The Answer is Salt - Work, Tears, the Sea

Our emotions come from physiological reactions coming from within us. "We" reside in a body composed of various elements. It can be easy to foget this, but we know, starting with the very basics, that we react with more volatility when we are too tired, too hungry, or too hot or cold. Today's article, by Eva Moffat, a former nurse from the UK, gives us some basic health information.

WHY OUR TEARS ARE SALTY

Salt can be found in every cell in our bodies. In an adult human there is a total of about 250 grammes (a cupful). Is it any wonder our tears and sweat are salty.

So that our bodies can function properly, salt is essential.

Exercise, in hot weather etc, we sweat and this depletes the body of salt, which must then be replaced. Most crucially, salt helps keep the balance of our bodily
fluids, that carry nutrients and oxygen around our bodies.

When I was nursing, we nurses cried many salty tears when patients would not drink enough water. Working out the 'Fluid Balance' was difficult enough without some stroppy patient refusing to cooperate.

Fluid balance is measuring the amount of urine a patient passes in 24 hours and the amount of liquid the patient drinks. Ideally both figures should be about the same.

If the patient drinks too much and doesn't pass enough urine, the result could mean damage to the kidneys. Or if the other way round, the patient doesn't drink enough, the body will store the excess salt and may cause water to gather around the heart, and this is bad news for the heart. This water swelling is called Oedema. ["edema" in the US]

Salt Has Two Elements: Sodium and Chloride.

Sodium

· Enables the transmission of nerve impulses around the body, this regulates the electrical charges moving in and out of the cells.
· Our taste, smell and touch are controlled by Sodium.
· Sodium helps all the muscles in the body (including the heart) to contract.
· Signals to and from the brain depend on Sodium.

Chloride

· Helps with the digestive process.
· Preserves the acid-base balance in the body
· Absorbs Potassium
· Helps the blood to carry carbon dioxide from the tissues to the lungs

The healthy body is able to adjust the amount of salt needed to keep everything working well.

If we need more water, because the body is storing too much salt, we get thirsty. This helps flush out the kidneys and the excess salt is passed out of the body.

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF INSUFFICIENT SALT?

· Muscular Weakness
· Muscular Cramps
· In very hot weather - Heat Exhaustion

A Dire Warning:

Severe salt deprivation can even prove fatal.

SALT AND THE PREGNANT WOMAN

Quite often during her first pregnancy, a woman will suffer with High Blood Pressure. This can be aggravated by some conditions such as Diabetes, Chronic Kidney Disease or carrying several babies, such as twins etc.

Sometimes prescribed drugs are not useful. Salt restrictions and diuretics can have the opposite effect.

Evidence shows that by having a low salt diet, a pregnant woman can cause problems for the unborn child.

SENIOR CITIZENS AND SALT RESTRICTIONS

Especially in the Summer Months elderly people are inclined to not drink enough as well as not being able to adjust to the heat. So between the two, it could cause a dangerous situation.

The salt lost through sweat is not replaced - the blood thickens and as the blood cannot pass through the blood vessels freely; the blood pressure rises.

What Happens If The Blood Pressure Rises?

This can put extra strain on the heart and can lead to heart attacks and strokes.

JUST A PINCH OF SALT

New research shows that 22 million people in the UK are now trying to cut down the amount of salt they eat. This has been achieved partly by not adding any extra salt to the food they eat.

It has been found that by checking the salt content on the labels of food products on the Supermarket Shelves, consumers can make their own choices of how much salt they should have in a day.

There are adverts on the television and in the newspapers recommending that an adult should have no more than 6 grams of salt in a day.

Eating too much salt puts your heart at risk. High Blood Pressure, Heart Disease and Stroke is the cause of death of over 170 000 people a year in the UK.

Studies have shown that by reducing salt intake, Blood Pressure can be lowered within four weeks.

If you want to be a statistic, don't aim to be a dead one. Cut down on your salt intake now!

About the Author: I am Eva Moffat is a 66 year old disabled lady, living in
Manchester England. I want to help you to enjoy optimum good health by using Nutritional Supplements like I do. My specialty is helping you with your Weight Loss problems. http://www.weight-loss-4-you.com or email: eva.moffat@onetel.net .
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Who's the Winner?

The one who can make the other one angry...

"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him." - Epictetus

Feeling Stressed as the Holidays Approach?

ANGER IS ONLY A PART OF GOOD EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT. WHEN YOU STUDY EQ YOU LEARN THE EFFECTS OF ALL THE EMOTIONS, AND HOW TO MANAGE AROUND THEM -- YOURS AND THOSE OF OTHERS.

Today we have a good article about anger management, but encourage you to pursue the "whole thing" with EQ study.
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HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE, PART 2 - The Bully
by Dr. Tony Fiore

Sixty-four year old Bill was a married retired executive who sought anger management help on the insistence of his wi.fe Ann.

After 24 years Ann could no longer tolerate his bullying behavior toward her, their children, and their friends. He would often relate in an insulting, "get in your face" way using a loud, intimidating voice that frightened her.

She often felt like a little girl who was being scolded. He gave her orders with no thought for her feelings or how others were reacting to his behavior. If he did not get his own way, he would often pout or withhold needed finances from her.

Tactics Of The Adult Bully

As this case illustrates, emotional bullying occurs when someone tries to gain control by making others feel angry or afraid. It is often characterized by yelling, name-calling, sarcasm, mocking, putting down, belittling, embarrassing or
intimidating. Ann said that they had no friends because of Bill's behavior. He was forced into early retirement by his company due to alienation of upper management.

Bullies Often Have Personality Disorder

Like many bullies, Bill had a deep sense of insecurity about himself. He completely lacked empathy or the ability to perceive how he was negatively affecting others.

He honestly didn't see himself as the problem and was constantly in dismay when others around him were devastated or offended by his behavior. Bill had what is known as a "narcissistic" personality disorder. He was only capable of interpreting
events from his perspective. Pre-occupied with himself , he had little regard or understanding of the feelings of others.

Can Bullies Change?

While research shows that most bullies are unable to make deep changes to their personality, they are sometimes able to modify their behavior to the extent that they are more tolerable.

Usually, the motivation to change is inspired by outside influences such as employers, spouses, or children. Bill, for instance, desperately wanted his wi.fe back as he truly loved her to the extent he was able to experience love. Other bullies we have seen in anger management classes decided to change at the threat of losing their job. Jim, a line supervisor in a chemical plant, fell into this category.

The Case of Jim

An "old-school" manager, Jim often yelled and threatened employees to motivate them to produce more, thinking his behavior would be seen as positive by the company executives.

Unfortunately, too many employees complained, resulting in his being referred to Human Resources for intervention. Turns out, Jim didn't want to be seen as a bully, had no awareness others were seeing him that way, and most certainly didn't want to lose his job of over 25 years.

Thus, he was highly motivated to acquire more effective skills to relate to employees while still maintaining a high rate of production.

He did well in anger management as he learned our tools of anger control— particularly the tool of "empathy" which includes increased social awareness (seeing how he is coming across to others) as well as more sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Unfortunately, not all bullies are as responsive to intervention as Jim was. Many bullies remain bullies because they don't see themselves as the problem. In this case, you may have to learn how to cope with their behavior, if you are in an unfortunate situation such that you need to continue to be with them but survive.

Four Ways To Cope

* Focus on the positive attributes of the bully and try to ignore the negative parts. For instance, Bill had a very sweet and generous side to him when not being a bully — a side Ann could learn to focus on to survive the unpleasant times.

