leadership. Journal of Applied Psychology, 53: 377-382.
Snyder, M. 1979. Self-monitoring processes. In L. Berkowitz (ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology, 12:86-128. New York: Academic Press.

Nyquist, L.V., & Spence, J.T. 1986. Effects of dispositional dominance and sex role expectations on leadership behaviors. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50:87-93.
Snyder, M. 1986. Public appearances/private realities. New York: Freeman and Company.
Ronk, LA. (1993), “Gender gaps with management”, Nursing Management, May, pp. 65-7.
Strodtbeck, F.L., 1951. “Husband-Wife Interaction over Revealed Differences.” American Sociological Review 16: 468-73.
Terborg, J.R. 1977. Women in Management: A research review. Journal of Applied Psychology, 62:647-664.

Wentworth, D. K., & Anderson, L.R. 1984. Emergent Leadership as a function of sex and task type. Sex Roles, 11: 513-523.

Walker, H. A., Llardi, B.C., McMahon, Anne M., Fennell, M.L. Gender, Interactions, and leadership. Social Psychology Quarterly. Washington: Sep 1996. Vol. 59, Iss. 3; pg. 255, 18 pgs.

White, M.C., DeSanctis, G., & Crino, M.D. 1981. Achievement, self-confidence, personality traits, and leadership ability: A review of literature on sex differences. Psychological Reports, 48: 547-569.

Wagner: Strength of Will, Stress and Music

2005-10-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

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A We continue to explore the effects of healing and music. Join Club VIVO PER LEI/I Live for Music by going HERE.

The genius of Richard Wagner(German composer) is almost unhuman ... As Verdi said, re: Wagner's opera Tristan and Isolde (and Verdi was not an uncritical admirer of Wagner: "I could never quite grasp the fact that it had been created by a mere human being."

Says Magee, in his autobio of Wagner:

"To a serious extent [Wagner] was a victim of his own strength of will. His normal experience was of incessant longings, cravings, yearnings, for things he could not have, or at least did not get. Because of this his life, at any rate until its last 18 years, was a catalogue of frustration -- and because of the power of his will that frustration was of an abnormally high level of intensity. And because of this -- each thing following on from the last -- he was always in a stressed condition.

When one examines the seemingly endless list of physical maladies from which [Wagner] suffered they are nearly all such as are usually **stress disorders -- or what we might now dub psychosomatic illlnesses, though in his day people did not have that concept.

For much of the time he was a sick man bruising himself against the world, against both people and institutions, hurling himself against circumstances, never letting up, making his condidion worse.

For this reason he was profoundly unhappy for most of the time."

He himself wrote that these was never a day in his life he did not contemplate suicide.

**This is an unfair statement, or rather an incomplete one. We know now that our emotions effect every cell in our body, and our immune system, which is our health, and the fact that the term "gut feeling" originated because the vagus nerve extends from our first and real brain (the one in our heads) all the way down to our intestines, or "gut" which is called "the second brain" by scientists. This is why when we're frustated in our heads, as Wagner was, we feel it in our hearts and in our stomachs, and anywhere else in our bodies. The toxins build up, the immune system goes down, and call it whatever you like, the person FEELS BAD and gets SICK.

THERE REALLY IS NO NEED FOR MIND-BODY MEDICINE BECAUSE THEY WERE NEVER SEPARATE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
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Halloween ... a Multicultural Look

2005-10-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

YGRAINE IS READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

I am babysitting my grand-dog right now. Her parents have moved in with friends while they demolish their current home and build a new one.

I don't understand people who say dogs don't "have feelings." It's so clear! Ygraine sat by the front window when her "daddy" drove away and whimpered. Reluctantly she took a piece of cheese I offered but returned to the window, hoping against hope ... Then she walked slowly and forlornly over to her place on the rug by the the television where she had sat the whole time her dad was here. I know she'll adjust in a couple of days. She's been here before. Right now she's miserable, missing her home and her folks. (Ever had that feeling?) I will gently work with her but right now I'm not what she wants and there's no way around it.

It's sad to see her refuse the love that's here for the love that's gone.
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TODAY'S READ IS A LOOK AT HALLOWEEN FROM A MULTICULTURAL STANDPOINT:

Halloween began as an ancient Celtic ceremony called Sawhain. It was the Celts major celebration, a festival of the dead but also the beginning of winter.

It was time for them to harvest their crops and store them, and round up the cattle and sheep and move them in closer. They believed at this time the ghosts of the dead mingled with the living. I think this is archetypal (in our bones) because things are dying this time of year. Plants are dying, leaves fall off the trees ...

