Will There Be a Flu Pandemic?

WHAT'S A PANDEMIC OF AVIAN FLU GOT TO DO WITH EQ?

Everything!
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“Worrying about a Pandemic of the Flu?”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Q: Could there by a pandemic?
A: My physician says we’re overdue for one.

Q: Should you panic?
A: Panicking doesn’t help anything.

Q: What IS a flu pandemic?
A: An influenza virus that adapts to humans and since it’s new, humans have no immunity to it.

There are some things we can count on when there’s something that could effect a lot of people in a bad way, thereby increasing the odds it could happen to YOU. One is that there will be panic. Emotions can overtake thinking clearly, gathering facts, considering the source of rumors (reality-testing), coping intelligently with the risk, and making good decisions.

Another is that opportunists will capitalize on the panic to get you to buy something that will “cure” it which they will “guarantee” will keep you safe. Remember all the hype at the millennium?

Lastly, politicians and activists will capitalize on the situation as well, leveraging fear and hatred to attack opponents and polarize groups, and agitating to influence people to support or vote for them. We need only consider the recent flooding in New Orleans to get a look at this.

AS IF THE FLU WEREN'T ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT.

How does this work? I heard not long ago, via blog and friends, that flu vaccine would be in short supply, in one case that the government was stockpiling it, and in another case that “they” were hoarding it so only “[one ethnic group] could have it or so that [another ethnic group] couldn’t have it.

Imagine my surprise when I wandered into a neighborhood clinic on Christmas Eve (with a sick relative) and saw a huge sign on the door: FLU SHOTS AVAILABLE HERE - $25.

Not only was it “in supply,” so much so they were advertising, but it was affordable to most pocket books

This flu thing is an excellent example of how Emotional Intelligence can benefit you: It’s a good time to THINK about a very EMOTIONAL issue.

People who want to sell us something, get elected, get us to support a cause, or are just plain hate-mongers will prey on our emotions any way they can.

It's Marketing 101 that you can get someone to buy something by scaring them about what will happen if they don’t buy it, and/or making it scarce (or appear to be scarce). That's called "urgency." It’s “hype” - - from “hyperbole,” an extravagant exaggeration. We can also get carried away by our own fears, when what is needed is information - - facts, not rumors.

To deal with "the flu" intelligently you need to unemotionally gather information from reliable sources, and then analyze it. Someone’s blog, what your neighbor says, or information garnered from someone who has something to gain are not necessarily reliable. Panicking never helps anything, except people who use your panic against you.

Here’s some information for you to consider, but don’t take my word for it, do your own research. Talk to your doctor. Check out resources. Verify. THINK.

THIS IS NOT LIKE THE BLACK DEATH OR THE PLAGUE

”The Plague” or “Black Death” that swept Europe in the 1300s was bacterial, carried by rodents and spread to humans via infected fleas. In 5 years it killed 25 million people, 1/3rd of the people in Europe. Why? The conditions of the times made it unstoppable - - poor nutrition, poor sanitation, ignorance, superstition, and rudimentary medicine. The germ theory had not yet been conceptualized and cause-and-effect were not understood, i.e., the Plague would subside in the winter and return again in the spring, but nobody knew why. The reason was that fleas are dormant in the winter.

All 3 types of plague - Bubonic, which effects the lymph glands; Septicemia, which effects the blood; and pneumonic, which infects the lungs – can be treated with antibiotics if caught in time and supplies are ample. Antibiotics work optimally in a body that's healthy and well nourished with a strong immune system.

THE FLU ("INFLUENZA") IS VIRAL.

There is no known cure for a virus. Vaccinations help because they raise our immunity, the only way we can fight it off. Therefore, whatever bolsters your Ommune system can help you fight off a virus, or recover from one.

Shopping for a good nutriceutical requires thinking. Consider a product such as Arbonne’s Defense Builder. Look for products with pure safe ingredients that have the scientific research backing their claims. [See resources for evaluation below.]

Flu pandemics are rare, but recurring. The World Health Organization (WHO) notes 3 in the previous century: “Spanish influenza” in 1918, “Asian influenza” in 1957, and “Hong Kong influenza” in 1968. The 1918 pandemic was by far the worst, killing 40–50 million people worldwide.

Previous pandemics circled the globe in 6-9 months, when global travel was by ship. Today, with air travel, this could probably happen in less than 3 months.

As to pandemic preparedness planning, WHO currently classifies Avian flu (H5N1) as phase 3, i.e., “a virus new to humans is causing infections, but does not spread easily from one person to another.” If H5N1 evolves to a form as contagious as normal influenza, a pandemic could begin.

Influenzas are transmitted the same way as the common cold, a virus - - by coughing, sneezing (airborne droplets), or by contact with an infected person’s saliva.

THEREFORE, TAKE THE USUAL HEALTH PRECAUTIONS:

1. Get your immune system up-to-speed. Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, manage stress, and use a nutraceutical that nutritionally supports your immune system such as Arbonne's DefenseBuilder, or Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement, scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.

2. Avoid things that weaken your immune system like diseases untreated and negative emotions. (Take The EQ Alive! Program to learn about the effects of emotion on the immune system and what you can do about it. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for information.)

3. If you get sick, take care of yourself. See a doctor, take the medication prescribed until the dose is complete, rest, and stay home so you don’t infect others. It is crucially important to complete the course of an antibiotic. Each time you do not, you allow that particular bacteria to "get used to" the antibiotic and therefore become resistant to it, so it can go on to attack you, and others, again, and resist treatment. There are several bacteria around now that are resistant to antibiotics because of this. That's not a nice way to treat the ecosystem you live in. (The theory is more or less, "don't leave it wounded.")

4. Practice common cleanliness, washing your hands after you use the restroom, not drinking from a public water fountain, avoiding people who are sneezing, coughing, or obviously infected, and checking the sanitation in public restrooms and restaurants. (Is there a sneeze shield at the salad bar? Is the server wearing plastic gloves and a hairnet?) One item I noticed on a recent cruise was a packet of papers attached by the door to the restroom so you could use one to open the door handle, assuming that not everyone washes their hands. Good idea whose time has come!

5. Educate those around you. For example, a study that came out last year revealed that the telephone in an average office has more germs per square inch than the office toilet. Use an antiseptic cleaner, starting with your own desk, telephone and keyboard.

PRACTICE GOOD EMOTIONAL HYGIENE

6. Practice good emotional intelligence, good EQ hygiene, as it were. Our emotions effect our immune system. Programs such as The EQ Alive! Program can teach you about this. Don’t panic, use your head. Don’t pass on rumors. Verify what you hear with reliable, educated sources like your personal physician. See a doctor if you’re ill.

IN OTHER WORDS, USE YOUR HEAD!

USEFUL RESOURCES :

10 Things You Need to Know about Pandemic Influenza from WHO.

National Academy of Science Information on functions and potential benefits of vitamins and minerals, as well as upper safe limits for nutrients.

FDA, Tips for the Savvy Supplement User: Making Informed Decisions And Evaluating Information. How to evaluate medical and nutritional information and resources on the web.

MedWatch, FDA Safety Information and Adverse Event Reporting Program.
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And avoid further assault on your body, which can weaken your immune system with Arbonne cosmetics, lotions, hormone replacement, shaving cream and baby products. What you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream. Go HERE to order.

Kiss and Make Up in 2006

MAKE SOME CHANGES IN 1006

Resolve to work on your emotional intelligence for the New Year and it can help you keep all those other resolutions!

Among a great list of resolutions from msn.com comes this comment from Dr. Ned Hallowell, a psychiatrist in Boston:

"A growing body of evidence shows that nursing a grudge can make you sick. Similar to the stress response, harboring negative thoughts about someone restricts blood flow, decreases oxygen consumption and throws your immune and gastrointestinal system out of whack. You may never forget how your ex dumped you, but you will sleep netter, be more energetic and be happier if you put it behind you."

The article is titled, "Let's Make Out in 2006," and includes the suggestion that you kiss your partner more. This generates the kind of good feelings that combat that stress response.

