Hurricane Wilma

HURRICANE WILMA ... If you're sitting in the possible path of a hurricane, your fears are legitimate and realistic.

Our fears can also be irrational. We know this very well about others, i.e., the little boy who thinks all dogs bite, or the adult who's afraid to ride in elevators. When we have a fear like that, we know it's irrational intellectually, but it isn't making any difference to us emotionally.

I'm reminded of this watching Halloween come around. I write, coach and consult about EQ at work, among other things. I have always written before the holidays (Christmas, Kwanzaa, Yom Kippur) to help with the emotions that churn at that time of year, because of all the issues we all have to face, and that managers, HR and CEOs must prepare for. They center around religion, and we feel strongly about religion. How to honor this is an ongoing challenge in the US, with our increasing diversity, but we know from history that it's about the most important thing to most people. More wars have been fought in the name of religion, and more people killed, than probably any other cause, and civilizations such as Rome lasted as long as they did because they never tampered with the religions of the people they conquered.

We feel strongly about religion. One person thinks it's wrong to celebrate Christmas in the workplace, and another thinks it's fine to celebrate Christmas as long as Kwanzaa is celebrated as well.

Those feelings are strong, but they can't compare to the FEAR that generates at Halloween.

I am not a native of Texas, but have lived here many years, and I'll never forget my first Halloween here. The town I live in is 60% Hispanic, and (as you may or may not know) there's this thing they do where they dress skeletons like a bride and groom. I found this very startling! There's a lot that goes on around Halloween that's scary; there are plenty of kids that don't really like it.

And what it triggers are two things we don't like around an office -- (1) It's "childish," and (2) It's creepy, and each person has their own level of "creepy tolerance."

We can put up a Christmas tree in an office and get little flack, but try putting a jack-o-lantern with candy corn in it, or a skull and crossbones, and watch the feathers fly.

Now I'm going to relate this to Hurricane Wilma which is circling around the Yucatan as I write, and heading for somewhere in Florida. We've been told we have 3 days to prepare and that it's moving at 5 miles an hour.

THE CRUISE I TOOK IN A HURRICANE

For years I refused to take a cruise because someone always invited me in September and that's, as I "knew," Hurricane Season. Actually hurricane season, as technically defined by the weatherologists, lasts for more than 6 months.

Then I was asked to speak on a cruise in September, my sister had also been asked, and I didn't even think about it. Off we went. Into the eye of the storm, it turned out. That was Hurricane Isabelle, September 15-20, 2003. Check out this amazing website for a replay.

But we didn't know it when we embarked, as it's called, we only learned about it as rumor and near-panic spread through the ship. Being quasi-personnel, we heard the crew side of it. They weren't at all concerned about safety, just the extra work. The furniture had to be removed or lashed down, doors sealed shut, people calmed, and the ship diverted.

Now I'd like to think they care about the people (and of course they do), but there's also that $20 million ship (or whatever they cost these days) to consider, so trust me, you're safe. The captain (and you must witness the captain of a cruise ship to understand absolute authority) has all the GPS stuff, and is in constant touch with necessary information. (And like a good captain, he also made a point to stroll around and make his calm, assured presense known to the passengers.)

You actually can't be safer than on a cruise ship. Well, I mean you're safe in Boise, Idaho, but as far as where the hurricane might be actually heading. The ship can easily, easily outrun the hurricane. If you're sitting in Key West, or Cozumel, not so. You can't move.

In fact my son's father-in-law says that when he was in the navy in Vietnam, they'd duck in and out of a hurricane in order to wash the ship. Five miles an hour, as you know, is very slow.

What happened is we went elsewhere. The hurricane appeared to be heading for Grand Cayman, so we went to Belize instead. That's bad (at least to me), but not as bad as sitting on land waiting and wondering and not knowing, and then being hit. We simply went elsewhere. We were taken such good care of. The ship did rock and roll more than usual. Those stabilizers usually make the bobbing below the level of awareness, but as I gave my talk on "Emotional Intelligence," all full of allusions to the sea, I almost fell over, and a few people were seasick and wearing their patches, but all in all, it was ... well actually it made a great memory and a great story.

So my fear of cruising "during hurricane season" was irrational. It was confronted by the actuality, and dispelled.

What irrational fears do you have? How are they limiting your life? What might you do about this?

The keys to this were (1) having the experience, which I wouldn't actively have chosen, it was just luck; and (2) not being alone. My sister and I have been through worse things together.

It's very different to be stuck on land in the probable path of a hurricane, unable to get away.

Think of this in EQ terms. Being able to move is so crucial. When we're flooding with fear, the chemicals from our reptilian brain poise us for "fight or flight." (There's no fighting a hurricane, of course; one must flee.) But there are those whose amygdala is over-active, and they FREEZE. This can happen when you stop and think ... the reptilion reactions are designed to STOP THINKING. (Therefore, my friend, if you want your employee, or your child to take a corrective action, don't frighten them!)

When confronted with a charging bull, you won't survive if you become rational and try and figure out what breed it is. "Hmm, It's bos iberius the ones born and bred to charge. I'd better run. No wait, it could be a ...."

Those emotions are designed to move us ... literally and figuratively. Our emotions are designed to give us information that keeps us alive. It's how we manage them. There's no feeling that isn't accompanied by a thought. To me when I hear "cruise and hurricane" my emotional reaction is not one of fear. If I were in Key West right now, I would be scared, and my heart goes out to those in the possible path. Of course we just coped with this around the Houston area recently.

Another little boy isn't afraid of dogs biting, and another adult isn't afraid to ride in elevators, but we're all afraid, after the age of about 6, to be in the path of a speeding car, because ... "you have to be carefully taught."

There's no feeling that isn't accompanied by a thought, you see. When I hear "hurricane and cruise," my thoughts don't scare me. And looking at two skeletons dolls dressed like a bride and groom isn't going to hurt you, it's the thoughts you're having.

What have you learned? How does it serve you? It is rational or irrational? If you're sad, or depressed or angry as the holidays approach, what are you thinking? Would it serve you, and your health, to rethink?

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS THE INTERFACE BETWEEN INTELLECT AND EMOTION.
=======================
Stressed out? Try ARBONNE's Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement. Engineered by the Swiss, mfg in US. Notice the careful wording of the name... It's a technological-advanced formula designed to support the immune system. There are emotions we can't control, like the fear of an approaching hurricane, and that's when we need the extra support for our immune system. Emotions affect the immune system (5 mins. of anger can suppress it for 6 hours!) and your immune system is your health. Be proactive and get on a supplement like this to stay well. Give yourself a break ... give yourself some ARBONNE. That, and EQ, and a little luck, are all you need!

Get on the anti-aging regimen before it's too late! Order the NutriMinCRe9System. Become a distributor and save 35% on your own purchases. Sign up HERE.