Others think it was the harvest, why keep it to yourself? Invite all your ancestors and dearly departed to join in.

Sawhain was exactly 6 weeks after the Autumnal Equinox and 6 weeks before the Winter Solstice.

Now here's how one tradition developed. It was New Year's, a new beginning. Cold, too, so they'd have a fire. Someone from each household would be sent to collect embers from the community fire to start the fire at their own hearth. The easiest way to carry home the coals was in a hollowed out turnip, sometimes with a carved face on it to scare away evil spirits.
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The trick or treat? This is from bigchill.net:

Cakes and sweeties are also essential. Ghosts are especially benevolent towards children and everyone knows that the best way to lure children to the table is with sweet stuff.

Anyway, the Celts were celbrating Sawhain and then the Christian missionaries arrived to convert them to Christianity. In one of the sanest, most humane, edicts I've read, Pope Gregory I issued an edict that it was to be done this way: the missionaries should not obliterate the native religion, but rather use it. If they found the Celts worshipped a tree, they should not cut it down, but rather consecrate it to Christ, and let the worship continue.

Christian holidays were also set to coincide with local holy days. All Saints Day was assigned November 1st and meant to substitute for Sawhain, but Sawhain still it continued.

Jack Santino says, “The powerful symbolism of the traveling dead was too strong, and perhaps too basic to the human psyche, to be satisfied with the new, more abstract Catholic feast honoring saints.”

The Church tried again in the 8th century, naming November 2nd as All Soul’s Day, but Sawhain continued, and with time, All Hallows Eve (the night before) became Hallowe’en. People began to dress in costume to seek gifts of food and drink, which had originally been set out to appease spirits, to lure children to their doors with goodies, and to masquerade as spirits, and our traditions of Halloween evolved.

There’s a lesson in multiculturalism here; a way to change culture and blend beliefs and traditions. “Worship” was the constant in the equation, and dealing with dark spirits, which they kept and modified. The new was accommodated without changing the old too much. Remember this when you’re changing a household or office custom.
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EQ 4 U

2005-10-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

MAYBE SHE'S NOT SUCH AN ANGEL AFTER ALL. DATING ON THE INTERNET HAS ITS HAZARDS. LET TheCloser FIND OUT FOR YOU.
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ARE YOU HIDING BEHIND A HAPPY-FACE MASK? One of the hardest things a business organization has to deal with (or a person, because a business is ultimately a person ... the people) is the unexpected.

Ask the governor of New Orleans.

What's your personal version of "We had no way of knowing the levees would break" or "We didn't realize so many people wouldn't be able to evacuate."

Your version might be:

Yes, I knew he didn't like it here, and I knew he was very popular, but I never thought he'd take half my sales force with him when he left.

The price of oil wasn't supposed to go down. I just lost half my retirement.

I thought he didn't like it here, but I had no idea he'd take half the sales force with him when he left.

I assumed the two department heads would coordinate the launch before they started.

Of course we didn't have key-man insurance. Who would anticipate harry would drop dead of a heart attack at the age of 41?

I thought everyone in the department knew how to run that software. How come they never told me Annette was the only one who did?

Getting your mind around risk is an essential part of leadership, just as an optimistic can-do attitude is, and the two must not be confused.

They are two different EQ skills, both necessary.

In fact it could be said, "Count on the best, but prepare for the worse."

There are contingencies you must antitipcate, and have Plan Bs in your head. What IF Rosemary got sick and couldn't come in for a week? Could you survive? What IF the price of that part sky-rockets? What IF you couldn't work for a month, what would happen to the company?

In the business world it's called "low-probability/high-impact events that require complex understanding." Here at EQ Central (where we try to avoid jargon), it's resilience, because, in fact, it's never the things you could anticipate that will throw you, it's that phone call at 3 p.m. on a pleasant Wednesday afternoon that changes your world forever.

Flex your EQ muscles ... learn resilience. You'll need it some day. Sooner or later.

Panic shuts the brain down and stops us from being able to think just when we need it the most. Like when those levees we counted on ... or that top salesperson who carried the company ... or the only housing market in the country that's risen steadily for 25 years ...

Don't hide behind the Happy Mask. Take it off and look around. And this includes making it possible, in fact rewwarding, for those who work for and with you to tell it like it is -- to you -- to your face (without the mask).

Take a tip from the US Army After-Action Reviews: Get the team together immediately to analyze the problem, not blame someone -- what should have happened, what did happen, how it happened, and what to do next time. You should be so lucky it's "someone's fault, Paula's". No, it's usually a systems failure.