* Be confident and look your bully in the eye. Speak in a calm and clear voice while asserting yourself by naming the behavior you don't like and state what is expected instead.

* Create a distraction or change the subject. Try using humor or a well chosen word to disarm the bully.

* Give the bully's ego what it needs. For instance, Ann learned to praise Bill more and give him more cre.dit and acknowledgement for things he did do well. While this tactic is a little manipulatory, it nevertheless worked well to decrease the number of times Bill bullied her. And it allowed Ann to survive a difficult situation.


2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Dr. Tony Fiore is The Anger Coach. New anger resources are now available Anger Management for the 21st Century: The 8 tools of Anger Control print and ebook,bonuses www.stopyouranger.com. Chëck our Anger in the News blog and comment at: www.angernews.
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EMOTIONS STRESS US. So does our lifestyle these days. The only defense you have against viruses is your immune system, and it is stressed by emotions, lifestyle, allergens, toxins and so forth. So fortify your immune system with a good neutraceutical like Arbonne's GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLMENT or DEFENSE BUILDER.

Thanks be to the Teachers of the World

THANKS BE TO THE TEACHERS OF THE WORLD (gk)

~ GO GET THE KNOWLEDGE ~ of the difference between good and evil, or whatever else captures your fancy. Check out REPLAY: Knowledge you've always craved, deliciously peeled, cored, seeded, diced, sliced and served up to you by the greatest teachers in the US. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.

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About today's story, Garrison Keillor's "American Gratitude"

My Schwimmfuehrer ultimately threw me out of the row boat to make it back to shore. Or not.

Yes, I cried. Yes, I was mad. Yes, I made it. Yes, I was proud of myself.

In this way, he taught me something more vital than just how to swim. He taught me how to know when I knew it well enough ... when to quit hanging on and take off ... when to quit asking head-questions and live the answers ... when to quit pretending I don't know how/am too young/too old/too dumb/too smart/too hurt/too confused/too little/too scared, and just do it. In other words, how to remove myself from the horns of my own dilemma.

GO TEACHERS! Some of the greatest are ready to teach you at THE REPLAY STORE.

There's a great anecdote in EQ-land, about that bastion of brainiacs, the University of Chicago. Not that there's anything wrong with brainiacs. For some unknown (but lovely) reason, it still remains a requirement for graduation from that venerable institution (which has produced some of the best economists we have) that one must pass a swimming test. Sing ho! for the classic education.

The "final," of course, takes place in Lake Michigan.

Simon showed up one fine day last year to take the final, jumped into the water on cue, and proceeded to flail, flounder and sink. Fast forward to when the ambulance crew had succeeded in resuscitating him, and the dean put forth the obvious question: "Young man, what made you think you knew how to swim?"

Simon's reply: "I'd read all the books about it."

Now our article . . .
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American gratitude
We bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. But we still have so much to give thanks for.
By Garrison Keillor

Nov. 23, 2005 | Family, friends, good health (knock on wood), lots to be thankful for, including this $1.59 Rollerball pen and its flowing cursive line that makes me feel as elegant as Michel de Montaigne.

Gratitude makes sense for an American. We occupy a bountiful country of great civility (yes, really) and robustness and freedom, and if not the No. 1 Country in the World, nonetheless it has some great stuff, including Lake Superior, the Supreme Court, the Greatest Show on Earth, the Four Tops ("Baby, I Need Your Loving") and the World's Largest Ball of Twine Ever Rolled by One Man (12 feet in diameter) in Darwin, Minn. Cawker City, Kan., claims a bigger one, but it's more oblong and was done by committee.

Truly we should be thankful.

And we do try to be. But the English language is so rich in terms of complaint and insult and groaning and rather sparse in the Exaltation Dept., so the Lord doesn't get praised as He should. Instead, we bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. After all, we're descended from people who considered rejoicing to be bad luck: It tempts fate. So they grumbled about the weather, politicians, children, popular music, new cars, anything modern, and complained about their health year after year until they died and went to heaven, where no doubt they are a little edgy even now -- nice place, paradise -- a little surprised at who else is here, harrumph, harrumph, but never mind -- plenty of bliss, no tears and so forth -- not sure how long it can last, but we shall see.

As for me, I am grateful for the functional. In our home, we are going through a series of malfunctioning coffeemakers that sputter and vomit quarts of hot brown sediment on the kitchen counter and floor, and that makes me grateful for things like this pen, which really is a pleasure.

Or Google, which can bring up 2.3 million references in .03 seconds, none of which sheds light on the subject, but they distract you so that instead of writing about "The Mill on the Floss" by George Eliot, you get interested in dental hygiene.

I'm glad for the E-ticket, which frees us from standing in line at the airline counter so that we can swiftly go stand in line at the security check.

And for the chat room, which frees everyone from inhibitions so that we can find out how much we'd rather not know about other people.

And let us all be thankful for the newspaper, a truly useful object. The press is the watchdog of a free society, and while TV reporters are styling their hair and practicing winsome facial expressions, newspaper reporters are on the phone, knocking on doors, doing the work, holding power accountable. And you read their work and absorb something from it, or not, and then you spread the newspaper out on the floor and it absorbs paint drips, or you pack it in a box around fragile objects, or you roll it up and swat cockroaches, or stuff it into cracks to keep the wind out, or stuff it under the kindling and light the fire -- one simple thing with six distinct uses. Or you can recycle it and it will transcend into cardboard. You can't do that with images on a screen.

These days I am grateful beyond words for a swimming teacher, Alyssa, who is a functional person of a very high order. Twice a week, she takes my sandy-haired, gap-tooth daughter in tow and puts her through her paces. Alyssa is young, blond, brimming with confidence, with broad shoulders and a car horn voice. She hollers, "Kickickickickickkick" and "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO" and the little girl puts her head down and swims for all she's worth. A few months ago, she was timid in the water, like me, and now she is a fish, all thanks to her wonderful teacher, a taskmaster with a sense of humor, who is in the pool with her pupils, unlike the Schwimmfuehrer of my youth who strode alongside the pool and showered us with contempt and ridicule. Alyssa's gift is enormous to us. My daughter gets a taste of discipline and success and this makes me very happy. So much that is dismal and destructive in the world, but for me, the joy of a 7-year-old girl putting on her swim goggles almost makes up for it. Thanks be to God for the teachers of the world.

Happy Thanksgiving.

um, how could he forget the bottom of the bird cage??
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THE REPLAY STORE. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.

Brain Cramps

BRAIN CRAMPS

On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

The Answer is Salt - Work, Tears, and the Sea

HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Please visit MY WEBSITE for articles, resources, quotes beautiful holiday music, inspiration and more. And take a look at Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music while you're there, as we'll be cruising on into the holiday season from here.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." (Cicero)

THANKS!

You are listening to Shall We Gather at the River?

Do you love Thanksgiing music? Do you LIVE for Christmas music? Symphonies? Operas? Sonatas? Piano music? Beethovennnn ... Mozart ... Chopin. All music?
If a holiday wouldn’t be a holiday without music, join CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC - DEDICATED TO DR. JOHN J. ALIFANO, JR., TO WHOM MANY PEOPLE OWE THEIR LIVES AND THEIR EDUCATIONS. Click HERE to join.

Brought to you by Susan Dunn, Your EQ Coach.
I am grateful for your support, affirmations, the chance to serve you and the pleasure of your company on our mutual journeys. Thank you for your referrals and for making our EQ Alive! the #1 coach certification program!

We celebrate gratitude in our daily lives.