Here's another great resolution - - avoid baby oil and other impure ingredients found in cosmetics and lotions that can harm you. What you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream.

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ARBONNE for your health in the New Year. Don't neglect taking care of yourself physically with good nutraceuticals, cosmetics, lotions, and supplements that help you get well and stay well. Try DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement.

For the full article, go here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10410959/site/newsweek .
Graphics on this blog are royalty free from www.clipart.com unless otherwise noted. Images above are from My Arbonne - - click here to buy products or become a consultant.

Seasonal Affective Disorder - - SAD

YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS YOUR FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST BACTERIA (PNEUMONIA) AND YOUR ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST VIRUSES (FLU, BIRD FLU). IT'S TRUE, ASK YOUR DOCTOR. THEN GET ON ARBONNE'S DEFENSE BUILDER. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT SICKNESS!

“It’s Time for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Take care!”
by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™


Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects about 5% of us severely and perhaps 25% of us more mildly. Women and young adults are more likely to suffer from it.

It’s a form of depression that, according to the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), is a real illness with sometimes severe symptoms. It’s worse in January and February, though starts as early as September.

SAD is believed to be caused by melatonin, a sleep-related hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain. Melatonin production increases in the dark, so in the winter, when the days are shorter and darker, production increases, causing symptoms of depression.

SAD is extremely rare for people living within 30 degrees of the Equator, where daylight hours are long and extremely bright.

THE SYMPTOMS?

Sleep problems, lethargy, overeating, depression, social problems, anxiety, loss of libido, mood changes, and a weakened immune system. For complete description, go here.

THE CURE?

Light suppresses the secretion of melatonin, so for lighter cases, get outside more, exercise outside, and arrange for more light at work and at home.

Developing your emotional intelligence can help you become more aware of the effects, and achieve a better emotional lifestyle overall. Negative emotions, and SAD can impact the immune system, which is our health, and our only line of defense against viruses. So be proactive - - study EQ, and get on a good neutraceutical now. Arbonne’s DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement are scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. Watch the cosmetics and lotions you use as well, so you don’t assault yourself further with toxic chemicals. What you put on your skin is absorbed into the bloodstream.

You may also want to consider phototherapy in more severe cases. A light box can be used that emits very bright light through a filter.

Please check with your personal physician if you think you have SAD.

©Susan Dunn, MA, certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Individual coaching, employee assistance coaching, distance learning, and EQ coach certification program. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FR** EQ eZine. Neutraceuticals for your health – http://susandunn.myarbonne.com . Pure, natural ingredients; hormone replacement, immune system builders, lotions, cosmetics and baby products for your health.

Now you can shop safely with me online at My Arbonne - - for your health!

EQ4U

ANTI AGING products from ARBONNE will reduce the wear and tear on your skin, making you look years younger. Arbonne products have pure, natural ingredients. Now you can shop safely online with me at My Arbonne. Check out the NutriMin products. I use them and am often mistaken for 10 or more years younger than my age. I swear by them!

Today's guest article, "Anti-Aging - - Look and Feel 10 Years Younger without Drugs and Surgery," is by Chris Chew

Is it possible to look and feel years younger than what you are now without expensive drugs and surgery? Yes, of course you can. Here is how.

. Do Cardio Exercises - When you exercise your cardiovascular system, your heart and lungs get stronger. You will breathe better and oxygen circulates better. You may be able to avoid age related diseases like high blood pressure, stroke and heart problems. Since your blood circulates well, that will put a glow of pink health on your skin and face. And since you are fitter, you won't look tired and haggard. Cardio exercises will also help you to maintain a healthy weight. With low body fat, you will also avoid many age related diseases besides look great and younger.

. Build Muscle - In order to build muscles, you will need to lift weights. Weightlifting with strengthen your bones too and helps prevent other aging diseases like osteoporosis and muscle dystrophy (wasting away of muscles). With cardio exercises, weightlifting and correct eating habits, you will keep your body fat down and owned [sic] an attractive well toned body. This will boost your self esteem and your added confidence will be another look young factor.

. Avoid Direct Sunlight- Always wear at least an SPF 15 sun block when out in the sun even on cloudy days. Sunlight is now known to be one of the main factors of skin aging. Prolong exposure to sunlight will cause wrinkles, skin pigmentation, rough and coarse skin and even skin cancers.

. Vitamins and Antioxidants - Take multi vitamins and antioxidants regularly as a supplement. They will mop up free radicals and improve your general health besides providing better immunity to diseases and great looking skin. [We recommend Arbonne's Defense Builder, Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement and other neutraceuticals, scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.]

. Sleep - Sleep at least 8 hours a day. More even better. Sleep helps your body to recharge and repair itself from stress and work. Your muscles build up from the exercises you have done during your sleep. Furthermore, with enough rest, you will look fresh and radiant. They don't call it "beauty sleep" for nothing right?

. Water - Drink lots and lots of plain water. It will help flush out toxins and waste products and thereby hydrating your skin for a better glow.

. Say No To Cigarettes and Alcohol - Cigarettes and alcohol are a no no if you want smooth beautiful skin. Cigarettes with its many toxins will speed up the aging process. Wrinkles and fine lines on your face and hands will appear even when you are young. Alcohol will dehydrate your skin and you will have with flaking and dry skin. Combine the two together, you will look much older than you really are. Just do all these anti aging and very soon, you will look years younger without surgery or drugs.

About The Author: Chris Chew is a personal trainer who count fashion models, international pageant winners, actors and other celebrities as his clients. He authored "Burn Fat Build Muscles Fast!" ebooks at http://www.sgfitness.com and runs a health and fitness outfit in Singapore http://www.sgfitnessonline.com
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Give yourself a break with ARBONNE'S anti-aging program.

Merry Christmas!

BEST WISHES FROM SUSAN DUNN AND STAFF FOR A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

The dawning of another Christmas Day. What's it like where you live?
How are you feeling emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually?

Here in San Antonio Texas USA it's a perfect day - - crisp and cold with bright sunshine. I was hoping to be able to have a fire in the fireplace, and this is just the day. I have a few more things to prepare for the feast, and family is coming over shortly. Then we have taken rooms down at the beautiful La Mansion on the River. The SA River, a great tourist attraction and boon to us locals, will be lits up like the proverbial Christmas tree at night, very festive.

I feel like I did a reasonable job at Christmas, keeping some balance. I gave gifts I was pleased with, to the people I wanted to remember, and they got delivered on time. I always think of those who are extra-stressed at this time of year with their jobs, like postal workers, sales people who must meet a year-end quota, restaurant owners and caterers, doctors and ministers, for instance. I met the postman at the mailbox yesterday and I asked him how it was going. He said they'd be working "until the last package is delivered." He looks like Santa, a middle-aged man with a full white beard and a big smile on his face, and "Santa" he is!

Well, time to go light the fire in the fireplace and put the last finishings on the house and meal. It will be another great Christmas. They all are, and some of them have been very different from others!

Jacquie Lawson has outdone herself with this one. Enjoy this beautiful holiday card or cut and paste: http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=TH34293890

Living a Guilt-free Christmas

TO GIVE GIFTS OR NOT TO GIVE GIFTS? If you enjoy it, and it makes you happy, indulge! If there's a tinge of guilt somewhere about it, consider our guest article today, "Living A Guilt-Free Christmas," by guest writer, Catherine Franz

Do you have feelings that you didn't do something as well as you would have liked this year? With the intention to solve this by the end of the year? Many of us desire to begin the new year in a new light in our relationships. The ultimate motive, however, is that we don't want to drag our emotional baggage into the coming year.

Having Thanksgiving in November and Christmas in December all leading to the beginning of new promises in the next year isn't a fluke. The emotional need for love and peace is set in our emotional DNA and expands during this period. Gift giving is normally the result of wanting to give something that relieves the guilt of something. All for the promise of starting the New Year with a clean slate.