Here's a good reasource for you, a book that begins "One of the greatest challenges any business organization faces is dealing with the unexpected..": Managing the Unexpected: Assuring High Performance in an Age of Complexity" by Karl E. Weick and Kathleen M. Sutcliffe.

This should peak your interest. Know about amazon dot com's Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs)? Here they are: (learn more) capability for mindfulness, preoccupation with failure, mindful culture, toward mindlessness, mindful management, capacity for mindfulness, interactively complex, high reliability organizations, mindful processes, your work unit, failure reluctance, mindful action, informed culture, mindful moments, safety culture, most other organizations, disagree responses, explosive range, less mindful, five processes, action repertoire, more mindful.

Does that whet your appetitite?

YOU'RE NOT ALONE. YOU HAVE A COACH. RIGHT HERE. I do not require a contract. You're smart, and I'm experienced. If we can solve it in one-session, so much the better.

To subscribe to the EQ at Work ezine, go HERE.

Spice Up Your Sex Life

2005-10-12T14:19:00.000-07:00

WANT TO SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE?

According to studies conducted by the Diet & Fitness Center at Duke University Medical Center, morbidly obese people are 25 times more likely to have problems in their sex lives than normal-weight people.

What impressed reseracher Martin Binks, Ph.D., psychologist and director of behavioral health at Duke, was how big a difference it makes in one's sex life to be morbidly obese. There are numbers which indicate "morbidly obese" (like BMI) but I think we know when we're there - or fatter than we'd like to be, or heavier than we should be for optimal health, or displeased with our weight, or when it is interfering with our sex lives, yes?

The study confirmed that desire for sex, performance, and enjoyment all decline with obesity. In fact some "morbidly obese" people avoid sex, even dating, completely. And with the media and other pressure in the US who does this apply to -- thinking that we're "too fat" to enjoy a sex life or "too fat" to date or be attractive to the opposite sex?

A majority of the US population iss overweight, and a majority of females may not be overweight but are pressured to feel terrible unless they are pencil thin.
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One of the hardest thing for women in the US to deal with is the attitude toward weight. Just read the profiles on the Internet dating sites ... "can't stand overweight women," "no fatties need apply," "don't send me a picture 25 lbs. ago," and "first, send me a photo and what size do you wear?"

This is analagous to asking men for their salary, 401k and income, asking for a photo of their bank statement, saying "less than 6 figures, don't bother writing." It's rude and insensitive. Worse than that it isn't considering what a person is really like, on the inside - their dream and plans, their values, how they treat other people, and who they are.

People change. If you're in it for the long haul, your love may have wrinkles come day, gray hair, a few extra pounds, or a bad case of acne. It isn't about what's on the outside!

In Binks' study, the average BMI was over 40 and individuals were asked about four things:

1. enjoyment of sexual activity
2. sexual desire
3. difficulty with sexual performance, and
4. avoiding sexual encounters

All these people were in treatement for "obesity."

65% of them said they had significant sexual problems
50% had difficulties desiring sex
42% had performance problems
41% said they avoided sex
28% reported less enjoyment of sex, compared with 4% of the normal-weight group.

THAT'S A HIGH PRICE TO PAY FOR WEIGHING MORE THAN IT IS HEALTHY TO (you can lose weight) or FEELING BAD ABOUT YOUR SELF-IMAGE (which can be conditioned, caused by a critical Significant Other, parent, or partner, or "in your head" (you can work on your emotional intelligence).

One of my clients, Nancy, started taking the ARBONNE weight loss supplement and lost weight after a year of being at a standstill, despite a decent daily diet and running several miles every day. She weighs 20 lbs. more than the charts say she should. However, she looks good, has no health problems, and is largely operating with an "emotional hangover" from her last boyfriend who, because he, himself, suffered low self-esteem, kept putting her down. This is living in the past! She's also working on her emotional intelligence competencies and self-talk. One of the competencies is "personal power" - not being in the "victim" position.

If your "self-talk" has been poisoned by a negative person, check into the EQ FOUNDATION COURSE or CALL FOR ONE (1) COACHING SESSION.

I DO NOT ASK FOR A COACHING CONTRACT LIKE OTHER COACHES. MOST OF THE TIME WE CAN ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU CAME FOR IN ONE SESSION. I don't know if I'm better than other coaches, work faster, or attract a more motivated and savvY group of clients, but that's the way it works out, so please don't feel like I require a 12-month contract like some coach's, or that one session will be a waste of time or just a prelude for a contract. You know what's best for you. My clients know what works for them. If you want a "contract" please ask for one. Me? I just want to get you where you want to go, whether we accomplish that in one session or several.