PRAYER

God, when I have food, help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work, help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a home, help me to remember those who have no home at all;
When I am without pain, me to remember those who suffer,
And remembering,
Help me to destroy my complacency;
and be concerned enough to help;
By word and deed, those who cry out for what we take for granted.

CHECK OUT THIS THANKSGIVING CARD FROM JACQUIE LAWSON

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was 'thank you' that would suffice." Meister Eckhart

"The Pilgrims built 7 times as many graves as they did huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving." H. U. Westermayer

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words; but to live by them." -John F. Kennedy

For more quotes, articles, resources, musics, anticipations of Christmas, tips on enjoying Thanksgiving more, and inspiration, go HERE ( www.susandunn.cc/thanksgiving.htm ).

Thanksgiving, the only remaining holiday we celebrate in the US with no commerical, materialistic overtones. We give thanks, not gifts.

Children and Thanksgiving

WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN AT THANKSGIVING AND ALL YEAR ROUND?

"How wonderful it would be if we could help our children and grandchildren
to learn thanksgiving at an early age. Thanksgiving opens the doors. It
changes a child’s personality. A child is resentful, negative - - or thankful. Thankful children want to give, they radiate happiness, they draw people."
~ Sir John Templeton
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Email me - sdunn@susandunn.cc - for my special Thanksgiving gift, "Thanks" in words and art. Put "thanks" for subject line.
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ARBONNE BABY PRODUCTS. Your child will be thankful you used it. What we put on our skin is absorbed into our bloodstream. Your baby needs pure ingredients. Allergies start with too-early exposure to toxic substances, and allergies deplete our immune system, our ONLY line of defense against viruses.

Don't Let Allergies Ruin Your Thanksgiving

DON'T LET ALLERGIES RUIN YOUR THANKSGIVING
Writing this from Dallas, Texas one of the ragweed hotspots of the nation, I'm particularly aware of "allergies" and the havoc they can cause. Here are some facts about allergies:

More than 50 million Americans suffer from allergies. Ragweed pollen is probably he largest single seasonal allergen in North America. It is estimated that one square mile of ragweed plants would release 16 tons of pollen in one season. Even skin contact with ragweed can cause dermatitis.

An allergy is “…a heightened sensitivity to a foreign substance (called n “allergen”) which causes the body’s defense system (the immune system)to overreact when defending itself. Normally, the immune system would only react if a harmful substance such as a bacteria attacked the body. But for people with “allergies,” their own immune system is working too hard and it reacts even when relatively harmless substances such as pollen are present. The severity of an allergic reaction
can vary from mild discomfort to life threatening situations." [Source: www.pollen.com]

Because of this assault on the immune system, it’s crucially important to take supplements that nutritionally support the immune system. You can read about it here: http://tinyurl.com/9jzsf . By the previous definition, you can see that an already assaulted immune system becomes further assaulted with allergens. Our immune system is our health, our first line of defense for bacteria, for instance, and our ONLY line of defense for viruses. While we have antibiotics for bacteria, there is no know cure for a virus, as you know.

2. Prepare ahead of time by getting the necessary information.

Sign up at http://www.pollen.com/Pollen.com.asp and be alerted in the morning of conditions likely to exceed the trigger point, the point where most allergy sufferers will start to experience symptoms.

If you have a website, you can be of service to others. Probably 25% of your website visitors suffer from allergies. At http://www.pollen.com/Pollen.com.asp, you can get the html to put a pollen alert box on your website – either a zip code entry box or for any town in the U.S.

The most extreme allergic reaction is called "anaphylactic shock." Immediately after contact the individual will suffer difficulty breathing, itchiness, welling of the lips and throat, and drop in blood pressure, and finally collapse. If you've ever suffered anaphylactic shock, you should carry injectable adrenaline from your doctor and keep some at home as well. Have the 911 number handy, and seek medical attention immediately.

It’s also important to know that subsequent contact with a particular allergen can be much worse then the first time; for instance, if you’re stung by a bee. Instead of building up “resistance,” you build up “sensitivity.” That's why people talk about their allergies coming on suddenly. Everything’s fine, they’re 30 years old, and one night they have beer and shell fish and end up in the ER. “Out of the blue,” they say.

Likewise, normally innocent foodstuffs such as peanuts, which don’t bother one person can actually kill someone else who’s susceptible. One way to determine what you're allergic to is to see your personal physician.

Allergic conditions include:

(1) Hay fever and allergic asthma. Pollen from grasses, ragweed and trees, mold and dust can all cause respiratory and nasal problems.

(2) Eczema. A special form of skin reaction. Cement dust is
particularly likely to cause this.

(3) Urticaria (itchy hives). Most of us get this from nettles. You can also get this from strawberries, seafood, cheese; it depends.

Once the allergy is established, you must remove the cause or avoid it. Here are some tips:

1. Wear hypoallergenic gloves.

2. Use a filter in the vacuum cleaner to remove dust mite droppings and an air filter on your A/C which you clean often. Also clean the ducts.

3. Remove heavy drapes and bedspreads from the bedroom and replace with blinds. Tear up old carpeting and replace with tile or wood flooring with no area rugs.

4. Keep your immune system built up with a product like Arbonne's DefenseBuilder or rebuild it with Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement.

5. Use protective clothing when handling material such as cement. Use a filter face mask when in dusty areas and when mowing the lawn in high pollen areas.

6. Check food labels for potentially allergenic ingredients such as peanut products, wheat, gluten and corn. Again, an allergy test from your personal physician can alert you to potential problems.

It is extremely important that you avoid irritants such as mineral oil, fragrances of any sort, and impure ingredients in your cosmetics, shaving cream, makeup, and skin lotions. What you put on your skin irritates there, and then is absorbed into your blood stream where it causes further problems. Choose well-researched, dematologist-approved, fragrance and mineral-oil free, scientifically-proven nutritional supplements, cosmetics, lotions and shaving cream.

ARBONNE - HYPO-ALLERGENIC PRODUCTS GOOD TO YOU, AND GOOD FOR YOU

There is some evidence that allergen sensitivity builds from a too-early introduction to certain substances. Consider the generation born in the late 40s that is basically allergic to orange juice because of having been introduced to it in the hospital, virtually at birth since there was no other way to prevent scurvy at the time and it was considered good medicine. No pediatrician these days would recommend you give orange juice, egg white and other things to your child before the age of one year. Continue this prudent and safe care by using only safe baby products for skin and bath. You can find some here.

Living with allergies and allergens is a 24/7 prospect for all of us. You can’t move away from them, and you can’t get rid of them all, so eliminate the offenders that you can since the effect is cumulative, and stay informed.

EQ and Neutraceuticals for your health, http://tinyurl.com/9jzsf . Email for FR** EQ ezine.

Help for the Thaksgiving Meltdown

Well, the big day is almost here! I just received an article through my list saying you should’ve had it all planned out 10 days before, and that’s past, of course, so – as a former giver of events, and a long-time hostess, chef and bottle-washer for the Thanksgiving Feast, let me help you out!

Be completely traditional. Having just attended several early Feasts at offices I visit, let me assure you, there’s nothing like it. Yes, that deep-fried turkey is great (so I’m told), and some Emeril creation is designer-impressive, but what people love is the same old traditional things, so here goes.

1. Get a frozen Butterball. You can’t beat it. Extensive directions on the label, and also on their website. Everyone wants to help you with your turkey!