Your motive during the holiday period depends on your beliefs. Yet, it is a time to reconnect with love. Love is the greatest need for all of us. It is the foundation for our need for respect, honor, and interaction. We need love as proven in studies on newborns -- those touched and loved during their first few weeks and those
that aren't. Our love for our family, friends, but mostly with ourselves, is a strong desire that is manipulated by retailers during this period. Yes, I honor the fact that it has made the United States a great nation because of it but have we ever thought of how life could be different if we met it in another way?

There are other ways to balance the holiday season, this season and for the rest of your life. Examine why you are purchasing gifts. Is it the need to feel more loved? Is it to relieve the guilt so you can begin the New Year with a clean slate -- or at least a cleaner slate? What is driving the guilt? Not enough time spent with who? What are you working towards shedding before the New Year enters?

I am sharing this with you because I know of other ways and their results are greater than anything a gift will ever solve. It begins with forgiveness and transfers into living a different way of life -- all year long. That's 24/7, Monday-Sunday, with everyone in your life currently, from the past, and in the future that touch your life.

The message is to live a life of love, light all year long. Imagine a life of being guilt-free and being in a state of love and peace with yourself and others. No judgment with yourself. No judgment of others. Is it possible? I say yes and I know you know it as well. There are people living it. You have already experienced parts of it. Begin with the choice today. Not tomorrow, not as a New Year resolution. But today. Now. This minute. This second. Live the next hour guilt-free. Then the next hour. Live each hour whenever you can think of this process. Let the hours merge together and eventually your life changes dramatically and whole
world that you touch shifts around you. You know its possible. It begins with a choice and shifts with awareness and the smallest of commitments.

(c) Copyright 2005, Catherine Franz. All rights reserved. Catherine Franz, business and writing coach, resides in Virginia and is a syndicated columnist, radio producer, International speaker, and author. Ezines and other articles: http://www.abundancecenter.com http://abundance.blogs.com .
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FOR A GUILT-FREE CHRISTMAS REGARDING WEIGHT MAINTENANCE, start right now on ARBONNE'S FIGURE 8 REGIME. Pure, natural ingredients. Never has ephedra. I love the Chews. Pop one in your mouth when you get that craving, and it stops.

Holiday Soul Snacks

STRESS MANAGEMENT HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER

ARBONNE neutraceuticals are the best soul snack. We recommend ARBONNE for pure, natural products that really work. Your immune system is your FIRST line of defense against bacteria (like pneumonia) and your ONLY line of defense against viruses (like flu, andbird flu). Get armed today, and recommend ARBONNE to others so they stay well and don't infect you with their germs.

Shop with me online safely at My Arbonne.

Today's guest article, "Holiday Soul Snacks" is from Susie Michelle Cortright.

Soul Snacks are spontaneous time-outs: creative ways you can nurture your spirit in 15 minutes or less.

Here's a week's worth, specially designed to help you balance the busy-ness this holiday season.

Day One

What are your favorite holiday memories? Pose the question tonight at the dinner table. Use your family's answers to plan this year's celebration. You may be surprised at the special memories that have nothing to do with gifts or elaborate events.

Day Two

For fifteen minutes, write down things in your life that you are grateful for.

Day Three

Bundle up and head outside. Make snow angels or build a snow fort with your kids. When it's time to warm up, build a cozy fire and roast marshmallows in your living room.

Day Four

What's your favorite homemade holiday treat? Write down the recipe, and share it with your friends. Encourage them to do the same.

Day Five

Challenge each member of your family to fill a box or bag full of items to give away. Decide as a family where to make a donation.

Day Six

Get out and enjoy the crisp winter air today, all by yourself. Listen to the crunch of snow underfoot. And treat yourself to a steaming mug of hot chocolate (with
marshmallows) when you return.

Day Seven

What was the favorite book you read this year? With whom would you most like to share its message? Purchase a copy for them and drop it off...anonymously.

Taking just a bit of time each day to nurture yourself will ensure you enjoy every last fa-la-la during this magical season. Happy holidays!

Copyright 2005 Susie Michelle Cortright
About the author: Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Momscape's Free Online Scrapbooking Magazine - sites devoted to celebrating life with children. Learn more about her
scrapbooking club or about starting your own scrapbooking business on Susie's team: http://www.momscape.com/scrapbooking/business.htm

Exercise for Christmas

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, has your exercise program gone out the window?

Other than walking from store to store or stretching to put up holiday decorations, are you including any other movement in your schedule?

If you asked someone why it is important to exercise, you would probably get answers like:

I need to lose weight.
My doctor said I need to do it to improve my health.
I want to look better and have my clothes fit.
Have you considered how important it is to move your body to benefit your brain?
When we are increasing our blood flow as we exert ourselves, we cause more blood to go to the brain where you then have the advantage of more oxygenated blood to help with your alertness and creative thinking.

Studies with elderly people have shown a tremendous difference in the brain functioning of those who do exercise and those who don't.

Another benefit of exercise is the relaxation that comes over our body as we move fluidly, especially with music!

You don't have to go to a fitness center to have the advantage of exercise. You can put on your favorite tunes and move and groove to the music.


It's a great break from sitting at the computer and you'll feel invigorated and ready to work again after a short, active break.

IS THIS YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS ALONE?

Well here's a great quote for you from Picasso:

"I AM ALWAYS DOING THAT WHICH I CANNOT DO, IN ORDER THAT I MAY LEARN HOW TO DO IT."

If this is your first Christmas "alone" after having been married for many years, I know how hard it can be. It's like being on another planet. We don't realize how entwined we are with a partner, in all ways, even if we weren't getting along, until there's a breakup. You may have really no idea how to spend Christmas alone, or what to do.

You may also lack the emotional and mental energy to put something together. You may want to just cancel Christmas and spend the day reading or hiking or something. That's ok. There' no one judging this, hopefully most of all, not YOU.

You see it takes mental and emotional energy - - emotional intelligence - - to create something, and what you have to do is create a new kind of Christmas, after years of maybe doing the same things with the same person or people.

Typically when we divorce, we lose a "family" as well. With the death of a spouse, it may be different in that respect, but still, things are not the same.

If you're still raw emotionally, and heart broken, you have to stay with the feelings, and your real friends will understand. You just may not be able to participate in Christmas at this time.

If you are farther along in your healing, or feel like moving ahead, it's an ideal time to learn to deal with the changes. Your friends and loved ones can help you!

In fact I overheard a wonderful conversation at a restaurant the other night. Two women were dining, and one was saying to the other, "Yes, I know you miss him, but you still need friends. No matter what happens, you need friends. Please come to this party."

I hope the other woman decided to. She looked about 70 and had lost her husband, and her friend was encouraging her to do one of the most important things we can do at such a time - - stay connected. It keeps you from getting too much into the downside of things!

If you don't feel like being with old friends, because of memories, or have lost part of your social network through a divorce, you can be around people by participating in a church, or doing volunteer work at the holidays. Whatever works for you.
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Music can be very healing at this time, and we invite you to join our active and dedicated CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC. We listened to the Met's broadcast of Rigoletto this past Saturday - - many of us being on car trips, a great time to listen to an opera. The commentarty was just marvelous, all about Verdi's theme of father and daughter, the Austrian occupation of northern Italy at the time, and the problem with the censors. Fascinating, and it added so much to the experience and enjoyment of the opera.
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Need some healing crytals for the New Year? Nancy Fenn's offering a great special - - check it out HERE.

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Are you taking care of your health? There are two times I've noticed when clients tend to get sick. Well winter of course, but then when they've just started a new serious romance, and when they've ended one. These are very stressful times that take their toll on our immune system. Did you know that emotions directly effect the immune system?

Our immune system is our FIRST line of defense against bacteria, and our ONLY line of defense against viruses. (It's true. Ask your doctor.) We recommend a heart regimen of neutraceuticals from ARBONNE. DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement are scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. Get on them NOW and stay well. You may do OK, but other people who don't take care of themselves will be sick and will be around you with their germs, so at this vulnerable time, it's best to get on a strict health regime. You can show safely with me online at My Arbonne. Email me if you need help!
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I AM AVAILABLE FOR SPOT COACHING CALLS. One session is fine, and often is all it takes. If you need a call please email me to set a time - sdunn@susandunn.cc . It could be just the thing! I work night and weekends, for your convenience.