I have clients who pop in from time to time, and some who've been coaching with me for years.

If you have a problem in your head about your weight, which is undoubtedly affecting your love life, sex life and emotions, why not give me a call?

If you're a man who's obsessed about the "weight" of women, you might also want to consider that this is really about YOU, and get some coaching.

Everyone deserves a great life, a great sex life, a great partner, and a great job! YES!
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graphic, common domain, pdphoto credit

Emotional Intelligence & Success in the Workplace

2005-10-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

WINTER IS COMING. ARE YOU PREPARED? GOT SOME GOOD BOOKS TO READ, SOME GREAT MUSIC TO LISTEN TO?

This is a great time for you to join the Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music Club. Music soothes the savage beast and you love it! I'll send you a gorgeous selection once a week - just the best - to the beast in you from the beauty in me! Click HEREto join.
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Have you wondered who's got the highest EQ? We can't help making comparisons, and in some cases we need to know, for instance if we're hiring someone for a very sensitive position. After all, we wouldn't think of hiring someone to be a math professor who wasn't good at math. Certain professions would seem to require a higher EQ than others (say a coach v. a computer programmer), but there hasn't been much research done on that yet.

But here's how it stacks up as to age, and genger, by one researcher at any rate. Reuven Bar-On, Ph.D.

EQ AND AGE

Bar-On has tested numerous people around the world and has found that there are, as you would guess, difference between the age groups.

On most of the scales, and overall, older people score higher than younger people.

This seems to peak in the late 40s. That's when people get the highest mean scores.

Children's EQ also increases with age.

This is interesting because cognitive intelligence increases up until late adolescence and then starts a (mild) decline. (There's some debate about whether it increases or not!)

EQ AND GENDER

1. In overall EQ there are no differences between the genders, statistically, however there are big differences in the separate competencies.
2. North America ["NA"] females appear to have stronger interpersonal skills than males
4. NA males have a higher intrapersonal capacity, are better at managing emotions and are more adaptable than women
5. NA women are more aware of emotions, demonstrate more empathy, relate better interpersonally and are more socially responsible than men.
6. NA men have better self-regard, are more self-reliant, cope better with stress, are more flexible, solve problems better, and are more optimistic than women.

Bar-)n has noticed these trends in every population he's studied.

These results, says Bar-on, are why men are diagnosed with psychopathology more than women, while women suffer more from anxiety-related illnesses (American Psychiatric Association, 1994).

According to Bar-on, there were no differences between various ethnic groups that were compared (Bar-On, 1997b, 2000, 2004; Bar-On & Parker, 2000). He writes, "This is an interesting finding when compared with some of the controversial conclusions that have been presented over the years suggesting significant differences in cognitive intelligence between various ethnic groups (e.g., Suzuki & Valencia, 1997)."

IN SUM, the older people are, the more socially and emotionally intelligent they are. Females are more aware of emotions than men are, but men are more adept at managing them. (Seems like we need each other, yes?)

From the website The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations, article by Reuven Bar-On, Ph.D.

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Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

2005-10-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

Blogarama

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One of the most difficult emotions to manage is fear. It's strong, because it protects us. Too much of a good thing stops us from living our lives. How do you tell the difference? Getting to know your emotions, in general, better, which is the self-awareness that is the cornerstone of EQ. Take THE EQ FOUNDATION course for a good start.

"Normal fear protects us; abnormal fear paralyses us. Normal fear motivates us to improve our individual and collective welfare; abnormal fear constantly poisons and distorts our inner lives. Our problem is not to be rid of fear but, rather to harness and master it." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Subscribe to my ezines. There are several to choose from. All exceptionally attractive and informative. Go HERE to subscribe.

2005-10-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

WONDERING WHAT TO DO? Two heads are better than one. If you're a guy and uncharacteristically stumped (EQ studies show men are better problem-solvers than women), call for coaching. It means there's something you really need to bounce off someone else. This has nothing to do with "getting help." That's not what coaching is about. It's plan ... strategy ... thinking smart ...

I do not require any sort of coaching contract. The majority of things can be handled in one session. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc to set a time, or call 210-496-0678 and I'll return your call. DO it now while it's on your mind. Strike while the iron is hot.

Join Our Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music Club

If you live for music, like I do, join the new club. You'll get a message once a week in your emailbox.
MUSIC IS AN OUTBURST OF THE SOUL: Listen to a perennial favorite, "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring." - Music is intelligent emotion.

"Music is the effort we make to explain to ourselves how our brains work. We listen to Bach transfixed because this is listening to the human mind." +Lewis Thomas, American physician and writer