2. Stuffing – well, in the south it will be cornbread, and in the north, white bread, but Pepperidge Farm sells them both in packets to which you add chicken broth (buy it in a can, or like I just did – in a box, free range chicken and fat free) . Start by sautéing 1 medium onion and 2 stalks of celery, cubed, in about 2 T. of butter. Then follow the directions on the bad, and add to the sautéed veggies. Add pecans or walnuts if you like, at the end, water chestnuts, whatever strikes your fancy. Raisins I’ve seen! (Plenty of recipes on the Internet.)

3. Mashed potatoes. With that great turkey gravy you can even get by with mashed potato flakes. I saw a woman in the office break room the other day mixing it up right there with nothing but a microwave, and they were great.

4. That green bean casserole. All it takes is opening cans – a can of mushroom sauce, a can of those French onion rings.

5. The pies? Many people buy them frozen, or from Marie Callenders or a caterer, but I encourage you to make your own. It’s a real treat. Pie crust is the easiest thing in the world if you use more shortening than is required, and make the 2-pie crust recipe for just one. Then you don’t have to worry about making the crust on the edges nice and high. Get a can of pumpkin pie mix with the evaporated milk. Grocery stores now batch these items so you don’t have to hunt. For the crust, use the extra dough. Roll it out again and use a cookie cutter to cut out some shapes and place them on top – I use fall leaves!

6. Buy two pints of whipping cream and make your own. Makes all the difference. Recipe on carton. All you need is an electric mixer. Use vanilla in it, nothing else. Far, far better than cool whip. It's those touches that make the difference in your meal.

And now, my two favorite recipes for the sweet potatoes, or yams as they’re called in the south.

SUSAN’S SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE

Bake 3 large yams in the oven at 350 till tender. Test with a knife. When it goes through without resistance, they’re done.

Mash with 4 T. butter, ¾ C. brown sugar, and a dash of cinnamon. Put into a greased casserole. Put marshmallows all over the top. Put back in the oven at serving time until marshmallows are brown, and casserole is heated. You can add raisins and nuts if you like – about ½ cup of each should do it, but we like it plain.

And the piece de resistance (the best part) my Special Topping for Apple Pie. I should add that I fix pumpkin and mincemeat pies, but this apple pie is the one that everyone eats. Instead of putting regular crust on top sprinkle the following on top and bake the usual way.

APPLE PIE TOPPING

1/3 cup butter
¾ cup light brown sugar
¾ cup sifted flour

Cream butter till soft, blend in brown sugar. Mix in flour till mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle these crumbs over the top of the apples.

p.s. If the gravy panics you, I’d don’t recommend you buy the canned or packaged product. Rather shop around town for a caterer that sells it. It will be worth every cent. Likely it’s frozen and you can stop by tonight. If you need help, give me a call - 210-496-0678.

And don't leave out the most important ingredient -- the gratitude!
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A PRAYER FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING
==========
From a client ...
"Thank you very much for all the time you spent with me on the phone, and thank you for being so understanding and caring. I can tell that you truly care about people and helping them with their lives." Warmest aloha, M.E.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc or call 210-496-0678.
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The holidays can be excruciating for those who are suffering, in pain, or surviving recent losses. We offer ...

A PRAYER FOR THANKSGIVING FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING

God, make me brave for life;
oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain
as the tree straightens after the rain,
shining and lovely again.

God, make me brave for life;
much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts,
let me rise from sorrow with quiet eyes,
knowing Thy way is wise.

God, make me brave --
Life brings such blinding things
Help me to keep my sight,
help me to see aright
that out of darkness
comes light.
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The EQ Way to Market Your Business/Services

LET US HELP YOU MARKET YOURSELF, YOUR BUSINESS, PRODUCTS AND SERVICES WITH EQ

Let's start off with a guest article called "Make Sure Prospepcts Know How You Differ from Other Lawyers and You'll be Miles Ahead of Competitors," by Trey Ryder

Are you the same as all other lawyers? Of course not. But do your prospects and clients know how you're different?

Everything you do to attract new clients and maintain current client relationships should clearly state how you differ from other lawyers.

One of the most important functions of marketing is to emphasize the ways you differ from your competitors. Yet if you interviewed your prospects and clients, they might tell you one lawyer is the same as another.

Everything you do to attract new clients and maintain current client relationships should clearly state how you differ from other lawyers.

Some time back, I heard the marketing director at a large law firm say that her lawyers weren't any different from lawyers at dozens of large firms. If she truly believes that, the firm needs a new marketing director because she just surrendered in the face of her competitors.

No two competing attorneys are exactly the same. No other attorney on the planet has exactly the same education as you. No other lawyer has served the same clients -- or handled the same cases -- as you. No other lawyer has taken the same continuing education classes as you. As a result, no other lawyer will make decisions exactly the way you do.

Whether this makes you liberal or conservative, aggressive or passive, here's the point: Every bit of information and experience that you absorb affects how you provide advice and services to your clients. Your advice and services are not like those provided by any other lawyer. You should promote your uniqueness as one of your major competitive advantages.

Competitive advantages and disadvantages are determined ONLY by what is important to your prospects and clients. If you've been in practice 20 years, you could conclude that your tenure is a considerable competitive advantage. But if your prospects don't
care whether their lawyer has practiced for 20 years or 5 years, it's no advantage at all, at least not to that group of prospects.

Here's your assignment: The positive ways you differ from other lawyers are your competitive advantages. The negative ways you differ are your competitive disadvantages. Identify both so you know your strengths and weaknesses.

Look at the following lists from your prospective clients' point of view. Write down your answers to each question and then label whether you think the answer is an advantage (A), a disadvantage (D), or whether it is neutral (N) in your prospects eyes.

Look first in these areas:

Evaluate your qualifications: Where did you graduate from law school? How long have you practiced law? To which courts are you admitted to practice? Which, if any, certifications have you received? List your professional memberships in bar associations, bar sections, lawyers' groups, and the like.

Evaluate your experience: Overall, how wide or narrow is the area of law in which you practice? What types of cases or problems do you handle? Specifically, what types of cases or problems are you most experienced at handling? Do you have experience in one particular area at which you could be considered an expert? If so, in which area? What specialized skills do you have? Are there any types of cases in your area of the law where you don't have much experience?

Evaluate how you serve clients: What specific services do you provide? How long do clients wait for their case to be resolved? How long does it take you to return phone calls? If a prospect or client needs to see you right away, how soon can he
meet with you? How much do clients typically pay for services? How pleased are clients with the results?

Evaluate the physical environment in which you serve clients: Is your office location convenient for your clients? Can your clients easily find a parking space? Covered or uncovered? Do your clients have to pay to park? Is your complex physically
attractive and inviting? Is your office easy to find and easy to walk to in your complex? Is your office reception area attractive and inviting? Is the furniture comfortable? Are your magazines current? (Recently, I picked up a magazine in a
doctor's reception room that was 11 years old.) Does someone greet your guests and offer them something to drink when they enter your reception area?

Evaluate your office or the room where you meet with clients: Is the furniture comfortable? Is the room neat and orderly? Are the floor and windows clean? Do you sit with clients on the same side of your desk? Do you sit across the desk from clients, allowing the desk to form a barrier between you and your guests? If you use education-based marketing, your educational efforts become a significant competitive advantage.

Evaluate your office procedures when you're involved in client meetings: Do you insist on no interruptions? Do you bar phone calls except in emergencies? Do you give your guests your undivided attention? Do you allow guests enough time to discuss
their problem?

One more important advantage: If you use education-based marketing, your educational efforts become a significant competitive advantage. People who request your educational materials, as well as your existing clients, receive your monthly newsletter. They receive invitations to your seminars. You invite them to call you with their legal questions. And so forth. In this way, the marketing method you choose can be a major competitive advantage that leaves other firms in your dust.