Bah Humbug?

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Today's guest writer is Kathy Paauw, and she writes about 7 Tips to Save Time & Reduce Holiday Stress

“My dad used to say that the holidays are when you get a whole bunch of people that really aren't that close and don't know each other that well and overcrowd them into a small room for an extended period of time so they can make each other miserable." --Dr. Phil McGraw

As we approach the holiday season, that sense of "overwhelm" rings as loud as the Salvation Army bells.

For some, the holiday season represents stress, pressure, expectations, guilt, disappointment, pain, loneliness, exhaustion . and the list goes on.

And it doesn't have to be that way!

We choose who we spend time with. We choose what activities we say yes and no to. We choose where we go. Your holiday season can be as simple or as elaborate as you choose to make it, and it can be a lot of fun if you plan accordingly.

Take some time this week to think about what's most important to you this season, and then do a little planning. Here are some suggestions to help save time and
reduce stress.

1. Create a list of holiday rituals that are important to you.

Seek your family's input on holiday decisions. Ask family members what they liked and disliked about last year's holidays. Write down the most important elements and
activities you wish to include this year, and plan to make it happen.

Keeping time-consuming and irrelevant traditions or rituals "just because we've always done it that way" can increase stress. Keep only those traditions that have meaning to you, or create some new ones.

Give yourself permission to be in the moment and enjoy the smells, sounds, feel, and tastes that are unique to this season of the year.

2. Make a list of those you want to spend time with during the holidays.

Who nourishes you? Who are the family members, friends, and colleagues you enjoy being with? Who brings you down? Maybe this is not the year to get together with them!

Do you want to do any entertaining? If so, when and with whom? Plan ahead and ask for help if you want it. True friends and loved ones will not care how many hours you
slaved over the stove. Spending time with you is what they'll cherish most. You don't have to be Martha Stewart to throw a great party!

Are you invited to holiday parties that you really don't want to go to, but you've gone in the past because you should? Be at choice -- don't play the victim! This is not about whom you should see, but rather whom you choose to spend time with.

3. Send holiday greeting cards with ease.

I've found a great service that enables you to send a real card in the mail for less than a dollar, including postage, without leaving the comfort of your desk. SendOutCards was recently reviewed in the Wall Street Journal. I have been using their service for a couple months now and I can vouch for the quality of their greeting cards. With a simple click of your computer mouse, you can select from several hundred holiday cards to choose from, write a message (using your own handwriting font and signature) and send a printed greeting card. SendOutCards will print it, stuff it, stamp it (with a real stamp), and send it in the mail for you. Visit http://www.bethoughtfulnow.com for more information and to request a free gift account.

4. Mail packages with ease.

Mail packages early in December to avoid longer lines at the post office and ensure they will arrive in time. Or, better yet, sign up with Stamps.com or another online
postage service and avoid the lines altogether. You can mail large packages without standing in any lines -- as long as you have an accurate way to weigh them before you
purchase the postage online. Once you have added the correct postage (printed from your computer), you can drop the packages off at the loading dock of your local post
office and avoid those long lines.

5. Thoughtfully plan your gift-giving.

Give from the heart, not out of obligation. Decide whom you choose to give to and make a list. This will help you avoid overspending through impulse buying.

If you think back to the most cherished gifts you have received, they are often homemade or from the heart. A gift of time -- such as a gift certificate redeemable for an activity you can do together -- can be very meaningful. Among the most prized gifts I've ever received have been homemade cards with a heartfelt note written inside. Value goes far beyond the cost of the gift.

A great resource for homemade gift ideas is a book called The Perfect Mix. It contains creative edible gift ideas, including wrapping suggestions and tag instructions, along with a source guide for supplies. The book offers more than
90 recipes for soups, breads, muffins, cookies, and other gifts. The gifts I've created from this book have been very well received and appreciated.

Instead of exchanging gifts with friends, consider having a holiday or post-holiday party with them.

Avoid parking hassles, gridlock traffic around the malls, and long lines at the register by shopping online and through catalogs. A number of retail stores now offer
merchandise online, as well. If you are purchasing a gift that needs to be mailed, you can arrange to have it sent directly to the recipient, thus avoiding the extra steps of wrapping, labeling, and mailing the gift.

Wrapping gifts can take a lot of time. Instead of wrapping all of them, use a gift bag with a nice bow tied at the top, or use a decorated gift box.

Consider giving an alternative gift to a friend or loved one by giving to a charity in their name. One of my favorite charities is Heifer Project International. Through
living gifts of animals, HPI is helping families worldwide to become self-reliant. You can buy an animal that can change the life of a hungry family and at the same time honor family and friends. Visit HPI's "gift catalog" at http://catalog.heifer.org/index.cfm

6. Spread holiday cheer with those in need.

Volunteer to serve a holiday meal to the homeless, work in a soup kitchen, or work at a food bank.

Adopt a family for the holidays and provide them with gifts or holiday foods. Many churches and non-profit organizations can match you with a needy family.

Look for a Giving Tree in your local retail stores. The tree is filled with cards that list a specific gift desired by someone in need. You select a card off the tree,
purchase the suggested gift listed on the card, and return the gift to the tree with the card attached. The store wraps the gift and delivers it to the intended recipient.

The end of the tax year is a great time to review your budget and consider a year-end gift to your favorite charities. This can represent a significant tax deduction
if you itemize, while doing great things locally and globally.

7. Use your calendar to help organize your time to reflect your priorities.

Once you are clear about your intentions, calendar them in. Writing them down for follow-up on a specific date will help you to remember to do it and will keep things from falling to the last minute. In other words, make appointments with yourself to follow through with specific tasks by a specific time. As you prepare for the holidays, remember that the greatest gifts of all won't be found under the gift wrap. They'll be found in those special moments when you make a heart connection with those you care about.


About the Author: Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas
to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit her website at: http://www.orgcoach.net .

Merry Christmas!

Take a beather and enjoy this beautiful free message
===============

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GIVE YOURSELF A TREAT FOR THE HOLIDAYS: TAKE THE EQ ALIVE! PROGRAM
==============
Nowadays

most people die of a

sort of creeping common sense,

and discover when it is too late

that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.

– Oscar Wilde
============
True?
Study Emotional Intelligence and find out more about this, your life, and "creeping common sense."
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc

Getting Over the Breakup with Emotional Intelligence

GETTING OVER A BREAKUP AT THE HOLIDAYS

"Feel those Feelings,"
Article by guest write Michael Myerscough

Lately I've had a run of clients having a very hard time getting over the end of a relationship. Coincidentally I'm also in the January edition of Psychologies magazine in an article called 'What becomes of the broken hearted?' Getting over a
relationship can be especially difficult as the holidays roll up so let me share some secrets with you about how to heal. If you're not dealing with a break up currently, but you know someone who is, maybe forwarding this ezine on will help them.

I have a client called Dorothy who's struggling to let go of a relationship with a guy who she'd initially thought was perfect for her. When we first started working together Dorothy was really angry and frustrated that yet again she was going to
have to re-build her love life. The one good thing about those feelings was that they removed any temptation to get straight back into dating.

The first step for any client I work with in this situation is to have them feel their feelings which is an essential part of the healing process. If you're already sick of feeling bad then feel free to skip to the next phase which I outline here:

http://www.therelationshipgym.com/how_to_get_over_a_break_up.htm

Some people really struggle with feeling certain feelings. Some of us are easier with anger, others with grief. Dorothy was more than comfortable with being angry but was very reluctant to admit that her anger was masking her feelings of hurt and
loneliness. Those feelings made her feel vulnerable in a way she resisted furiously. I encouraged her to explore all of her feelings by writing a 'Grief' letter to her ex.

To write your letter take the time to explore what you are going to miss and what you aren't going to miss. What are you angry about? What are you sad about? What do you fear this break up means? What was your part in the break up? What are you always going to love or appreciate about your ex?