If you think of anything else that distinguishes you from other lawyers, add it to this list.

Your competitive advantages benefit you only if you make them known to your prospects. So start by memorizing the many ways you're different. When you talk with prospective clients, explain your competitive advantages as part of your conversation. Likewise, in your written materials, feature your competitive advantages because those are the reasons prospects Hire you.


TREY RYDER LLC Education-Based Marketing for Lawyers. Lawyer Marketing Advisor http://www.TreyRyder.com Trey Ryder is the Lawyer Marketing Department Sponsor For Jersey Justice. http://www.JerseyJustice.com
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I know there are some things you can apply here to your own business, or anything else you "sell" like yourself for a new job or relationship! EQ means applying emotions and logic to whatever needs attention.

It's what we do. Let us help you market. Consultation, web critique and design, business cards, programs, brochures. What you need to make your business grow.
Call me at 210-496-0678 or mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for procedures and fees.

Cell Phone EQ

ETIQUETTE? IT REQUIRES EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE
Guest article by D. Ruplinger

Owning a cell phone can be a lot of fun. It's portable, convenient, and is comforting to have when driving alone late at night. But now that there are millions of people who own cell phones, proper cell phone etiquette is becoming a concern.

Owning a cell phone doesn't give a person a right to be rude or inconsiderate of others. It may be okay to take your phone with you and have it on while you are in business settings, with the exception of business meetings, but it's not okay in some social settings.

People in a movie theater aren't going to appreciate it if your cell phone is ringing during a movie. They'll be even moreannoyed if you answer it and talk during the movie. A nice leisurely dinner at a restaurant can be ruined if someone at the table next to you has their phone on and is taking calls. I've even been in church near someone who apparently thought it was okay to take a call during services. I was close enough to hear what was being said and it definitely was not an urgent call.

Yes, sometimes it may be necessary to have your cell phone on even if you are in a restaurant, theater, concert hall, or meeting. In those situations, put the phone on vibrate. If the phone goes off, discreetly check to see who is calling. If it is necessary to talk to the caller, excuse yourself and go to a quiet area out of earshot of the other diners, theater patrons, etc. and return the call.

In some parts of the world wireless phone jamming devices have been installed in public places so that your phone just won't work. In many other places, signs are starting to pop up telling people to turn off their cell phones in both public and private buildings. Not turning off a cell phone can even cost a person money. In New York City, there's a $50 fine for breaking a bylaw that prohibits the use of mobile/cell phones at all indoor performances.

A person can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. If people demonstrate consideration for others there won't be the need for more jamming devices, more "no cell phone" signs, and more laws being passed to fine users who don't obey the "no cell phone" rules. Make sure the voice mail is set up on your phone. Encourage people to leave a message for you if you are not able to answer the phone. Then return the call as soon as you can. But make sure to return the call. Just as it is inconsiderate to take a call in a restaurant or theater, etc. it is also inconsiderate to not return a call in a timely manner.

By D Ruplinger is a featured writer for Http://www.cellphoneshome.com. For more information about cell phones visit http://www.cellphoneshome.com.
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Self Sabotage - Is that You?

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ARE YOU DOING YOURSELF IN AS ONLY YOU CAN??

There’s a joke circling the Internet right now about a priest, a drunk and an engineer who are facing the guillotine. Each one is asked in turn how he wants to die, face up or face down. The priest is first, and he says “face up” so he can be looking at heaven. Down comes the blade, there’s a hitch and it stops 6” from his neck. Considering it divine intervention, they free him.

Same thing happens with the drunk, who decides to go with a winner and choose what the priest chose. Six inches from his neck it stops, and he’s allowed to go free as well.

Then it’s the engineer’s turn. He’s smart enough to go with a winning strategy as well. As he lies there watching the blade descend, he gets an “ah hah” moment. “I think I know what’s wrong with it,” he cries out in delight. “The cable’s binding right here…”

This joke happens to be a classic illustration of the kind of self-sabotaging we do when we have high IQ, but low EQ (emotional intelligence). EQ, you see, isn’t just about emotions, it’s the interface between emotions and thinking. It’s the kind of skills we have that allow us to make good decisions, have good relationships, and succeed. It may well matter more in life than IQ, as this joke points out so graphically. Here is this brilliant engineer, used to problem-solving mechanical things, who proceeds to use his intellect without really thinking, and gets himself killed … you know, shoots himself in the foot.

Self-sabotage is what we do when we aren’t able to manage the emotions around a situation, or don’t stop and think about the possible consequences of our actions (and actions include words). Like the person who gets reprimanded by the boss and forgets himself and takes a punch.

Who else sabotages themselves?

· The employee who gets lulled around the water cooler at the job and forgets that self-deprecating remarks can and will be used against her.
· The salesman who has the order in his pocket, but can’t quit talking, and proceeds to grab defeat from the jaws of victory.
· The man who’s so nervous on the job interview he giggles, babbles, and spills his coffee all over the interviewer’s desk.
· The impulsive married man who is sexually attracted to someone at work and has an affair with them, and then, to make himself feel better, confesses to his spouse and boss.
· The athlete who lets his temper get the best of him on the court.
· The manager who has the knack of intimidating the employee who needs sensitivity, and placating the employee who needs firmness.
· The student who learns all the material and then clutches when it’s exam time.
· The individual who lets setbacks, rejections and losses send them into a downward spiral of negativity, depression and pessimism.
· The actress who gets stage fright and freezes in fear in front of an audience.
· The worker who sets goals but is too scattered, emotional, and disorganized to carry them out.
· The coach who misreads his athletes, expects too much or too little of them, and tries to motivate by intellect or intimidation alone

Success in all the important things in life requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. The person who knows how to get along, can plan ahead, manage their emotions and those of others, generate options, act with intent, maintain the appropriate degree of sensitivity to their environment, and remain optimistic enough to persevere, will always have the edge. Whether it’s leadership, a better marriage, a promotion, or respect you’re after, the key can be developing your EQ.

The good news is that it can be learned. Just as you continually increase your expertise and academic learning, you can work with a coach or mentor who can explain the competencies to you, help you gain the necessary self-awareness, and give you exercises and feedback. Many people I’ve coached in EQ call it “the missing piece.” However, it’s not something you can just read about. It’s not like memorizing the chemical elements, or listening to a beautiful piece of music and appreciating it, or taking notes at a one-day seminar. It requires identifying the skills, understanding what they look like in use, and then practicing them in real-life situations, with constructive feedback, and practice.

Becoming mindful, and have many choices in your mental, physical, mental and behavioral repertoire will give you the edge. If you find you often turn left when you should’ve turned right, or feel or have been called “clueless,” or you seem stuck and are unable to move forward, why not give it a try? It’s a lot better to be a self-enhancer than a self-saboteur.
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The Result of Panic

A LUXURY CRUISE WOULD HAVE BEEN CHEAPER

Emotional Intelligence is about the interface between thinking and feeling. If we act on emotion without thinking it through, we have panic, and the decisions aren't always good.

For instance, consider the $236 Million Cruise Ship Deal in an article written by Jonathan Weisman for The Washington Post

It begins ...

"On Sept. 1, as tens of thousands of desperate Louisianans packed the New Orleans Superdome and convention center, the Federal Emergency Management Agency pleaded with the U.S. Military Sealift Command: The government needed 10,000 berths on full-service cruise ships, FEMA said, and it needed the deal done by noon the next day.

The hasty appeal yielded one of the most controversial contracts of the Hurricane Katrina relief operation, a $236 million agreement with Carnival Cruise Lines for three ships that now bob more than half empty in the Mississippi River and Mobile Bay. The six-month contract -- staunchly defended by Carnival but castigated by politicians from both parties -- has come to exemplify the cost of haste that followed Katrina's strike and FEMA's lack of preparation."

The article continues to point out that IF the ships were at capacity with 7,116 evacuees, for six months (which they are not), the price per evacuee would total $1,275 a week (according to calculations by aides to Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.). A seven-day western Caribbean cruise out of Galveston can be had for $599 a person -- and that would include entertainment and the cost of actually making the ship move.

CAN YOU STAND TO READ SOME MORE?

The federal government, which is to say YOU AND ME, would actually save millions of dollars by literally sending the evacuees on a luxurious six-month cruise.

Carnival claims it won't make any money on this - not any more that it would have if it had kept the ships in regular service.

Apparently Sealift Command had bids from 13 ships, but only 4 met FEMA requirements, and get the requirements -- full meal service, between-meal snacks, linen and maid service, medical support, even prescription refills. (3 of the 4 were owned by Carnival.)

Wouldn't you think the evacuees could be helping with some of the "service"? Just a thought.

But the evacuees aren't stupid, and here's another reason why -- the ships aren't full because many evacuees "saw the ships as a dead end, far away from any job or potential new life."

At the peak, the ships were nearly full, but now there are 625 on the Ecstasy (capacity 2,544), and 820 aboard the Sensation (capacity 2,579). The Holiday has 342 aboard.

If you would like to read the full article, and/or email it to a friend, go here.
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Were You the First Born?

WHAT'S YOUR BIRTH ORDER?

There are lots of things that influence our emotional lifestyle and personality. One of them is birth order. I used to listen to some cousins debate who "had it worse" -- the oldest, the youngest, the one in between.have debates with my cousins about "which was worse." Each birth order has its plusses and minuses, and its consequences. Take the Birth Order Predictor and see what you think.

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

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Who Can You Trust?

WE PLACE THE MOST TRUST IN THE PERSON WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO DECEIVE US

"Love, Lies, Betrayal, And Deceit - Why Do We Lie To Those We Love?" by Timothy Cole

Why do husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, lie to each other?

Our romantic relationships are seldom what they seem. We all want a relationship that is built on openness, intimacy, and trust, but the truth is, our relationships do not always work that way. More often than not, our intimate relationships involve secrecy and deceit. In fact, if you want to look for deception and betrayal in your own life, the best place to start is close to home. Husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, often lie about their true feelings for each other, the feelings they have for others, and their level of commitment. Indeed, it is safe to say that people save their biggest and most serious lies for those they love.

For better or worse, our romantic relationships are full of paradoxes which we try to overlook, downplay and ignore. For the most part, this strategy works well. Until the day comes when it doesn't, and with little warning or preparation we have to confront face-on the reality that our close relationships are not exactly what they appear to be.

Eventually, almost everyone will catch a spouse or partner in one of their lies. Inevitably, we have a difficult time coping with what we have learned and dealing with the fact that someone close has betrayed our trust. We do not expect our partners to mislead us, nor do we have insight into how and why deception occurs.

In fairness, it should also be mentioned that it is just as likely that a partner or spouse will catch you in one of your own attempts to deceive. And ironically, we are just as unprepared to deal with this kind of situation.

Ignoring the paradoxes inherent in our romantic relationships turns out to be a costly strategy and most people pay the price for this decision, unexpectedly, and all at once. It's not so much that coming to terms with the use of deception in romantic relationships will solve all of the problems you are going to encounter, but it will certainty help to reduce the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty that occur when deception eventually comes to light.

In fact, when it comes love and romance, most of the things we believe, are not true. Most people believe that all of their marital or relational problems can be solved through "communication." We believe that deception is difficult to achieve, that misleading a partner requires a lot of effort and thought, and that romantic partners can tell when a lover is lying, and so on. None of these widely held beliefs, however, are supported by the evidence. Rather, our romantic relationships are held together by a delicate balance of both candor and deceit. And both are critical to making our intimate relationships work.

In reality, romantic relationships entail two important features which allow deception to flourish: abundant opportunity, as well as the need to deceive. As we get close to another person, we intentionally and unintentionally provide them with a great deal of information about who we are, revealing ourselves through both our words and deeds. Creating this kind of intimacy or shared knowledge is critical, as it serves as the foundation for a lot of important rewards. Through our close relationships, we create gains with respect to our health, wealth, and emotional well-being.

Because relationships provide so many important rewards, it should come as no surprise that people are inclined to view their romantic partners in a positive light. We place a lot of trust in our romantic partners. We think we know them well. But while our trust surely provides us with a sense of security and comfort, it also lays the ground for deceit. For as we trust our partners more, we also become more confident but less accurate at determining when the truth is being told.

Every relevant study attests to the fact that lovers are terrible at telling when their partners are lying. In fact, detecting deception with anyone is difficult to do, but lovers manage to take this general failure to a spectacular low. Again, as we become more confident that we can tell when a lover is lying, the exact opposite turns out to be true. This "truth-bias" or "blind faith" provides the perfect opportunity for romantic partners to engage in deception. After all, who makes a better victim than someone who is eager and willing to trust everything you have to say?

Not only do close relationships create a wonderful opportunity for deception to occur, they also create the need. While romantic relationships offer many rewards, they also tend to be overly constrictive. Most everyone has felt the constraints of a close relationship from time to time; quite simply you are no longer free to do what you want, when you want, and with whom you want. So intimacy provides tremendous rewards, but at an enormous cost - the loss of your freedom and autonomy.

Lying to a romantic partner helps us deal with the constraints that our intimate relationships impose. Quite frankly, deceiving a romantic partner turns out to be the most efficient and effective way of maintaining the rewards we get from our romantic relationships while pursuing extra-relational goals and activities behind a partner's back.

How do we decide when to lie and when to tell the truth? Well, most of the time we do not intentionally think about misleading our partners. Rather such decisions are governed by our emotions and just seem to happen when the right situation presents itself. Often a sense of excitement, opportunity, and exhilaration can lead us down paths we had no intention of traveling. A sense of fear, loss, and trepidation, on the other hand, prompt us to cover-up what we've done and be more conservative in the short-term. Luckily our emotions are very good at reading situations and keeping our deceptive behavior within limits. Our emotions prompt us to regain some of our freedoms while also allowing us to maintain the benefits we get from our intimate relationships.

When you take a step back and put it altogether, the picture that emerges tends to be rather ironic. Because our romantic relationships are so rewarding yet constrictive, we are simultaneously more truthful and more deceptive with those we love. Additionally, we place the most trust in the person who is most likely to deceive us, just as we are most likely to deceive the person who loves and trusts us the most. These are just a few of the paradoxes that emerge when taking a close look at the use of deception in our romantic relationships. Most of what is uncovered runs counter to our most cherished beliefs about love and romance; that is, the idea that complete openness and intimacy are a central and defining feature of being in love.

Initially most people avoid looking for deception by a loved one. But as you begin to examine your own behavior more closely it becomes harder to dismiss the degree to which lies, betrayal, secrecy and deceit are ever present in our close relationships. Hopefully, you will take on a greater appreciation for the complexities of your relationships as well as a richer understanding of what it means to be in love.

Regardless of the final outcome, taking a close look at deception in your life will change the way you view yourself and others.