This is referred to as a ladder of emotion and it's great to write your letter in the above order. Feel free to use those questions as headers. That said if you need to keep coming back to anger then please do and then work your way back up the ladder again. It's important that you realise that you are never going to send this letter, this way you can explore being totally unreasonable and maybe even, what would previously have been, unbearably open about just how hurt you feel.

Explore these questions in such a way that you can feel all the things you suspect may be true even if you'd rather they weren't. Write the letter as if you were writing it to someone who really cares about how you feel.

It's really important that you take time to do this. Every time you leave a relationship there is a danger that you will harden your heart due to the pain and disappointment. That hardening makes you less attractive and can begin to limit your ability to love.

If you do this properly you'll be able to reconnect with at least some of the love you felt for this person you've parted from. Not in a way that eats at you but in a way that nourishes your sense of having a life worth loving. If you've loved deeply once, then you can do it again. It takes work to keep your heart healthy and open but it's very valuable work.

This is the first step in a process that can take anywhere from days to months and it's a good solid first step. When Dorothy first began to be honest about how sad and lonely she felt she got scared about how overwhelming it felt. As if somehow she
could become lost in the feelings or she'd never feel good again. This process requires you to acknowledge that your feelings are not something to be afraid of. If you're feeling sad you are only sad. It doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with your life that must be fixed. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to just acknowledge that you do feel sad.

The end of a relationship is often the death of something you found to be beautiful for a while. That said, no matter how big your grief is, you're going to get through it. You are far bigger than your worst feeling.

Two months on Dorothy has learned a lot about her self and one of her unexpected breakthroughs is that being alone at home no longer makes her feel like there's something wrong with her. Suddenly being alone isn't so scary and from this place she's in a much better position to think about who she'd actually like to make a part of her life. When it comes to Finding Mr. Right the first step is to clear up what's gone on in the past so you can be free of it. Feeling your feelings is the quickest route to healing and the only way out is through. Just remember that even your darkest minute is only 60 seconds long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tips on getting over a breakup

For the next steps in healing a broken heart visit
http://www.therelationshipgym.com/how_to_get_over_a_break_up.htm

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
© Copyright 2005 The Relationship Gym by Michael Myerscough. All Rights Reserved. May be freely copied and distributed as long as you include the following information: "By Michael Myerscough, professional speaker and relationship success
coach. Michael has lots of great tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use. Visit him at http://www.therelationshipgym.com/ and sign up for the fr*ee
relationship information. "
=================

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Greatest Gift

Today's guest article:
Give Yourself The Greatest Gift
Author: Christopher Green

Imagine if you could give yourself the best gift ever. A gift that would bring success, happiness and abundance into your life, not just temporarily, but for the rest of your living years.

Would you be interested in having such a gift? Hmm, let me guess! The good news is that YOU CAN. The gift I'm talking about is personal responsibility. Let me share with you precisely why this gift is the best you will ever receive!

When you decide to take personal responsibility for your whole life, a remarkable series of reactions takes place. All of these reactions increase your personal power.

Acceptance is the first, crucial reaction. You accept that where you are right now is all your doing. No longer will you blame anyone else for your current situation or list excuses such as bad luck or lack of opportunity. Blame and excuses are heavy baggage and they do not bring success. Acceptance will help you abandon them for good.

In accepting full responsibility for your current situation, you also accept that where you'll be in a year or 5 years is also down to you. You chose the paths to the
destination you're at right now. Therefore, you can choose better paths to lead you to a greater destination.

Acceptance leads to the realization that you have the power to change your life for the better. So exercise your power: Choose what you want to do with your life. Choose where you want your life to take you. Choose to be the person you truly want to be. Choose to live life the way YOU want to live it. Spend time thinking about all of the above and commit your ideas to paper. Don't let the whims and fears of others guide you in this. Only YOU can be the person you want to be.

Be in total control of what you allow your mind to be exposed to. If you listen to people who live life craving for security, you will take on board their fears. So be
responsible for your own education. You've found this article so you're already taking steps to fill your mind with positive information to help you achieve your
ambitions. Resolve to make this an ongoing process.

I was once told "if you don't take responsibility for what enters your mind, you risk allowing others to educate you. And they may not have your best interests at heart." Think about this. It is so important to take responsibility for what you allow into your mind. Eliminating negative inputs and focusing instead on positive, life-enhancing feeds which take you closer to your goals is vital.

Taking personal responsibility is a big step - somewhat frightening initially. No more crutches to lean on, no more "I could've been something if only...", no more hand holding from well meaning but misguided souls who fuel your fears and stop you from taking action. From this moment on, accept that you are the Captain of your ship. You plot the course, you select the landmarks and ports you need to stop at en route to the final destination: the real you who lives your dream life.

Personal responsibility means you give yourself the power to command. Yes, it means you will make mistakes as you learn to become the master of your destiny. But don't let fear stop you from taking command. Seize it. Plan. Act. Learn. Plan. Act. Learn. Refuse to be blown off course. Resolve everyday that no matter what happens, you will
handle it and overcome it. And you will learn from experience and use it all as stepping stones towards your destiny.

Look at it this way: the world is full of people who do the same things week in, week out. Through no fault of their own, they will never ever achieve their full potential because they've been educated to conform. Why be like everyone else when you can be the unique, inspired and fulfilled person living life on YOUR terms instead of the terms of the masses?

The world is crying out for your special talents. Why keep it waiting any longer?

About the Author: Chris Green is the author of the new book "Conquering Fear", a special program which will show you how to conquer fear and attract greater happiness, success and prosperity into your life. For a FREE e-course, please go to => http://www.conqueringfear.net
=================
This is about the emotional intelligence competencies of personal power, intentionality and self-awareness. Start working on your EQ today, and 2006 will be quite a different year for you. Take THE EQ FOUNDATION COURSE. rated #1 on EQ.org. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information, or call 210-496y-0678. Operators are standing by ready to help you!

Muzzling the Motor Mouths at Work

With Emotional Intelligence, it's hardly difficult at all. First, a look at "MUZZLING THE MOTOR MOUTHS: SILENCE WORKPLACE WINDBAGS," by guest writer, Bill Lampton, Ph.D., and then some Emotional Intelligence tools to apply!

"Muzzling the Motor Mouths"

Nonstop talkers surround us. They appear to have no concept of time, as they ramble on endlessly--following their request to "talk to you for a minute." You want to treat them courteously, yet demonstrate that you need privacy to finish your work.

During my twenty-three years in management, I dealt with blabbermouths frequently, so for the last ten years I have advised clients on how to silence the workplace windbags. Here are my suggestions for muzzling the motor mouths:

ONE: Offer nonverbal cues. If you continue your work and don't make eye contact, many people will take the hint and decide to leave. Another approach: Check your watch repeatedly. A more prominent gesture: Put your hand up like a policeman stopping traffic, a universally understood position. Start packing your briefcase, signaling your departure plans.

TWO: When subtle cues won't work, explain why you can't have a conversation. "I can't talk right now, because I'm in the middle of a project that's due tomorrow. I'll get back with you later." Notice--that puts you in charge of the next move.

THREE: Try giving a time limit: "I've got five minutes. What can we cover in that amount of time?" Then stick to the announced limit rigidly, and get on the phone or walk away when the five minutes have expired.

FOUR: Make sure you meet with gabby people in their offices, not yours. Why? Walking away is much less awkward than trying to shuffle someone out of your office.

FIVE: Wherever you meet, schedule the get-together just before lunch or closing time, when they will be more conscious of time limits themselves.

SIX: Enlist an assistant's help. Before the chatty person arrives, tell a co-worker to interrupt you if the visitor is still there after fifteen minutes. A comment like "Do you remember that appointment you have now?" will justify your ending the conversation.

SEVEN: Compliment the talker by saying, "Gosh, what you are saying sounds worth considering. Please go back to your desk now and put your recommendations in writing, so I can share them with the staff."