About The Author: Article by Timothy Cole, PhD. For more information on how, when, and why husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, lie to those they love, visit Truth about Deception.com at http://www.truthaboutdeception.com

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Thanksgiving Dinner Etiquette

THANKSGIVING DINNER ETIQUETTE

The days of dining by plucking fruit from trees and roasting small animals over the fire, eating with fingers, and perhaps fighting with others over the scraps are long gone. Or are they?

More and more we swing our car through the drive-in, grab our food from the window, and proceed to eat with our fingers, so perhaps you need a brush-up on the basics of formal – shall we say “civilized” dining – before the great Thanksgiving feast.

Rules of civilized dining evolved because, according to Margaret Visser (“Rituals of Dinner”), “animals are slaughtered and consumed, the guest-host relationship is … a complicated interweaving of the imposition of obligation and the suspension of hostility, and the ordinary table knife is related to actual weapons of war.”

Utensils were to be handled delicately, so as not to alarm. For instance, the knife was not to be held in the fist, like a weapon, nor pointed threateningly at anyone, and conversation was to be gentle, not provocative.

Now for a review of the basics on how to be the consummate Thanksgiving guest.

1. Respect time.

Arrive on time with a smile on your face and plan to have a good time. Leave on time. If it hasn’t been stated, you will have to use your EQ—your intuition. Watch the host (generis) for subtle cues – the more formal the occasion, the more subtle the cues, i.e., changing position in his chair, sighing, and talking about “what a big day we have tomorrow.” As you say you must leave, expect protesting, and expect to leave anyway. It’s a “formality.”

2. Wear your uniform. Do your job.

Yes, as the guest you have responsibilities. Dress appropriately and festively, and prepare to make it a happy occasion. Note “make.” It doesn’t just happen; those in attendance must make it happen. Eat, drink and behave in moderation.

3. When summoned, obey the summons.

As a long-time PR person, you can’t imagine how we appreciate the “leader type” who, when we say, “It’s time to take you seats,” heads for the dining room and beckons her friends to come along; and when the hostess says, “Shall we retire to the living room for coffee,” does the same.

4. Observe protocol.

Age before rank. “Special” people would be the great-grandmother, then if you’ve invited your boss, or there’s a guest of honor. The most special person “sitteth on the right hand” of the host and hostess, who are seated at opposite ends of the table. If there are not place cards, it’s appropriate to ask, “Where would you like us to sit?”

5. Once seated, stay awake!

Look to your hostess to lead. At this meal even the most unsuspecting people will say a grace, for instance. The hostess will indicate when to start passing things, and when she starts to eat, you may eat. Facilitate the meal for others – start passing the shared items, the salt and pepper (both), the butter, the cranberry sauce, and the gravy.

6. The passing of things.

If your plates are served, then when someone asks for the salt, pick up both the salt and pepper and place them down beside the person next to you. They are not passed hand-to-hand, and only the requesting party may use them. Inefficient? Manners are not about efficiency.

7. Make conversation.

It’s an active thing! At a smaller seating, there may be one general conversation; in a larger group, talk with the people across from you and on either side of you. If you’re conversation-challenged, work with your coach and come up with a list of conversation-starters, i.e., Did you see that great special on PBS last night? What are your plans for Christmas this year? How was the traffic at the airport? What football team are you rooting for? Start training your children young. Help them come up with a list of things to talk about. They’ll love it and feel included.

Your hostess will appreciate if you keep the conversation going, spend some time with the shy people or the octogenarian, and help with awkward silences. At formal dinners, businesses lunches and other dining occasions traditionally when the food is served, everyone starts eating and there’s a silence. Someone needs to “break the ice.” Plan for this and be prepared with a confident and cheery, “It sure gets quiet when the food comes,” or “Marcella, where did you find fresh arugula this time of year?”

8. What about all those utensils and glasses?

The general rule is work from the outside in. Go here to review: http://www.cuisinenet.com/digest/custom/etiquette/manners_intro.shtml

9. Beginnings and endings.

The napkin. When you’re seated, place your napkin in your lap. When you’re finished, place your utensils on your plate; don’t push it away. Place your napkin loosely to the side of your plate.

10. Odds ‘n’ Ends

Sit upward in your chair; don’t lean back. Don’t rest your elbows on the table. It’s permissible to lean forward slightly and rest part of your upper arm on the table. If you take medication, do it discretely and neither mention it nor notice it in others. Something in your mouth you don’t want? The way in is the way out. Spit the olive pit into your palm and place it on your plate. Deposit the turkey bone back on the fork and place in on your plate.

What can you eat with your fingers? Artichokes, plain asparagus, bacon, bread, cookies, corn on the cob, chips, French Fries, hors’ d’oeuvres, sandwiches, small fruits, berries, and cubed cheese. When in doubt, wait and see what your hostess does.
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Foods That Protect the Brain from Aging

BRAIN POWER, THAT'S WHAT WE LOVE! LASTING BRAIN POWER.

So you develop your emotional intelligence, you take a good dietary supplement, you work out ... what else can you do?

Eat these things, according to an article on msn.today from Psychology Today:

"Some edibles are especially good at protecting the brain’s delicate nerve cells and blood vessels from the damage that accompanies aging," the article says. "Most of them squelch free radicals, the renegade oxygen molecules spun off as the brain goes about the business of the mind. Most of the foods that are smartest for the brain are also good for the heart because both rely on a steady oxygen supply. The risks for cardiovascular disease correlate with risks for cognitive decline."

Number One on the list is BLUEBERRIES.

Sweet wild blueberries are bursting with antioxidants, which mop up nasty free radicals. Studies of rats show that a blueberry-rich diet improves memory and motor skills and reverses age-related declines in balance and coordination. Chemicals in blueberries affect the contractile machinery of arteries, and therefore have a good affect on blood pressure. Elevated blood pressure can damage delicate blood vessels in the brain and can lead to strokes.

Others making the top ten are dark leafy greens, salmong, sardines and herring, spinach, red wine, whole grain and brown rise, hot cocoa, nuts, particularly almonds and walnuts, garlic, and olive oil.

FOR THE WHOLE ARTICLE, GO HERE: http://articles.health.msn.com/id/100108099

Goals, Missions, Plan and Purpose Are Worthless without EQ

DEPRESSING, ISN'T IT?


Discovering Your Life Purpose - An Overview
Copyright 2005 So-lu'shunz Management Services

When you look in the mirror, do you see a purposeful,productive, satisfied human being looking back at you, or do you see someone who's caught in the grind, moving on
autopilot, and not having much fun in the process?

How long has it been since you opened your eyes in the morning with a sense of anticipation, yes and even excitement? If you haven't felt that sense of wonder and
expectancy since you were a child, you're not alone, read on!

If this sounds familiar, you're probably also wondering why you're here, whether there is a purpose or if you're an accident? Is there something you should be doing with your life that you're missing? How will you know? And how in heaven's name should you go about it?

Life with a plan is the answer. You're may be thinking, "Oh, no, not that, not another plan!" Ah, but this is a grand plan, one you can truly live by, a freeing plan, not another system to be bound to. This plan works for you not on you!

Today we're introducing the concepts of PURPOSE, MISSION, VISIONS & GOALS. These terms are often confused and mistakenly used interchangeably, when in reality they're
very different, though definitely linked. An understanding of their meanings and the part they play in moving us forward is vital to getting us back to that place of
excitement and anticipation we knew as children.

PURPOSE & MISSION

These two terms are often used interchangeably, but what appears to be a subtle difference is significant to your success. The simple difference is that purpose is what you're made for and mission is what you're meant to do about it.

Each of us has a purpose, a reason we were created. Discovering what that is unlocks our greatest potential and catapults us forward into our destiny.

Mission, from the Latin mittere to send, is the beginning of the adventure. Once we know our purpose for existing in the first place, we can begin the process of discerning our destiny, what we're meant to do about it.

No one is here without purpose and each of us has a mission we are meant to live out. Everyone has sensed at some time that they were meant to be or do something bigger than themselves, a reason for living beyond just getting by. No one is a mistake. Whether you know it or are even able to grasp it, you're here right now, at this particular point in history, for a reason.

No one on earth, from one end of time to another can fill your spot exactly the way you can. You are unique. Even the marks of your fingertips are unlike any that ever were or ever will be again; you're "fearfully and wonderfully made" according to the Book of Psalms. If your very fingerprints bespeak such uniqueness, how much more your purpose for existing!

Once you are certain of your purpose, discovering your mission is an adventure in itself, a journey into the realm of your gifts and talents, a look at what excites you and where your passions lie. It's uncovering and examining those markers that have been there all along pointing the way to the answer to the major questions of your life.

VISIONS

Webster defines vision as the act or power of imagination; mode of seeing or conceiving. It is engaging the mind in conceptualizing. And it's a great activity for the porch swing, walking through the forest preserves, or floating in a boat, loosely attached to a fishing pole.

Visions are the pictures of what you will do about your discovered mission, your reason for being here. If mission is the hub of the wheel, then visions are the spokes. Visions are a lot like oil paintings, colorful, detailed, diverse and they come in all sizes and styles.

They all have in common that they begin as a dream in the mind of an artist and they only appear on canvas when they have become life size on the inside of the visionary and they simply must manifest! When the vision is so real on the inside that you find you can almost operate from within it, it's time to make a path for it into the physical world (see the author's article, Birthing Your Dream).

GOALS

It's at this point that goals come into the plan. According to Webster, one of the synonyms for goal is design, which implies a carefully calculated plan. Goals
are where the rubber meets the road.

You may be thinking "oh no, not more goals. I get goals at work, goals at home, on the school board, from the Chamber of Commerce. No more goals!" But this is where the artist begins preparation to bring the dream to life on canvas; building the frame, stretching the canvas, applying the gesso, choosing and mixing the paints, drawing preliminary sketches. Each step in the process is necessary; each step
pointedly bringing him closer to the realization, in living color, of what until now has been alive and vibrant only in his mind's eye.

It's at this point that she begins the visible work. The rest has been an inner exercise, a function of the mind and heart. Designing goals involves doing the research getting out the slide rule, making the Gantt chart, doing the sketches, calculating the cost. But by this time the vision is so real and the visionary is so ready to burst with it, that the goals are no chore, but a welcome means by which to deliver the dream.

It's only when we confuse the process, mixing up the terms, trying to do them out of order that life becomes a chore. Discover your purpose and your mission, begin to create your visions and design well-crafted goals to support them and bring them to pass and before long you'll be the enthusiastic kid in the mirror again, eager to get out and make a giant splash in the world!

About the Author:

Karin Syren is a certified coach specializing in the EffectivenessCoaching process. She has helped leaders at all levels to increase their personal and professional
effectiveness by guiding them through the process of learning to do less and be more. Gain, regain and maintain control of your life direction and sign up for the FREE introductory DISCOVERING YOUR PURPOSE & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT teleclass, http://www.solushunz.com/pages/3/index.htm .
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NOW THE ONLY THING THAT CAN KEEP YOU FROM YOUR GOAL IS SELF-SABOTAGE and that's where Emotional Intelligence comes in. Despite the sense of purpose and mission, best laid plans, and vision, if you haven't learned emotional intelligence, and can't manage the emotions around it, you will self-sabotage. Take THE EQ ALIVE! PROGRAM. It's rated #1 on EQ.org. It's simple. It works. It's the missing piece.

GO HERE TO CREATE YOUR PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT.
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I would be without it!
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Does emotion belong in the workplace?

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Does emotion belong in the workplace? Tom Peters, Fast Company, thinks so.

"Leaders wear their passion on their sleeve. There's absolutely no question in my mind: Leaders dream in Technicolor. They see the world in brighter colors, sharper images, and higher resolution. Leadership, in the end, is all about having energy, creating energy, showing energy, and spreading energy. Leaders emote, they erupt, they flame, and they have boundless (nutty) enthusiasm. And why shouldn't they? The cold logic of it is unassailable: If you do not love what you're doing, if you do not go totally bonkers for your project, your team, your customers, and your company, then why in the world are you doing what you're doing? And why in the world would you expect anybody to follow you?" --Tom Peters, FAST COMPANY
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Resentful?

Get Rid of Resentments - A Fast, Easy Technique
Author: Rosella Aranda
As human beings, we have a remarkable capacity for recalling events with startling clarity.

Unfortunately, we tend to misuse this ability by focusing on the negative events of our lives. We replay these events over and over again, complete with sight, sound, smells, color and emotional intensity.

What a brilliant capability...and so disastrously applied.

With morbid fascination, we continually replay these events. We end up cementing all that hostility into our minds and flooding our energy with so much negative expectation. And thus we set ourselves up to receive yet more of the same.

This mental rehashing is what the French call "ressentiment"literally "re-feeling." And it is the root of the English word "resentment."

By recalling these hurtful events, often with even greater intensity and rancor than the original event, we unwittingly convince ourselves that we are unworthy of anyone's love and respect, even our own.

The downward spiral of fear and doubt and low self-worth that ensues is devastating. And unfortunately automatic. This snowballing effect continues unless we actively step in to melt down the original cause.

WE NEED TO INITIATE A MELTDOWN

So how do we shut down this masochistic theater?

If you find that gnawing resentments arise with different people and different situations on a regular basis, you need to own up to the fact that the seeds of the problem lie within you and not the entire rest of the world.

In this case, some thorough mental self-examination is in order. If you need to enlist the aid of outside help, so be it. You do not have to go through life with a chip on your shoulder. Nor do you need to be a doormat. There is a pleasant middle ground. I urge you to discover it.

But let's assume for the moment that you are simply dealing with an isolated case of an annoying person or situation that keeps cropping up in your mind causing you anguish.

Here's a neat little trick that will banish ugly resentful thoughts and carry some nice boomerang effects as well.

SLAM 'EM WITH A METAPHYSICAL SNOWBALL!

Take your hands and form an invisible ball of energy. Move your hands about just as if you were making a snowball. This doesn't take long at all.

Intend to make the "snowball" bigger, more tightly compacted with pure energy. (Remember, you're not the one creating the energy. You're simply being a vehicle. This requires almost no effort on your part, only your solid intention.)

Now that you have a nice ball of pure energy, mentally throw it at the person in question. (I actually use my arm to hurl it.)

See the energy ball hit him or her and explode into a mass of wonderfully charged currents of energy, making the person feel suddenly terrific and smiling...and totally unconcerned about you.

That's it. That's all there is to it. Now I can't really explain why this transfer of energy releases the snowball maker from thoughts of bitterness. And it doesn't really matter. It is enough that it works, yes?

Give this a try. I think you'll be amazed.
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Rosella Aranda, international marketer and writer, helps entrepreneurs escape harmful subconscious programming and boost their self-esteem to achieve emotional freedom. Be sure and grab your free 4-part mini course today! http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/go/Aresent
For kind encouragement and solid motivation, climb aboard... http://calling-all-entrepreneurs.com/go/t.cgi?AresentZ
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Photograph: Corporal Tunnel Photostream @ Flickr.com
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