EIGHT: Remove the usual comforts by having a stand-up meeting. This symbolically conveys that you are not going to settle in for an extended appointment.

NINE: In a group meeting, tell the windbag, "Really appreciate your input on that, Marvin. Now let me give Sharon and one or two others a chance to respond." Another ploy: "We're on a tight schedule, so I have to move us to the next point on the agenda."

TEN: Ask for a conclusion: "Sandra, I think I get what you are driving at, but just to be sure please sum it up for me in a few sentences."

ELEVEN: Get up and walk toward the door, saying, "Let's finish this on the way out."

TWELVE: Introduce them to someone else: "I want you to share your ideas with Norman, because he heads this particular program."

Next time the company chatterbox confronts you, try these approaches. They work, and they won't shatter relationships. And here is an invitation: If you use some strategies I haven't mentioned, please e-mail them to me: drbill@ChampionshipCommunication.com Title your e-mail MOTOR MOUTHS, so I will be sure to open it. If you send me a suggestion, please indicate whether you grant permission for me to quote you in articles, on my blog and elsewhere.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Lampton, Ph.D.--author of The Complete Communicator: Change Your Communication, Change Your Life!-- helps organizations strengthen their communication, motivation,
customer service and sales. He has served a diverse list of top-level client. Visit his Web site to sign up for his monthly complimentary newsletter here: http://www.ChampionshipCommunication.com Call Dr. Lampton to bring his expertise to your group: 770-534-3425 or 800-393-0114. E-mail: drbill@ChampionshipCommunication.com
========
Most of the strategies I use aren't mentioned. It's one of the office "problems" I find easy to deal, so I'll list some of my strategies. I think they're based on emotional intelligence, not the least of which is good manners, or business etiquette. When you enjoy good relationships throughout your organization, are well-liked, and respectful of others, you can be fairly straight-forward, which is not one of the tactics mentioned aboce (oddly), you can use humor, your knowledge of your co-workers first-hand, and also your knowledge of the political sructure at your office.

10 MORE STRATEGIES THAT ARE EQ-BASED

1. Your intentions.

Emotions are contagious. If you are sure about what you need, and don't feel insecure and guilty, this won't transfer over to the other person. With etiquette. We seem to have collectively lost our manners, and they were there because they worked. If someone came into my office, I might look up and say, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'd love to talk but I'm on a deadline." With a big sincere smile on your face. Then go back to your work.

2. I find it easiest in my own office, because that's my kingdom, you should pardon the expression.

And why should I have to leave? They are the transgressor. I received people all day long when in PR. It was my job and I ran it on a tight schdule. I listened to each person intently, giving them my full attnetion. Then when it was time to begin the goodbye, I would shift posture and start shuffling papers, still listening (or conversing). Stacking a pile of papers with a noise works. Then when it was time for them to say goodbye, my call as I am in control (personal power) not helpless and hopeless, I simply stood up. But in a decisive way. Usually it was accompanied by a smooth stream of "How lovely you could ... interesting ideas ... we'll have to ... I'll be sure to...I could talk with you all day, too bad I've ..." Then move around the desk, maybe put your arms around their shoulder and usher them out. They can be talking the whole time, it doesn't matter. It involves not listening to what they're saying, just doing what ya gotta do. Never had a problem once I stood up.

3. One problem is we often don't understand what other people are really like, and how different from us they might be.

In #2, someone who would remain seated in that situation is "insensitive." Some people, too, are afraid of "hurting someone else's feelings." "Insensitive" means insensitive to social cues, and to the feelings of others (you, in this case), or to the effect they have on others -- all of this is emotional intelligence, which in this case, is lacking.

Therefore, you are not likely to hurt their feelings, which is what people who have trouble with this fear, I think. Since the other person is "insensitive" or "clueless" you are on another playing field and the rules are different. So you can barrel right along, and it won't phase them, certainly not "hurt their feelings," so keep barreling right along and do what you have to do. Always with etiquette, a smile, and being polite. You can be what you might consider rude, or what might be rude to a polite person; but you aren't with a polite person.

4. External devices work well.

Lampton mentions the secretary. I've had alarms go off, had my secretary call me, even taking the "you've got mail ding" as an excuse to suddenly look at the computer, pretend to have received some crucial email about 'a meeting' or something, and used that.

5. Use alarming non-verbals.

With someone particularly boorish, I've suddenly sat bolt upright in my chair looking alarmed, asked what time it was or nrought my wrist out pointedly and checked my watch, and said, "Oh my gosh! I forget I have a deadline/ a meeting/ I've got to be somewhere in 5 minutes. Feelings are contagious. The 'shot of electricity' works well. You're up and out of there while they're in shock. Of course you're saying "terribly sorry" on your way out.

6. Humor -- someone did this to me today.

At an office where I consult, there's a colleague who tends to prattle on about insignificant details, we'll call her "Uptight Ursula." She has irritated everyone in the office with her behavior and we've all talked about it. I went into a colleague's office and started asking questions about something important to me, but not to her. She answered "I don't know" twice and then said, with a twinkle in her eye, pointedly, "I DON'T KNOW ... URSULLA." Then she said, "Gotcha!" We both laughed, I shut my mouth and got out of there. Went elsewhere for the answer to my questions.

7. There are certain people in an office no one bothers.

Study what they do and how they are. There's a "no nonsense " thing about them, though they may be quite nice. You just know their boundaries and no one violates them. There are always models around.

8. #7 is built on your reputation for the work ethic and professionalism. Places where I worked, people knew I was a hard-worker who never missed a deadline and took my work seriously.

9. Change your nonverbals completely and obviously.

If you don't know how to "have an air of professionalism," call for coaching, and I'll tell you how. To succeed in your profession, you need to know how to switch gears in obvious ways and know how you effect others. Politicking and bonding are essential, but you must be able to show when you are doing that, and when you are churning it out. You must know, and SHOW: This is my brain on socializing. This is my brain on focusing on work product.

8. Camaraderie and nonverbal.

I've put my hands over my ears and shaken my head, "no, no". Some people make the "time out" sign with their hands, or say "TMI" and look away. I know one person who chats for a minute (or listens, I should say) then turns her chair back around to her computer, with a smile. Who wants to talk to someone's back. If they've come in and are standing, and you're seated at your desk working, when you want it to end, look down. No one wants to talk to the furniture.

Group jokes help, and if you've done your work around the water cooler these things are known. Make the noose around the neck sign, like in "Airplane" (was that the name of that movie? Airport? I forget ...) when everyone that guy sat down next to ended up hanging themselves. The first time you do it, make an allusion to the movie. After that, they'll "get it."

9. In a very uptight organization these things are harder to do, and that's the problem - an uptight organization is not a high EQ culture. Let me come do a seminar on this. There aren't rules, but there are META-rules.

10. We have a totally clueless relative we sometimes must have in the house.

He talks at people as if they were objects. If it's my turn I sit for as long as I can stand it. Then I get up and say "tag team" and go get someone else. He never breaks stride but keeps on talking. Once we left him alone in the room and he just sat there. The key is he was not ill-at-ease when we left or even if someone actually said "tag team." This is because he is insensitive. He may even have Asperger's Syndrome (see my website, www.susandunn.cc). It doesn't phase him at all, or hurt his feelings, because his are very unknown to him, and therefore people are objects to him, things to use, things to talk at...get it in perspective. So just say "I'm going now," and get up and leave. If he keeps talking, so what? You are leaving, and then you are gone.

Part of emotional intelligence is managing the emotional forcefield, and understanding how someone is like you, and how they are not. With this type of person, as to preserving relationships, you don't really have them because he doesn't know what that means, and you won't hurt their feelings or cause hard feelings, because he doesn't have them, in the normal sense. I have never had someone like this take offense. That terms is meaningless with a person like this.

Good luck!

The Office Christmas, I Mean "Holiday" Party

HOLIDAY PARTY WORKS THE RITUAL

This article by Diane Cameron, a Capital Region writer, begins:

"Now comes the time of year that makes seasoned managers cringe and human resource directors want to leave town.

"Fine words to the contrary, there is little Peace on Earth at the office this week: It's time for the office Christmas, oops, I mean "holiday" party.

Yes, we've learned to choke on the word Christmas and insist that the December party where we dress in sparkles, bring wrapped gifts and drink eggnog while standing next to an evergreen tree is just a winter event.

But language games are the least of it when management has to plan the annual 'no one will be happy no matter what we do' office holiday party."

To read the full article, go HERE.

And take note of what she calls the CLM, or Career Limiting Move!
==========
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE AVERAGE OFFICE DESK IS A HOTBED FOR BACTERIA AND VIRUSES? So are phones, keyboards, and mice.

Dr. Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona, counted bacteria on workplace surfaces and found that office toilet seats had 49 germs per square inch, while desktops had almost 21,000 germs per square inch. Phones were worse -- more than 25,000 germs per square inch.

The usual precautions were named in this article Is Your Desk Making You Sick?, but of course few will comply with them. They include wiping these surfaces with disinfectant (where germs can survive up to 3 days when someone coughs, or sneezes - - and food at desk contributes to what's called a "bacteria cafeteria"); staying home when you're sick - stay home until you've been free of fevwer, coughing, nausea and diarrhea for 24 hours; and washing your hands.

Bacterial infections can be treated with antibiotics, but nothing kills a virus. Your only defense against a virus is your immune system. So use ARBONNE NEUTRACEUTICALS to stay well. DefenseBuilder, and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement, are scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.

Become an ARBONNE CONSULTANT and sell these products to your co-workers. You'll make some money, and feel a lot better, too!

How to Score a Touchdown with the Woman of Your Dreams

Today we have some interesting thoughts from Jaci Rae author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time”, a great book for guys to read (and women too!)

COMMENTS:
Richard Leiby-The Washington Post: "’Winning Points with the Women in your Life…,’ is sure to drive football loving men right into their end zones!"

Athletic Business: "’Winning Points’ helps improve relationship skills – by using football plays, scrimmage strategies and tactical maneuvers as analogies…"

GETTING YOUR MAN ONTO THE PLAYING FIELD OF LOVE
Guest Article by Jaci Rae

So you've made it into the stadium and you are now stepping onto the playing field for your first day of practice with the Dallas Cowboys. Nervous excitement courses through your veins as the coach talks about the various formations he is going to run the team through and begins to discuss the different play calls and strategies he will be using during this season's games.

While much of what the coach talks about initially lies within the realm of football common sense and comes easily to you, there are a few nuances in the game plan that you will be unfamiliar with. Also, some of the plays are new to you and could cause complications and confusion in the season ahead if you don't understand them.

A team's language will guide you in how to interact and communicate with your teammates on the playing field. This language that each player must learn is full of individual components, called the "plays." For each "play," there is a "plan." Each of these "plays" and "plans" has been specially formulated through years of research and scientific study, producing entire systems of proven techniques that can make winners out of the players and teams.

Once the methods were proven effective, they were gathered together and worked into a playbook for each team to base its "plays" and "plans" on. It is that playbook that each teammate must learn in order to be part of the winning team. This process is much the same as that of the "plays" and "plans" of a relationship. You need to read the manual, learn from those who are already where you want to be in their relationships and listen actively to your partner in order to learn how to speak their language. Once you learn this language, you can enter the game confidently and achieve victory!

A woman's perception of her relationship, as well as the language she uses within a relationship may seem very complicated, and sometimes confusing. You may find particular things in her language syntax that are hard to understand and certainly difficult to interpret! And as if that weren't enough, many women have a tendency to turn over and over in their heads most of what is said to them, finding more than what may actually be there.

While men tend to go with the flow without over-analyzing things, women try to find out what's behind the words they see and hear when dealing with their loved ones. This process is intuitively part of their naturally protective circuitry, helping them emotionally guard themselves and their loved ones. Have you ever heard the statement, "You don't want to mess with Mother Bear?" This applies here because women are built as nurturers and maintain a natural curiosity about their environment, in order to help them protect themselves and those they love from perceived dangers.

This natural curiosity triggers what I like to call the "need to know" gene. Women have the "need to know" or to discover all the "information" about their surroundings and then make judgment calls as to any dangers that may affect those they love. This of course, can lead to any number of natural responses to the perceived dangers of their surroundings and an inherent desire to analyze all causes and effects. Because curiosity (analyzing) is a natural response for women, it tends to bleed over into other areas of their lives, namely their relationships.

In addition to analyzing most of what is said to them, women may often have hidden meaning in what they say, even if they don't intend to put it there. Men are not as complicated (in a good way) with their spoken language. What men say is most often what they mean. So, why is it that so many women seem to include hidden messages behind their words? In the same way that women tend to over-analyze things, sometimes they also include hidden meaning in their spoken words. The reasons for this can be partially found by looking at the traditional upbringing and social history of women.

Parents and other adults teach women, at a very early age, that they need to be strong, confident and know what they want. They are also told that they need to be assertive and independent in order to succeed at fulfilling their dreams and desires for their future.

In reality, though, oftentimes the media image of a woman is much different. Society in general, sees images of successful women on television and in the movies that are more demure and non-aggressive, but still get what they need and desire.

The woman on television or in the media, who ends up with the man of her dreams, may have played it "coy," playing off on her seeming "need" for the man. The media image presented is often in direct conflict with the way that a woman may have been raised. Because of these two conflicting images, women have now received mixed messages and are subjected to confusing images about the way they should behave in society. On top of this, women see the men around them as being intrigued and often fascinated by the media image of a woman, an image that may not always interconnect with the ideals and values that they, as women, were brought up with.

Because of this, women may be unsure how to present themselves and may seek to bring forward aspects of both images at the same time. As a result, they may confuse the two images, hiding their true feelings and thoughts deep within their words, all the while struggling to achieve the final goal of communicating their needs or "message" to those that participate in their lives.

Our environment has a great deal to do with how we relate and react to each other as well as how we communicate with other people. Another huge factor in our character make-up is the individual chemistry that everyone is born with. While much has been said about how different the sexes are, how much do we actually know? The facts show that men and women are conceived equally in terms of their overall intelligence.

However, somewhere between the twelfth and fourteenth weeks of pregnancy, there is a testosterone wash that flows over the brain of a male baby. i This wash does not take place during the formation of a female baby. Let's take a look at how the brain works and try to understand why this is so important.

Testosterone is one of the main chemicals that enable the brain to manufacture and create serotonin, which is an important neurotransmitter in the brain, causing certain nerve cells in the brain to activate and become livelier. Serotonin can also act as an inhibitor. Most neurotransmitters can act as both an exciter and an inhibitor. Serotonin affects the brain's interior, known as the ganglia.

The ganglia are the network of the brain, which is divided into two cells, the L cell and the R cell. Scientists believe that one of these cells makes serotonin and the other produces dopamine.

Dopamine is "a monoamine neurotransmitter formed in the brain and is essential to the normal functioning of the central nervous system. ii" Dopamine acts as an inhibitor in the ganglia, thereby causing a calming effect and dampening activity.

It is believed that during the testosterone wash, a balance between the L cells and the R cells are set, determining the amount of serotonin and dopamine that the brain's network will use. This also determines how spatially or temporally aware a person is, with men being born more spatially aware and women more temporally aware. A person who is spatially aware is generally a “left-brain” individual and someone who is temporally aware, is generally a “right-brain” individual.

The word "spatial" is defined as "relating to space." As men are generally more spatially aware, they tend to be better at judging distances, which comes in handy during parallel parking! The word "temporal," meanwhile, is defined as being "of or limited by time.” This may explain why women seem to be able to associate time and events without much difficulty.

You know what I am talking about here men, that little thing that really bothers men about women -- she remembers everything she thinks you have done wrong and when you did it! I believe this is due in part because of a woman's propensity for temporal awareness.

Because of the testosterone wash, men tend to be more "left- brain" oriented and women rely more readily on the "right-brain." "Left-brain" individuals tend to be more interested in facts, inclined to logic and reason. They are more motivated in providing for the home and usually more interested in becoming engineers, mathematicians and scientist. These are just a few career choices that a "left-brain" individual might make.

A "right-brain" individual tends to be better at, and more interested in, developing relationships and dealing with emotional issues. They are more inclined to emotions and passions and are generally more motivated by investing in the relationships of the home. Their career choices tend to put them in the roles of caregivers or into jobs where they can use their artistic, investigative and research abilities.

This is in contrast to the general tendencies of "left-brained" individual. Again, a clearer picture begins to be revealed when we look at the differences between the sexes in this light. Most men might find a leisurely reading of Popular Mechanics or Programmer's Security Desk Reference fundamentally more interesting than reading Ladies’ Home Journal or Parent Child Magazine, while women are just the opposite.

This is simply a matter of one's interest and NOT an intellectual issue, as both men and women can be motivated for various reasons to read on all the subjects mentioned. Remember that both sexes are born equally in terms of intelligence.

My uncle gave me a funny example the other day of how men see women's thought patterns when it comes to making decisions. I thought that this insight was a great example of men conquering and women looking for sequence and order before they tackle the matter at hand.

Here's what he had to say: "Men rule by action. Women rule by committee. For example: Man sees hill, climbs hill. Woman sees hill, forms discussion group, sets up hill climbing committee, votes for hill climbing team, schedules climb date, checks rain fall charts, does studies to locate best path, sends out scouts, and much, much, much, much later... finally climbs the hill."

The facts stated thus far pertain only to our pre-disposition at birth. The things we experience each day, the lessons that we are taught as we move through our daily lives and the personal choices we make along the way will also be determining factors in how "left-brain" or "right-brain" we become. These factors will also directly affect our communication with and relationship to others.

The good news is that since each of us has the freedom to make personal choices, we can learn to hear and understand each other's language when we step onto the playing field to begin practice! "Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands." Psalms 119:73

Once you step up and onto the playing field, however, you will need to hear exactly what the coach has to say during practice if you want to make it to your first game. Copyright © 2005 Jaci Rae and North Shore Records, Inc. For more information about “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time” go to: www.winningpoints.net or simonsays.com. Winning Points is available at stores around the world as well as online HERE.

Jaci Rae is the #1 Best Selling author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time” and “The Indie Guide To Music Success” ISBN 978-0-9746229-4-1 as well as the host of the Jaci Rae show. Dubbed by the media as "Racy Jaci" because of her quick wit and "The Rae of Hope," for her powerful insight, please make sure to check her out at: http://www.jacirae.com to listen to Jaci’s popular show, where she has some of the top behind the scenes guests teaching about the music industry on, go to: www.jacirae.com and click on the weekly show link.

Jean Schmidt

TITLE: Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward?
AUTHOR: Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
WORD COUNT: 1,1092
WRAP: 60
URL: http://www.susandunn.cc
Mailto”sdunn@susandunn.cc

“Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward?”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Being an emotional intelligence coach, and having recently published an article on being new to the job (from the emotional intelligence standpoint), several people have written, asking me to comment on the above-referenced incident.

It is a giant leap to go from Schmidt’s actual words to “Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward.” I confess I did not see videos of her speaking. I have only the printed word to rely on, but then reasonable people do side-step “hearsay” and go to the source. We have innumerable research studies showing us that people don’t see what happens, don’t hear what is said, and “invent”, especially when their emotions are being worked over.

According to the transcript, here is what Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Oh) said: “He (Bubp) also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message, that cowards cut and run, Marines never do…”

So Schmidt didn’t call Murtha a coward. Granted she implied he was, but that’s technically different. Bubp, incidentally, denies having had the conversation with her, which was enough for me to pronounce it “politics” and wash my hands of the whole thing. However, there’s some good EQ stuff in here. Let’s proceed.

Implications rely on thoughts and feelings we supply, fueled by emotion. This is something politicians rely on, the press, your boss, and other who wish to steamroll you into something. Emotions can over-ride thinking, and a person not thinking is a person at the mercy of the other. It is an incendiary leap to say Schmidt called Murtha a coward, and it sells newspapers, or whatever.

Splitting hairs? Yes, but I’m a wordsmith.

Murtha was not there when it happened, and had to go on hearsay as well. How would you react if it had been you? Would you take the bait?

Someone with high EQ wouldn’t, someone who’s been around the block a few times, like Murtha. When asked how he felt about it (by Russert), here is what he replied: “…I try not to put this in a personal basis, and I would hope the people would take this suggestion as a responsible recommendation, and then read the resolution that I put forward, redeploy the troops on the periphery as quickly as within the safety of the troops. You know, this is a new member, and sometimes they give her something to say that –they get out of hand. I try not to take this stuff personal.”

He’s evasive, using political-speak, i.e., what does “within the safety of the troops” mean?? Sometimes “they” give her something to say … who are “they?” He implies he doesn’t take offense, and then sends us back to read what he actually proposed. The message: read what he said, read what she said. Emotional intelligence is about reality-testing.

The EQ points here?

· If you care about what really happened, go to the source and read it. Then analyzie it, logically and make your own decision. Don’t rely on hearsay.
· The press has incredible power in how they report things. Incendiary comments “sell.” You should consider this possible bias in anything you read. That’s reality-testing, and emotional intelligence competency. “Take it with a grain of salt.”
· Other thoughts I had – (1) she was ‘set up’ to do this. Entirely possible, as Murtha IMPLIES but does not SAY. The reactions may have been staged as well, albeit impromptu, and definitely opportunistic. But that’s politics. (2) the over-zealous newbie on the scene. This happens a lot. (3) What would have happened if she’d been a man? (4) Her apology? It was expected. It was given. It seemed extreme, as if she were afraid. She doesn’t seem able to ‘hold the center’ at this point.

Folks, what actually happened was all implied, which brings up another point.

She did not SAY he was a coward, she IMPLIED he was a coward. In politics, of course, you take the bait. In real life, I recommend you don’t, and Murtha knew this.

There’s an excellent book I recommend by a real pro, “The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense,” (http://tinyurl.com/6hngm ) by Suzette Haden Elgin. She takes you point-by-point through the disguised attacks, passive-aggressive maneuvers, and innuendoes from nasty folks we have to deal with all the time, giving responses you can make that will keep you out of trouble. Because, you see, once you “take the bait,” well the nature of the interchange is that you are dangling in the wind.

Let’s say your new boss comes up to you, a senior worker, and says, “I just talked to Joe Blow in accounting and he said people over 50 can’t remember anything. Young people do.”

Gonna take the bait?

Not you! You’ve got EQ.

If you say, “Well that doesn’t apply to ME, I remember everything,” you are on very, very thin ground, because no one (including Joe Blow, the young man in accounting) does not remember EVERYTHING. Further, you have included yourself, whereas technically neither Joe Blow nor the manager had. In other words, you implicated yourself. Not smart! Low EQ!

Likewise getting sucked in to the black hold of “No! Young people don’t remember everything.”

If you say, “Tell Joe Blow to mind his own business,” you reveal an inability to remain reasonable under pressure.

A possible response? “What an interesting theory. I wonder he read that.” You thereby imply (fair is fair … remember, your attacker has laid the ground rules here) he read it, that it doesn’t apply to you, etc. Tit for tat. Then get back to your work!

When you give someone the power to “make” you angry, you lose…. on three fronts:

1. You give up your personal power, an emotional intelligence competency.
2. The physiological reaction of anger prevents you from thinking clearly when you need it the most.
3. A minute of angry suppresses the immune system for about an hour. Is it worth it to your health? Usually not. Righteous indignation included.

As Epictetus said many, many years ago: “Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him”

Drama aside, the issues under discussion were serious ones. If you care, read about them. Then speak your peace, write your congresspeople and exercise your rights. And don’t do it by implication and he-said, she-said, gather up your EQ and state your opinion, with the rational arguments behind them.

One reason we study EQ is so we don’t fall prey to all the people who use emotions to manipulate us.

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